/in-Vitational Game 5, Simon Mafia 2: Game Over before 832

[petroleumjelly]

Welcome to my Hotel. Enjoy.

Alive

: 12

• 1.)
  Battousai
  
  
• 2.)
  Debonair Danny DiPietro
  
  
• 3.)
  Elmo
  
  
• 4.)
  forbiddanlight
  
  
• 5.)
  Goatrevolt
  
  
• 6.)
  LlamaFluff
  
  
• 7.)
  Lord Gurgi
  
  
• 8.)
  Nuwen
  
  
• 9.)
  Patrick
  
  
• 10.)
  SpyreX
  
  
• 11.)
  TDC
  
  
• 12.)
  ZazieR

Dead

: 0

~ Nobody ~

Bolded players have confirmed.

• Rules ("West Wall")
  
• Introduction
  
• Day One Begins – Day One Ends
  
• Day Two Begins - Day Two Ends
  
• Day Three Begins - Day Three Ends
  
• Day Four Begins - Game Over
  
• Roles
  
• Actions
  
• PJ Commentary

[petroleumjelly]

Condensed Rules

1.)

Be civil.

2.)

No talking outside the game about this game, unless your role PM allows otherwise.

3.)

No editing or deleting your own posts or another's posts.

4.)

No mod-quoting. Only paraphrase in your own words. This does not apply to the sample role PM, which all townies have.

5.)

A lynch (or a No Lynch) takes a majority of votes. In the event of a deadline, a majority of a majority will do. (In other words, if 7 players are alive, it takes 4 votes to lynch normally, and 3 votes with a deadline). If there is a tie, first come, first served.

6.)

To vote, post a bolded

Vote: PJ

. To unvote, post a bolded

Unvote: PJ

. If you are switching votes, an unvote is not necessary, but appreciated.

7.)

If you have a request, please use a bolded

Mod: So-and-So

.

8.)

If you're dead, do not post.

9.)

If you notice there has been a lynch, stop posting.

10.)

I reserve the right to change or add to all game rules.

Special Rules

1.)

Day One will have a deadline of three weeks. From that point on, each Day will have a deadline of two weeks. There will be no extensions unless (i) the site goes down, (ii) I need to replace a player near deadline, or (iii) justice requires it.

2.)

Pre-Game will last two real-time days. Each Night of the game will last three real-time days.

3.)

Each Day, the Town will be allowed to choose which Colored Floor will be locked. A full majority is needed to choose a Floor. In case the Town fails to choose a Colored Floor by nightfall, each Day has a predetermined “Backup Floor” which will be chosen. To help lock a Floor, simply post

Lock: Red

. When trying to lock a new Floor, an

Unlock: Red

is appreciated, but not necessary.

4.)

If a player is in a locked floor (or in a locked room), they cannot take any actions which require them to leave their room (this includes killing roles) that night. If a player is on a locked floor (or in a locked room), they cannot be targeted by actions which require their door to be opened (this includes killing roles) that night.

Clarifications

1.)

Once a Floor has obtained a majority of guests try to lock a single Floor, that Floor will be locked the next night regardless of whether players then try to Unlock that Floor. (Clarification added August 9).

2.)

The Back-Up Floor for each Day will be announced upon Daybreak. (Clarification added August 9).

3.)

You

must

use

Lock: Red

in order to help lock that floor. A

Vote: Red

will not be accepted. (Clarification added August 9).

4.)

If I feel a player is trying to abuse the system by trying to "Lock" a guest or by trying to "Vote" a Floor, then I reserve the right to punish that player depending on the situation. (Clarification added August 10).

5.)

When a player is lynched, unless something has an effect on what information is revealed, that player's alignment, role, and

current

Floor color (i.e. what Color floor that player would be retiring to that same night had they not been lynched) will all be revealed before going into night. (Clarification added August 10).

6.)

A Bellhop gets to choose what Floor to which they move their target. In fact, if they do not specify where they wish to move their target, I will consider there to have not been a submitted choice. (Clarification added August 22).

7.)

A Bellhop can target himself or herself to be their own target. (Clarification added August 22).

Role Information

• There are at least 3 Mafia Members.
  
• There is at least one Bellhop of some alignment.
  
• There are at least 3 Townies.

Townie

You are a member of the Town. You are helpless and deserve to die. I will do my best to speed it along.

You win when all Mafia, Serial Killers, and Cultists are dead, and there is at least one member of the Town still alive.

You are on Colored Floor [Color].

Confirm your role by PM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck, and have fun!

PJ

Having worked for me in the past, you know exactly how tight of a ship I run. You also have some knowledge about the technology in the Hotel. Each night, I will allow you to fiddle with the electric control panel in your room. Don’t worry, there is panel like this in every room of the Hotel, so you can take this action even if you are moved to another floor. Doing this will allow you to change the information in the Hotel computer such that it will order a guest to be transferred onto another floor the following morning. If you are successful, the guest will be sent the following PM:

When you wake up, a Servant hurriedly passes you a piece of paper with the instructions that from now on, you will be residing on the [Insert Color Here] Floor.

There are two exceptions, however. (1) If more than one person tries to move a particular guest to a new floor on the same night, the computer will disregard those commands, the guest will remain unmoved, and the guest will receive no notification that they were ever targeted. (2) If the guest would be moved to the same Floor they are already on, they will not be notified and will remain unmoved.

You will never be told outright if your actions are successful.

You may use your ability even if your Colored Floor is locked. If a guest is in a locked floor, they can still be targeted by this ability since (i) this ability does not require you to enter their room, and (ii) they will change Floors the next morning and not during the Night.

[Win Condition]

You are on Colored Floor [Color].

Confirm your role by PM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck, and have fun!

PJ

[petroleumjelly]

Thirteen people sit in a drab room.

The lights in the room begin flashing. The front door closes and another door opens, and a man wearing a tweed suit slowly descends the staircase. He wears glasses, and his brown hair is in a pony-tail. His face betrays the barest hint of a smile.

The lights begin to make a pattern, and then warp into four familiar colors. Green, Red, Yellow, Blue. You can almost hear the musical notes that accompany each hue. The kaleidoscope stops.

“Welcome! My name is Neil Wilson, and I am your host. Please, hold your applause, and call me PJ for short; don’t ask. In fact, please don’t talk for the next several minutes, for I fully expect that most of you will be dead before any of you can leave this hotel.

“Although each of you has been told differently up until this point, I invited you all here for one reason, and one reason alone: for my own amusement. I will not burden you with the details. Suffice it to say that I am quite wealthy, and quite bored.”

