Snake Oil: Sale Five - Advertising Phase
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Location: Round Rock, TX
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
- Goon
- Goon
- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
- Pronoun: he/him
- Location: Round Rock, TX
Listen, you need to pump the crowd up, but it's hard to see in that costume. That's why you need theScream Leash! Its constant noise-making technology keeps the crowd on their feet for the entire game, and you're safe in your 2 yard diameter circle! No more decisions on which baby to kiss, no more tripping on chairs, no more trouble! Just let theScream Leashdo the work for you!-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Joined: April 3, 2012
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- Location: Round Rock, TX
So, imagine the sound of a sold out crowd screaming and cheering. Now, imagine that sound being made by one person. It's pretty much that! Everyone loves the sound of the roar of a crowd.
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
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- Location: Round Rock, TX
It doesn't need to. The approving screams and cheers have been scientifically proven to be the best sound; there is no need for another! Makes things much simpler, too!In post 16, biancospino wrote: How can theScream Leashdetermine what sound is it best for it to produce? A crowd can do many different kind of roars depending on the circumstances
Now for some questions...
Is theMachine Frienddesigned to replace the work of a mascot?
How good is theFear Broom™ at being a broom?
How is theLava Suitdelivered to the mascot once it's purchased?-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
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- Location: Round Rock, TX
No one wants to be arrested for stealing valuables from a grave. Fortunately, you can make it so the cops just think you're doing a prank... as long as you're wearing theCollege Costume! Just tell the officers you're doing a hazing thing and they'll completely understand. You'll get off scot free and super rich!-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Joined: April 3, 2012
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- Location: Round Rock, TX
The College Costume comes in all shapes, styles, and sizes, just like any outfit you might find in a regular college store!In post 29, DragonEater70 wrote:
Does the costume fit both men and women?In post 26, JerryArr wrote: No one wants to be arrested for stealing valuables from a grave. Fortunately, you can make it so the cops just think you're doing a prank... as long as you're wearing theCollege Costume! Just tell the officers you're doing a hazing thing and they'll completely understand. You'll get off scot free and super rich!
Now, some questions.
How does theSeed Computerget the information it collects to you?
Once theSun Riveris used up, how does one recharge it?
How long does theMouth Lightbattery last?
Many grave robbers use the help of dogs, is theInsect Erasersafe for dogs?-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
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- Location: Round Rock, TX
It's what has been haunting your dreams. What you've been yearning to know your entire life. It's been eating at your very soul, and it's the only thing that'll get you off this island. Fortunately, I know the secret that has been passed down for generations. For a nominal fee, I can tell you this wisdom.
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
- Pronoun: he/him
- Location: Round Rock, TX
Obviously, I cannot give away too much, but suffice to say, once you realize theIn post 51, biancospino wrote:
I'm intrigued, but how could knowledge alone save me from this island? For wondrous that it may be, I'll still need to physically manage to leave somehow.In post 44, JerryArr wrote: It's what has been haunting your dreams. What you've been yearning to know your entire life. It's been eating at your very soul, and it's the only thing that'll get you off this island. Fortunately, I know the secret that has been passed down for generations. For a nominal fee, I can tell you this wisdom.Shell Truth, all of your needs will be met, and then some.
How big is theFire Key? Can it fit in a pocket?
Does theNoise Belthave a way to adjust the volume?
If I buy theStar Ticket, how will you treat my friend Jeff, who is definitely not just a coconut attached to some palm leaves and shoelaces?-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
- Pronoun: he/him
- Location: Round Rock, TX
Listen up. Fostering an environment where your kids want to learn, and are happy to do so, is very important. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. The people who think schools should just be a homogenization facility don't like when kids have a positive outlook on life. You should do something about that. It's cool, it's educational, it's sleek, and it helps you teach kids about physics... especially projectile physics. It's theDesk Tank! Teach your kids history, while making teacher haters history!-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Joined: April 3, 2012
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- Location: Round Rock, TX
How does theGame Shirtprotect against accidental pointing?
How was theSleep Nettested to make sure it's safe?
How isHead Powderstored?
Are you concerned with the name "Hormone Murder" in terms of its marketability?-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
- Pronoun: he/him
- Location: Round Rock, TX
I should probably post these in the thread and not accidentally PM people
As you may know, our company and factories are based in America, so theIn post 75, biancospino wrote: @Jerry, is your product... uh... legal? And will it not be dangerous to have a projectile weapon on the open in a room with a bunch of children that will surely try to carelessly mess with it?Desk Tankis no less legal here than, say, teaching about certain subjects in certain parts of the country. Fortunately, Congress considers this to legally be a table, so it should be available in most stores. Also, it will not operate without both keys turned simultaneously, and the munitions are locked away, protected from prying kids' hands, so there's no danger of anyone other than the teacher using it. TheDesk Tank's treads mean it's easily moved from the inside of a classroom to the outside, too.-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
- Pronoun: he/him
- Location: Round Rock, TX
Oh, it's very dangerous once it's started up! Especially to anti-teacher people. It's a fairly complex machine, but the included instruction and safety manual goes over everything. It's about as big as a normal teacher's desk, but with a convertible top for Tank Mode.In post 79, DragonEater70 wrote: I have to wonder - is it actually dangerous or is that just the slogan? How easy is it to operate? How big is it?-
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JerryArr he/himGoonhe/him
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- Posts: 418
- Joined: April 3, 2012
- Pronoun: he/him
- Location: Round Rock, TX
Spring rain on some leaves.
Is it ninja or a birch?
It'sTree Maskmagic.
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