His voice becomes more cheerful. “This hotel was built with endurance in mind. You may have noticed there are no actual windows; there are no telephones; there are no computers, seemingly no precautions for fires, and above all, no ways to communicate with the outside world. Please turn off your cell phones – surely you have noticed that they do you no good here, just as they did you no good in your limousine rides here. Your families and friends have been told that you are at another location, so if you are beginning to harbor hopes of being saved, please discard them now.”

One woman stands up as if to protest. The man in the tweed suit gives her a look as if to say “I-am-not-amused”, pulls out a gun, and shoots her in the head. She collapses to the floor, quite dead. Two bellhops peel from the wall, and begin dragging her off.

“As I was saying. You have no contacts with the outside world. As long as you are here, you are mine. Do as I say, and you may well live. Disobey…” His eyes quickly glance at the woman, and he shrugs.

“Quick facts! Besides this lobby, this Hotel has four floors. They are color-coded for your shopping convenience. Those four floors are where each of you will be staying. Each night, I will allow the lot of you to have one floor flocked: when a floor is locked, nobody on that floor can leave their room, and likewise, nobody can enter any room on that floor. You have each been pre-assigned a room, but as the ‘Tournament’ progresses you may be asked to change rooms.

“There are cameras in every room, and every hallway. There are people working in this building for me that you will never see, and never hear, except – if all goes according to plan – for in this room at this moment. They are each utterly at my command. Go ahead, give them a wave. From this point forward, if you approach or attempt to make contact with any of my servants for any reason, you will be shot.

“Now. Three of you may have recognized each other. You have worked with me on a previous project. To you three: it is your job to kill every other guest in this room. Every single last one of them. If a few moments ago you thought another guest in this room might make a wonderful friend, just know if you do not kill them, either they will kill you or I shall kill you. The three of you have a means of communicating with each other at night which shall be described to you at a later time in privacy.

"To the other ten – my apologies, nine – of you, it is your job to kill these three persons. However, in order to assure my amusement over the course of several days, these killings must be done in an orderly and civil fashion.

“The game is called Mafia. Perhaps you have heard of it?”

~

It is now Pre-Game. Roles that can night-talk can talk with each other during this time. The game will begin on August 10.

[petroleumjelly]

It is now

Day One

. With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

7

to lock a floor. At deadline, it will take

4

to lynch. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 CDT.

Back-Up Floor

: Red

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day One Vote Count #1

2 Battousai (Nuwen, Patrick)
1 Elmo (ZazieR)
1 Patrick (Battousai)
1 SpyreX (TDC)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 7 – Debonair Danny DiPietro, Elmo, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, SpyreX

~

0 Blue
0 Green
0 Red
0 Yellow

Not Locking – 12 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Elmo, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, Nuwen, Patrick, SpyreX, TDC, ZazieR

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lock. Back-Up Floor is:

Red

.

~

Mr. Flay

will now take over for me while I am away. Obey his every command. And I mean

every

command.

[petroleumjelly]

The man in the tweed suit slowly walks into the room from a wall rubbing his temples. He waits a few seconds for the conversation to stop, grows impatient, and shoots into the ceiling to shut the room up.

"I'm not sure what is so complicated about this. All I ask is that you give me each others' hearts. But if it will move things along:

"

1.)

When a Floor is locked,

every room on that Floor is considered to be locked

. This is explained in

Special Rule #4

, which I will remind you is conveniently written on the West Wall for easy reference:

4.)

If a player is in a locked floor (or in a locked room), they cannot take any actions which require them to leave their room (this includes killing roles) that night. If a player is on a locked floor (or in a locked room), they cannot be targeted by actions which require their door to be opened (this includes killing roles) that night.

"

2.)

Nothing happens with a 'room with nobody in it'; my Hotel has thirteen rooms on each Floor in order to accommodate all of my splendid guests should they all be on the same Floor. Although I suppose the thirteenth room is no longer needed.

"If you were asking something else, be more specific. I'm only as helpful as I need to be. And right now I have little incentive to be helpful. Why isn't somebody dead yet? It would be just my luck to have recruited a bunch of pacifists..."

~

"Mr. Flay, I think I will need your presence for just a while longer. After that, please relieve Lucien from Sniper Seat #12. I'm going to get some aspirin."

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day One Vote Count #5

3 - Debonair Danny DiPietro (SpyreX, ZazieR, Lord Gurgi)
2 - Battousai (Nuwen, Elmo)
2 - ZazieR (Goatrevolt, Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 - LlamaFluff (forbiddanlight)
1 - Lord Gurgi (Battousai)
1 - Nuwen (Patrick)
1 - SpyreX (TDC)
1 - TDC (LlamaFluff)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 0 - Nobody

~

0 - Blue
0 - Green
0 - Red
0 - Yellow

Not Locking – 12 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Elmo, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, Nuwen, Patrick, SpyreX, TDC, ZazieR

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lock. Back-Up Floor is:

Red

.

[petroleumjelly]

An all-encompassing voice permeates -- in a bored "wah-wah-wah" fashion, as if he were a "Peanuts" parent -- through the very atmosphere of the room:

"As a technical note, any player who has the ability to be a Bellhop -- not a terribly complicated profession, I might add -- gets to choose who they move and to what colored Floor each night. In addition, they may have it arranged to have their own Floor changed. I will have this added to West Wall when none of you are paying attention...

"Oh, and the vending machine on the Eighth Floor only takes exact change. Yes, I'm talking to you, Gerrard. Just stop trying to buy that honey bun already and go with the sun chips."

[petroleumjelly]

Are there killing roles which do not require entering a person's room? Does "this includes killing roles" in Special Rules #4 mean that all killing roles require entering a person's room?

“Let us look at the West Wall:”

4.)

If a player is in a locked floor (or in a locked room), they cannot take any actions which require them to leave their room

(this includes killing roles)

that night. If a player is on a locked floor (or in a locked room), they cannot be targeted by actions which require their door to be opened

(this includes killing roles)

that night.*

*Underlines added for emphasis.

“An ordinary killing role with no other powers will be unable to even successfully target a player who is in locked room or on a locked Floor. However, there may be mechanics or abilities that allow players doors or Floors to become temporarily unlocked such that a killing role will be able to target a player precisely

because

a room or Floor is no longer locked.

“In other words, a player in a locked room is safe unless a power exists which makes them not safe. For the record, though,

I

can kill any player at any time regardless of whether they are on a locked Floor, but I have graciously decided to not take part in this game unless necessary.

"Also, as an incentive to move this day along, if there is a lynch before the next vote count, then all living guests will be treated to raspberry pie and vanilla ice cream. This will have no effects on the game, of course, but I trust it will be scrumptious."

Note: Additional clarifications have been added to the West Wall, specifically clarifications #6 and #7.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day One Vote Count #11

3 - ZazieR (Goatrevolt, Debonair Danny DiPietro, SpyreX)
2 - Debonair Danny DiPietro (ZazieR, Lord Gurgi)
2 - Lord Gurgi (Battousai, Nuwen)
1 - Battousai (Elmo)
1 - LlamaFluff (forbiddanlight)
1 - SpyreX (TDC)
1 - TDC (LlamaFluff)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 1 - Patrick

---

LOCK COUNT

9 - Green (TDC, LlamaFluff, SpyreX, forbiddanlight, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi)
0 - Blue
0 - Red
0 - Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, Patrick, ZazieR

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN

.

“That’s it. Nobody is getting any pie.

Or

ice cream.”

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day One Vote Count #15

4 - ZazieR (Goatrevolt, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Lord Gurgi, Elmo)
2 - Elmo (Patrick, forbiddanlight)
2 - Lord Gurgi (Battousai, Nuwen)
1 - Battousai (SpyreX)
1 - Debonair Danny DiPietro (ZazieR)
1 - TDC (LlamaFluff)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 1 – TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

9 - Green (TDC, LlamaFluff, SpyreX, forbiddanlight, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi)
0 - Blue
0 - Red
0 - Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, Patrick, ZazieR

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN

.

[petroleumjelly]

Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, and ZazieR have been prodded.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day One Vote Count #16

4 - Elmo (Patrick, forbiddanlight, LlamaFluff, Battousai)
4 - ZazieR (Goatrevolt, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Lord Gurgi, Elmo)
1 - Battousai (SpyreX)
1 - Debonair Danny DiPietro (ZazieR)
1 - Lord Gurgi (Nuwen)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 1 – TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

9 - Green (TDC, LlamaFluff, SpyreX, forbiddanlight, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi)
0 - Blue
0 - Red
0 - Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, Patrick, ZazieR

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN

.

[petroleumjelly]

“Hi. I am going to refer our guests to the

very first rule

of our little game:"

1.)

Be civil.

“If you can’t say something nice, then by all means,

please

let me know and I will be happy to be as accommodating about the situation as possible.

"My methods of accommodation are very specialized, in that I solve problems by lodging bullets in brains. I find that people who require my help are so impressed after a single session that they never have to request my services again. If there is a single thing I pride myself in in this life, it is cleaning up the messes that people make for themselves. And the brains and blood that go along with it."

~

Official Day One Vote Count #17

4 - Elmo (Patrick, forbiddanlight, LlamaFluff, Battousai)
4 - ZazieR (Goatrevolt, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Lord Gurgi, Elmo)
1 - Battousai (SpyreX)
1 - Debonair Danny DiPietro (ZazieR)
1 - Lord Gurgi (Nuwen)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 1 – TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

9 - Green (TDC, LlamaFluff, SpyreX, forbiddanlight, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi)
0 - Blue
0 - Red
0 - Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, Patrick, ZazieR

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN

.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day One Vote Count #18

6 - ZazieR (Goatrevolt, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Lord Gurgi, Elmo, SpyreX, forbiddanlight)
2 - Elmo (Patrick, Battousai)
1 - Debonair Danny DiPietro (ZazieR)
1 - Lord Gurgi (Nuwen)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 2 – LlamaFluff, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

9 - Green (TDC, LlamaFluff, SpyreX, forbiddanlight, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi)
0 - Blue
0 - Red
0 - Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, Patrick, ZazieR

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN

.

[petroleumjelly]

"Some players seem to be suggesting that there be a slight wardrobe swap for our guest ZazieR -- in the sense that I give his clothes to somebody else while disposing of the body. However, I shall remind my most pleasurable guests that we are creeping towards the Witching Hour, and the Witching Hours needs blood before a Warlock can make his magic. At least that's my understanding. If anybody knows an easier way, by the by, please contact me.

"If I choose to replace ZazieR, I will not be doing so directly before deadline which would then require an extension. In case you haven't noticed, I want

you

to kill somebody instead of forcing

me

to kill somebody and sucker another sap to join our little congregation. I may replace him during the night or during daybreak, but not today."

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day One Vote Count #19, End of Day One

7 - ZazieR (Goatrevolt, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Lord Gurgi, Elmo, SpyreX, forbiddanlight, Battousai)
1 - Debonair Danny DiPietro (ZazieR)
1 - Elmo (Patrick)
1 - Lord Gurgi (Nuwen)

With

12

alive, it takes

7

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 1, 10:00 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 2 – LlamaFluff, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

9 - Green (TDC, LlamaFluff, SpyreX, forbiddanlight, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi)
0 - Blue
0 - Red
0 - Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, Patrick, ZazieR

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN

.

~

The man in tweed sits in a back room somewhere in the Hotel, while observing the festivities in the Lobby through the use of a concealed camera. The guests had been reluctant at first, but a concensus was definitely forming. He fills his lungs with the air of anticipation, and a smile involuntarily cuts across his face. He could practically taste the blood that would surely be filling the air very soon.

Hurriedly, he opens a drawer and picks several guns from his collection with his right hand, while typing commands with his left hand to a few closely trusted servants. Through the magic of the Hotel, he walks through a few walls and stops once he stands in one of the corners of the Lobby, which had been darkened just moments ago.

After a couple minutes of waiting, the classic scene arises: ultimatums are made, and seven people raise their hands – some timidly, some boldly. The faces in the room show traces of exasperation, tiredness, anger, bitterness, regret. ZazieR looks particularly distraught, as if he was just led to believe that the moon was going to crash into the Earth. He half-stands out of his chair, and at that moment, there comes a soft clapping. ZazieR freezes.

“Oh,

congratulations

!” says the man in tweed. He claps while he walks from the dark corner. “I just

knew

you could do it! Really, I ought to have more faith in humanity. It looks like ZazieR is today’s lucky winner. I’ll make it quick.”

ZazieR, in a frantic motion, jumps behind a few of the other guests and attempts to use them as shields while blocking Mr. Wilson’s line of sight. The man in tweed simply looks unamused and makes no attempts to aim or fire, but instead holds a gun at his side. He looks slightly bored, and says:

“Nobody move.”

Two seconds later, there is a gunshot from the back of the room and ZazieR falls to the ground. He is not dead, but appears to have been shot in the leg. The shot clearly did not come from the man in tweed, and the guests quickly back away in slight shock. ZazieR looks around and clutches the carpet in pain and screams. He then begins crying and cursing the other guests, while trying to drag himself towards a sofa.

Mr. Wilson walks up coldly, raises his gun, and fires at point-blank range into ZazieR’s face. Silence follows.

“And that’s that,” says the man in tweed cheerfully. He looks over his gun as if to make sure there are not flecks of brain on it, and apparently satisfied, pockets it. “Unfortunately for you, ZazieR was naught but a hapless sap. Well done. That was

truly

superb.

“Now, off to bed with the lot of you; sleep tight!”

ZazieR, Townie, has been lynched!

. He was currently residing on the

Red

Floor.

Deadline for night is September 4, 9:59 pm CDT. As a heads-up, I probably will not be able to be on-line until the next morning,

but

that is still the deadline for choices – just because you send a PM before I get on-line does not mean I will accept the choice.

[petroleumjelly]

As the guests slowly fill the Lobby, Mr. Wilson sits on one of the chairs with his legs crossed (with a gun in his right hand, of course) and an insufferably smug look on his face. There are no traces on the carpet that ZazieR ever existed.

“Yes, yes, come on in, there is a seat for you right there, Mr. Stephanopolous… I don’t

care

if that’s not your name, and if you question me again I shall shoot you in the spine. Ms. Pofflebutton, I seem to recall you like tea: there is some at the back table especially for you. No no, the third table to the left. The other left. For God’s sake if you go the wrong table again I swear I will kill you before today is through. You will be sitting by Mr. Stephanopolous…”

The guests roll in and the man in tweed kindly allows them to break their fasts. As the guests eat and sip their drinks

ever

so politely, the absence of one person becomes more and more conspicious. Although the empty seat is unhelpfully labeled “Mr. Quosterstrom II,” it is readily apparent that the missing guest is none other than Patrick.

“

Hmm

,” ponders the man in tweed aloud. “Where could Mr. Quosterstrom II be? I daresay he is not often late to morning tea. I do hope he died overnight, else I would have to kill him myself…”

Two servants emerge from the elevator while rolling a gurney. A hand droops limply from under the white sheet. Mr. Wilson’s head perks up inquisitively. “You’re sure he’s dead? Well, no point in taking chances. Dispose of him in the furnace.”

The man in tweed stands and brushes off his immaculate suit. “So. The murderers have already struck, and this time I can assure you that I did not do the killing. Perhaps that will instill some

vigour

in the rest of you today. You have fourteen hours.

"Mr. Quosterstrom II, by the way, was quite useless. You're probably better off with him gone." The man in tweed promptly steps into the elevator, which descends while the doors are still open. He gives a twinkly little wave before dropping out of sight. The doors close behind him, leaving ten guests in a room.

Patrick, Townie, has been killed!

We was currently residing on the

Blue

Floor.

~

It is now

Day Two

. With

10

alive it takes

6

to lynch and

6

to lock a floor. At deadline, it will take

4

to lynch. Deadline is September 22, 9:59 pm CDT.

Back-Up Floor

: Red

Apologies for the late start today; I was gone for Labor Day Weekend without internet access.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Two Vote Count #1

2 Nuwen (forbiddanlight, SpyreX)
1 Battousai (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 LlamaFluff (Lord Gurgi)

With

10

alive, it takes

6

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 22, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 6 – Battousai, Elmo, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Nuwen, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

7 – Green (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Lord Gurgi, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, LlamaFluff, TDC

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

~

“Please ignore the fact that Señor Picklewick is being led to a back room. Also, please ignore any gunshots and screaming you may hear. Finally, please ignore the fact that Señor Picklewick may look slightly different when he returns to the room... after all, it's the clothes that make the man."

LlamaFluff is being replaced.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Two Vote Count #2

2 Nuwen (forbiddanlight, SpyreX)
1 Battousai (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 LlamaFluff (Lord Gurgi)
1 TDC (Elmo)

With

10

alive, it takes

6

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 22, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 5 – Battousai, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Nuwen, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

7 – Green (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Lord Gurgi, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Elmo, LlamaFluff, TDC

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Two Vote Count #3

3 Nuwen (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Goatrevolt)
1 Battousai (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 LlamaFluff (Lord Gurgi)
1 TDC (Elmo)

With

10

alive, it takes

6

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 22, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 4 – Battousai, LlamaFluff, Nuwen, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

8 – Green (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Lord Gurgi, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, TDC)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 2 – Elmo, LlamaFluff

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

~

Debonair Danny DiPietro, Lord Gurgi, Nuwen, and TDC have been prodded. I am still looking for a replacement for LlamaFluff.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Two Vote Count #4

3 Nuwen (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Goatrevolt)
1 Battousai (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 LlamaFluff (Lord Gurgi)
1 TDC (Elmo)

With

10

alive, it takes

6

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 22, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 4 – Battousai, LlamaFluff, Nuwen, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

8 – Green (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Lord Gurgi, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, TDC)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 2 – Elmo, LlamaFluff

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

Nuwen has already been prodded. I will not reveal whether or not Nuwen has picked up her prod.

Just a reminder: the deadline September 22.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Two Vote Count #5

3 Nuwen (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Goatrevolt)
1 LlamaFluff (Lord Gurgi)
1 Lord Gurgi (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 TDC (LlamaFluff)

With

10

alive, it takes

6

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 22, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 4 – Battousai, Elmo, Nuwen, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

8 – Green (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Lord Gurgi, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, TDC)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 2 – Elmo, LlamaFluff

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

[petroleumjelly]

I have considered trying to replace Nuwen, but I will say this plainly: not a single suitable player offered to replace LlamaFluff after over a week of waiting, so I am doubtful I will find a suitable replacement for Nuwen in the course of a day and a half. A suitable player must (i) have had no relations at all with any other /in-vitational, and (ii) must also be approved by all living players in the game. As things stand, I am not going to indefinitely prolong Day Two in the hopes of finding a replacement, so unless I say otherwise, please assume that the deadline will remain intact.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Two Vote Count #6, End of Day Two

4 Nuwen (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Goatrevolt, Battousai)
1 LlamaFluff (Lord Gurgi)
1 Lord Gurgi (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 TDC (LlamaFluff)

With

10

alive, it takes

6

to lynch and

4

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is September 22, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 3 – Elmo, Nuwen, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

8 – Green (forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Lord Gurgi, Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Nuwen, Goatrevolt, TDC)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 2 – Elmo, LlamaFluff

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

~

As a warning, this scene is particularly violent.

The man in tweed idly spins in his twisty-chair somewhere in the Hotel, watching the array of screens featurings multiple angles of the Lobby with fascination. There is just

something

about watching people being forced to kill each other that makes him giddy inside. One of these days he was going to have to be less restrictive with the locations of these events, but with all the wire-tapping and blabbermouths in the world, prudence dictated that he be completely in control.

“Hmmm, looks like Mrs. Buttersby might be in trouble,” he says to himself. He unwraps a giant multi-colored lollipop – the flat kind – and swirls it around in his hand. “Yes indeed.” He tosses the untouched confection into the proper receptacle and grabs a few more guns, distributing them in various pockets of his clothing. Just in case.

Mr. Wilson decides to take one of the scenic routes to the Lobby. He greets a few people in his employ behind the scenes as he does so.

“Good work.”
“There’s a lollipop in the trash if you’re hungry.”
“I wouldn’t trust Geraldo if I were you.”
“I thought I fired you…”

*GUNSHOT*

“Oh, you’re not Lisa. Sorry.”
“Hapmabbleblap!”
“Round up the cats.”
“Clean-up in Aisle Four. I swear she looked just like Lisa.”

By the time he gets to the Lobby the decision has been made. Everybody in the room looks to the man in tweed as he seemingly peels off from the West Wall, with words from the Wall somehow on his suit.

“So! I see you you have come to concensus. Or, at least, you’ve reached a majority. Or, four of you have. Still, that’s good enough for me.”

The guests all look him somewhat nonplussed. Mr. Wilson stands, motionless. For a good while, nothing is said.

“What, do you expect me to kill her myself? Please. You have five minutes to kill her dead, or I will gas the lot of you.”

Nuwen (

aka

Mrs. Buttersby) sits perfectly motionless. One of the guests hesitantly picks up a lamp from one of the inn tables, hefting the weight in his hand. “Go on,” says the man in tweed. “Somebody has to do it.”

There is a crash as the lamp is bashed into Nuwen’s cranium, and the lamp shatters onto the floor. Nuwen gives a reactionary scream of pain, and the man holding the remains of the lamp begins to cry. The guests seem slightly in shock, and do nothing.

“Four minutes. If you’re waiting around for sympathy, you’re not going to find it from me.”

Another guest suddenly forcefully punches Nuwen in the face, and she falls from the couch to the floor. Another half-heartedly kicks her in the side. Suddenly half the town is beating her with their fists and feet. Mr. Wilson points his gun at the non-participants, and they reluctantly join the process. It seems the more Nuwen is hit, the more force people start to put into their blows – as if it becomes more acceptable because others are doing it, too.

“Three minutes. I’m serious. If she is not certifiably dead in three minutes,

all

of you die.”

There is another crash from a second lamp, and then somebody starts using one of the shards as a stabbing device. A third tears off a part of their shirt, twists it, and begins choking her, which has the secondary effect of keeping Nuwen in place. A fourth takes a small hard-bound book and awkwardly begins bashing on the top of her skull.

“Two minutes… well, let me see. Back off. This won’t count against your time limit.” He bends down to check her pulse and her breath. “Well, I daresay you managed to kill her in less than three minutes! I’m so proud of you, words can hardly describe my elation. Some of you certainly got creative: for that, I applaud you. I'll have to remember to give you some more toys to work with tomorrow.”

Mr. Wilson begins to walk off towards the elevator. “Oh, by the way, she was completely innocent. I hope you’re all pleased with yourselves.

"Now: off to bed! Get! Shoo! We have a big day tomorrow!”

Nuwen, Townie, has been lynched!

She was currently residing on the

Blue

Floor.

Deadline for night is September 25, 9:59 pm CDT.

My apologies for declaring a No Lynch when I originally locked the thread; I unintentionally missed Battousai’s vote.

[petroleumjelly]

The man in tweed sits in a particularly comfy chair in the lobby, with a full grin across his face. At first, the grin might seem to be caused by innocent happiness: but a closer look reveals the deadness of his eyes and a definite feeling of sinisterness. It is four o’clock in the morning, and he has not been to bed. He has just finished cleaning up and disposing of the remains of Nuwen, and he is in fine form. The carpet is spotless, and everything is going according to plan.

~

Two and half hours later, after mulling how to give his speech for as long as he could stand, he picks up a large musical triangle, clears his throat, and gives a slight signal for a microphone to be turned on.

He clangs the triangle with all his might: “Come and geeeeeeet iiiiiiiiit! Rise and shine, my sweets! You have ten minutes to get dressed and get yourselves down here. If you try to hide in your room, I will have you locked in and I would deal with you personally at a later time.”

The group sullenly walks into the lobby, one by one, from the elevator. Everybody seems to be avoiding eye contact, and they silently wait in line for breakfast (which consists of an astounding array of quiches, assorted sliced fruit with yogurt, bacon, crepes, etc.). “Oh, let me see some smiles! Today is a big day! Even though everyday is my favorite day, I think the third day is always my

most

favorite day.”

As the guests seat themselves, it is clear that another guest seems to have gone missing. Mr. Wilson seems to take no notice, and he sips on a cold glass of strawberry guava juice. When everybody seems to be done eating, the man in tweed sets down his drink just loud enough so that everybody looks at him.

“Now, as I have just mentioned, the third day is almost always my most favorite day when I run these little games. This is because I always do the killing on the first day as a service, and on the second day I force the rest of you to do the killing. And here’s why that’s

so

special for me:

“You are all murderers. Every last one of you.

“Now, you might think that the circumstances here make it more…

morally

acceptable, if you will, for you to beat and strangle somebody until they are unable to live. Perhaps crushing somebody’s skull with a blunt object really isn’t

that

bad in the greater scheme of things. Perhaps they had terminal cancer, they were going to die anyways, and you were just helping move nature’s process along by slicing open their veins so that blood could not be pumped to their bodily organs. I frankly do not care how you might justify it to yourselves in your mind. Because under the law, you are all murderers.

“As some of you may or may not know, duress is not a defense to murder. The law does not care that some of you likely only killed Mrs. Buttersby (

aka

Nuwen) because I pointed a gun at you. Admittedly, you may have been legally off the hook had Nuwen fought back with deadly force, but as we all know, that was not the case, and hence you are far from making an argument of killing in self-defense. Hell, you might think that because you only kicked her in the ribs, you certainly could not be the cause of her death. But guess what? That is simply not true under the law.

“I have cameras planted all over my hotel, and you can rest assured that I will be saving certain tapes that most incriminate those of you who are fortunate enough to leave here alive. Put simply, that means: at all times, I have the power to tip off the government and have each of you arrested for murder. And trust me, if you manage to leave here, you will have had to have murdered more than one person. So if you think you might get off easy, you’re in for a surprise. And that means, when I send you a little letter asking you for a visit in the future, I highly suggest you comply.”

One of the guests makes a move as if to attack the man in tweed, but Mr. Wilson pulls out a gun and there are also several very audible gunclicks from the walls. “Now, now, sit down. Even if all you tried to rush me simultaneously, each of you would be shot down in turn. I have at least two marksmen assigned to cover

each

of you. The only reason I have not killed you on the spot is because you have made it so far in the game already, and I am intrigued as to what will happen. I do not want to ruin the dynamics here. But try that again, and I will have no qualms killing you. That’s right, just sit back down, and enjoy your eggs.

“Now, I have had past guests try to testify against me in trial. I have had them hire out investigators to find me. I have had several hire bounty hunters to kill me. As you can see, I am still alive and well, and they are not. Many of these people were astronomically smarter than most of you – one guest actually came fairly close to killing me about six years ago. But as I age, I learn. And I have learned from the best. And

you

are not the best. If any of you seriously have plans of trying to get back at me if you ever leave, by all means, give it the ol’ college try. Just know that nobody has been successful thus far.”

The man in tweed stands up and gives a big stretch. “I suppose most of you thought the empty seat today meant somebody died overnight. Ha! Goodness. I randomly locked somebody in their room to make it seem as though somebody had died.”

A guest is shoved from a wall, and after looking around in confusion, embarressedly sits down in the empty seat. “That’s right! You all lived through the night. What a blessing! Lunch will be served at one o’clock. If you manage to kill somebody before then, I shall make it a banquet you will never forget.”

Nobody has died.

Back-up Floor

: Blue.

It is now

Day Three

. With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch, and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #1

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 9 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Elmo, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, SpyreX, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

0 – Blue
0 – Green
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 9 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Elmo, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, SpyreX, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

Back-Up Floor

: Blue.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #2

1 – Lord Gurgi (Elmo)
1 – SpyreX (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 – TDC (SpyreX)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 6 – Battousai, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

4 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 5 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Elmo, LlamaFluff, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

Back-Up Floor

: Blue.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #3

1 – Elmo (Battousai)
1 – Lord Gurgi (Elmo)
1 – SpyreX (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 – TDC (SpyreX)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 5 – forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

6 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Battousai, Elmo, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

[petroleumjelly]

Elmo has been prodded.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #4

1 – Elmo (Battousai)
1 – Lord Gurgi (Elmo)
1 – SpyreX (Debonair Danny DiPietro)
1 – TDC (SpyreX)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 5 – forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

6 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Battousai, Elmo, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #5

2 – LlamaFluff (Elmo, Goatrevolt)
2 – TDC (SpyreX, Battousai)
1 – SpyreX (Debonair Danny DiPietro)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 4 – forbiddanlight, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

6 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Battousai, Elmo, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #6

3 – LlamaFluff (Elmo, Goatrevolt, TDC)
2 – TDC (SpyreX, Battousai)
1 – SpyreX (Debonair Danny DiPietro)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 3 – forbiddanlight, LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi

---

LOCK COUNT

6 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Battousai, Elmo, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

forbiddanlight has been prodded.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #7

3 – LlamaFluff (Elmo, TDC, forbiddanlight)
2 – Debonair Danny DiPietro (LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi)
2 – TDC (SpyreX, Battousai)
1 – SpyreX (Debonair Danny DiPietro)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 1 – Goatrevolt

---

LOCK COUNT

6 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Battousai, Elmo, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #8

4 – LlamaFluff (Elmo, TDC, forbiddanlight, Debonair Danny DiPietro)
2 – Debonair Danny DiPietro (LlamaFluff, Lord Gurgi)
2 – TDC (SpyreX, Battousai)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 1 – Goatrevolt

---

LOCK COUNT

6 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Battousai, Elmo, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #9

3 – LlamaFluff (TDC, forbiddanlight, Debonair Danny DiPietro)
2 – TDC (SpyreX, Battousai)
1 – Debonair Danny DiPietro (LlamaFluff)
1 – Lord Gurgi (Elmo)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 2 – Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi

---

LOCK COUNT

6 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff, Elmo)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 2 – Battousai, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

Note

: I will not be here to lock the thread at deadline, but the deadline will still hit at the appropriate time. Please do not post once the deadline hits, which is about one hour and forty five minutes from this post.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Three Vote Count #10, End of Day Three

3 – LlamaFluff (TDC, forbiddanlight, Debonair Danny DiPietro)
2 – Lord Gurgi (Elmo, Goatrevolt)
2 – TDC (SpyreX, Battousai)
1 – Debonair Danny DiPietro (LlamaFluff)

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lynch and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 10, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 1 – Lord Gurgi

---

LOCK COUNT

7 – Green (Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, forbiddanlight, SpyreX, Debonair Danny DiPietro, LlamaFluff, Elmo)
0 – Blue
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 2 – Battousai, TDC

With

9

alive, it takes

5

to lock a floor.

At nightfall, the floor to be locked is: GREEN.

~

Mr. Wilson walks from the elevator very slowly. His face is chiseled in displeasure. He quickly whips out a gun and shoots astoundingly above three different guest’s heads in order to get them to sit down more quickly.

“You think this is a game?”

Bam!

“You think this isn’t real?”

Bam!

“You think we are just killing stuffed dummies and not real people?”

Bam!

“Let me set you straight.

I

call this a game because I find it terribly fun. You, on the other hand, are essentially battling for your life. This is not some game of Old Maid; this is war. This is life. You need to be able to be aware of your surroundings, and to quickly adapt to them. At the moment, each and every one of you is doing a rather pathetic job of adapting to your surroundings.

“Your surroundings currently include the other guests in this game, and, oh, let’s see…

ME

. Not to mention the multiple guns aimed at each of that none of you can see, but of which you are all well aware. Perhaps you have forgotten, but I in no way promised that

any

of you will be leaving this building alive. To do that, I expect you to take your own life into your own hands and to do something with it. Sitting back and not coming to a concensus for

two days in a row

only tells me that you are not all that concerned with seeing another day.”

Mr. Wilson glares around the room, locking eyes with each remaining guest. Keeping his gun in plain view, he sits in a chair.

“So let’s see. It appears as though you have chosen Señor Picklewick as the guest of honor today. Very well. You have three minutes to kill him. If I feel like any of you are holding back, I will kill you. And I am deadly serious. Go.”

Although a couple hesitate, the town is quick to pin LlamaFluff to the ground. He is barraged with kicks and punches. He gives a mighty struggle, bucking his legs and swinging his fists, and even trying to bite hands that come close to his head. One guest has a flash of inspiration and grabs a pillow from one of the couches, and forcefully covers LlamaFluff’s face with it. Muffled screams of rage fill the room, but the audible intake of breath becomes less and less audible. The yelling is soon replaced by a bone-chilling crying. The body goes motionless after twenty more seconds. The entire room watches his stomach to see if there is another attempt for an intake of breath, but there are no signs of life.

The man in tweed waits an additional minute or so (while the town is awkwardly pinning LlamaFluff and still holding a pillow over his face) to make sure the deed is done. Suffocating people, after all, is a tricky business, and prone to mistakes.

When he is satisfied, Mr. Wilson stands up and does not even bother to check for a pulse.

“At least you have all become more efficient. The body will be disposed of tonight. Get to your rooms. Once again, you have unsurprisingly managed to kill an innocent nobody.”

LlamaFluff, Townie, has been lynched!

He was currently residing on the

Blue

floor.

It is now

Night Three

. Night choices are due October 14 at 9:59 pm CDT.

[petroleumjelly]

The guests walk into the room one by one, coming down from the elevator. Mr. Wilson sits cheerily in a chair, as if the previous day had never happened. The room, as usual, gives no clues about what might have occurred there in the past.

“Come, come! Don’t be shy. There are chairs for all of you. Can you believe you have lived this long? Isn’t that fantastic? Really, you oughtn’t be so afraid to let us all see your choppers with a smile. Food and drinks are to your left. If you need any help, feel free to approach any of my staff so that you can be promptly shot.”

The guests sit in a semi-circle of couches and chairs, and as usual, one guest is absent. Mr. Wilson seems to ignore this fact.

“So let’s have some group therapy. Does anybody have anything on their mind?”

One guest says exactly what is on his mind. Instead of shooting him (as just about every guest in the room anticipates), Mr. Wilson laughs heartily.

“Yes, I expect most in this room share your feelings. But complaints are a two-way street. So now it’s my turn:

“I think you are worthless excuse for a human being and that that is why I invited you to my Hotel. As I recall, Mr. Jobbins, your wife does not really love you, as evidenced by the fact that your first child is actually not your child. You seem surprised, but trust me – I’ve checked the DNA. You work in a cubicle where you generally keep two screens open – one for “work” and the other for play. So even when you are doing your “job” you are usually not even doing that.

“You contribute to society largely by being another squawking person with a mouth to feed requiring another roof to cover. You are not particularly intelligent, you are not particularly helpful, and you are not particularly grateful to be alive.

“Why should

you

get to live, and to have a better life over those born in different parts of the world? There are people who have done

far

greater things than you in much poorer countries than the United States, but as the world currently is, they get nothing in return for their investment while you get returns for investing nothing whatsoever.

“My mission in life is to try to make sure people reap what they sow. Every person in this room other than me has essentially put nothing towards making the world a better place. And yet you try to reap from the world by making

your

lives better. Well: so long as you in my Hotel, I shall be doing the reaping.

“The same reasoning goes to each of you in general, although each of you have slightly different facts that establish your worthlessness.”

The man in tweed takes a sip from his strawberry guava juice. “So.

That

was fun. I hope you all feel better for that group therapy session. Statistics tell me they are supposed to be great for morale.

“Now, I suppose you’re all wondering if I’m hiding Elmo behind a wall today.”

He takes out a little black remote with a button on it, and presses it. There is an explosion somewhere above your heads.

“Nope. And now he is definitely dead. By the way, he had no abilities that could help you here. I will return soon.”

Elmo, Townie, has been killed!

He was currently residing on the

Blue

Floor.

~

It is now

Day Four

. With

7

alive, it takes

4

to lynch and

4

to lock a floor. At eadline, it will take

3

to lynch. Deadline is October 29, 9:59 pm CDT.

Back-Up Floor

: Green

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Four Vote Count #1

1 – TDC (Battousai)

With

7

alive, it takes

4

to lynch, and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 29, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 6 – Debonair Danny DiPietro, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, SpyreX, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

0 – Blue
0 – Green
0 – Red
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 7 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, SpyreX, TDC

With

7

alive, it takes

4

to lock a floor.

Back-Up Floor

: Green.

[petroleumjelly]

Debonair Danny DiPietro has been prodded.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Four Vote Count #2

2 – TDC (Battousai, SpyreX)

With

7

alive, it takes

4

to lynch, and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 29, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 5 – Debonair Danny DiPietro, forbiddanlight, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

3 – Red (SpyreX, Goatrevolt, forbiddanlight)
0 – Blue
0 – Green
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 4 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, Lord Gurgi, TDC

With

7

alive, it takes

4

to lock a floor.

Back-Up Floor

: Green.

[petroleumjelly]

Official Day Four Vote Count #3, End of Day Four

4 – TDC (Battousai, SpyreX, Goatrevolt, Lord Gurgi)

With

7

alive, it takes

4

to lynch, and

3

to lynch at deadline. Deadline is October 29, 9:59 pm CDT.

Not Voting – 3 – Debonair Danny DiPietro, forbiddanlight, TDC

---

LOCK COUNT

4 – Red (SpyreX, Goatrevolt, forbiddanlight, Lord Gurgi)
0 – Blue
0 – Green
0 – Yellow

Not Locking – 3 – Battousai, Debonair Danny DiPietro, TDC

With

7

alive, it takes

4

to lock a floor.

The floor to be locked tonight is: RED.

~

The man in tweed seems to waltz from the elevator. There is a definite aura of elation about him.

“Wow, superb! This is by far the fastest you all have managed to come to a consensus. I am truly impressed.”

In his hands, he carries a copy if Simon, which he sets down on the table in front of TDC.

“It came to my attention last night that our time here has been woefully devoid if playing Simon. How I allowed for such an oversight is completely beyond me, but it is fact nevertheless. As such, I offer you a proposal. This particular Simon game had been modified to my liking. How it is modified, I will not yet reveal. However, I am going to give you a chance to leave this Hotel alive despite the town choosing you to die today. All you have to do is correctly memorize a sequence of 150 buttons. Starting now.”

The game suddenly springs to life, as the blue button lights up with its familiar musical note. TDC looks dumbstruck at first, but immediately presses the blue button in response. The game sits and thinks, and then lights up blue, then yellow. TDC follows suit.

As TDC becomes more and more involved, Mr. Wilson covertly gets the town to edge away from TDC under the pretense of “giving him some space.” He also subtly arranges the town to stand in particular places in the room, and cautions them to not make the tiniest sound to interrupt TDC’s game.

The game musically jingles along:

Blue, yellow, red, red, red, yellow, red, green, blue, blue, green, blue, green, blue, red, yellow, yellow, red, green, blue, red, yellow, green, blue, blue, red, yellow, yellow, blue.

TDC dutifully presses each button in the correct sequence.

The lights and sounds become faster and faster, but TDC amazingly manages to keep pace.

… green, green, yellow, red, blue, red, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, green, red, red, green, red, green, red, blue, blue, yellow, green, blue, yellow, green, blue, red, red…

It seems like the entire room is counting along each iteration. 74 buttons memorized… 75 memorized… 76 memorized…

Once TDC managed to get 80 in a row, the lights on the game suddenly shut off and and the game only announces the music for each button. TDC is not disturbed, and he continues to play. When the game hits 85 in a row, the lights turn back on but the music shuts off. TDC adapts.

At 90, the game seems to be back to normal, operating with both lights and music. But on the ninetieth button, a black light seems to emanate from under the Simon game board with a new cheery musical note. TDC looks somewhat confused as he follows the regular sequence, and when he gets to final note, he physically picks up the game and bounces it on his knee. The game accepts the response as Mr. Wilson smiles, and it begins iteration 91.

The ninety-first sequence starts with the black light, and proceeds to go backwards until reaching its original first note.

TDC makes it about twenty buttons in when suddenly there is a low-pitched:

BUZZZZZZZZZZT!

“Well, you certainly gave it your all, and for that I applaud you. But in the end, you failed. And so, you must die.”

The man in tweed shoots a bullet directly into TDC’s forehead, and TDC falls into the Simon board. The man in tweed then snaps his fingers. All the lights in the room flicker, and three shots ring out simultaneously.

Goatrevolt, Battousai, and Lord Gurgi are left standing in the room with Mr. Wilson.

“Well, congratulations. You have each now successfully survived through two of my Houses, and I daresay if any you would like to become part of my staff that would be quite all right with me. Now, let me show you to the front door…”

TDC, Townie, has been lynched!

He was currently residing on the

Green

floor.

• forbiddanlight, Town Bellhop is endgamed!
  He was currently residing on the
  Blue
  floor.
  
• Debonair Danny DiPietro, Townie, is endgamed!
  He was currently residing on the
  Green
  floor.
  
• SpyreX, Townie, is endgamed!
  He was currently residing no the
  Green
  floor.

The Mafia, Battousai (Bellhop), Lord Gurgi (Concierge), and Goatrevolt (Goon), Wins!

Congratulations! I will post roles and commentary when I have time, but I will probably try to fill in the latest missing scenes first.

Thank you for choosing me to be your /in-vitational moderator: I was very flattered to be asked to run this game, and I hope I lived up to your expectations. If I didn't, feel free to send your complaints to Mr. Wilson. I am sure he will deal with you accordingly. Alternatively, you might try complaining to my fantastic assistant, Mr. Flay, who I am positive will be just as willing to help you with your life's problems.

I hope you all enjoyed the mechanics, the flavor, and most importantly, your fellow players.

[petroleumjelly]

Town Roles

Town Bellhop

Having worked for me in the past, you know exactly how tight of a ship I run. You also have some knowledge about the technology in the Hotel. Each night, I will allow you to fiddle with the electric control panel in your room. Don’t worry, there is panel like this in every room of the Hotel, so you can take this action even if you are moved to another floor. Doing this will allow you to change the information in the Hotel computer such that it will order a guest to be transferred onto another floor the following morning. If you are successful, the guest will be sent the following PM:

When you wake up, a Servant hurriedly passes you a piece of paper with the instructions that from now on, you will be residing on the [Insert Color Here] Floor.

There are two exceptions, however. (1) If more than one person tries to move a particular guest to a new floor on the same night, the computer will disregard those commands, the guest will remain unmoved, and the guest will receive no notification that they were ever targeted. (2) If the guest would be moved to the same Floor they are already on, they will not be notified and will remain unmoved.

You will never be told outright if your actions are successful.

You may use your ability even if your Colored Floor is locked. If a guest is in a locked floor, they can still be targeted by this ability since (i) this ability does not require you to enter their room, and (ii) they will change Floors the next morning and not during the Night.

You win when all Mafia, Serial Killers, and Cultists are dead, and there is at least one member of the Town still alive.

You are on Colored Floor

XXX.

Confirm your role by PM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck, and have fun!

PJ

Mod Note: On

Green

floor.

Townie

You are a member of the Town. You are helpless and deserve to die. I will do my best to speed it along.

You win when all Mafia, Serial Killers, and Cultists are dead, and there is at least one member of the Town still alive.

You are on Colored Floor

XXX.

Confirm your role by PM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck, and have fun!

PJ

Mod Notes:
- Debonair Danny DiPietro on

Green

floor.
- Elmo on

Blue

floor.
- LlamaFluff on

Blue

floor.
- Nuwen on

Blue

floor.
- Patrick on

Blue

floor.
- SpyreX on

Blue

floor.
- TDC on

Green

floor.
- ZazieR on

Red

floor.

Mafia Roles

Mafia Bellhop

You are a member of the Mafia. Your partners are

XXX

(Goon) and

XXX

(Concierge). Each night, one member of the Mafia may send in a nightkill. Living members of the Mafia may talk amongst themselves each night of the game, including pre-game.

Having worked for me in the past, you know exactly how tight of a ship I run. You also have some knowledge about the technology in the Hotel. Each night, I will allow you to fiddle with the electric control panel in your room. Don’t worry, there is panel like this in every room of the Hotel, so you can take this action even if you are moved to another floor. Doing this will allow you to change the information in the Hotel computer such that it will order a guest to be transferred onto another floor the following morning. If you are successful, the guest will be sent the following PM:

When you wake up, a Servant hurriedly passes you a piece of paper with the instructions that from now on, you will be residing on the [Insert Color Here] Floor.

There are two exceptions, however. (1) If more than one person tries to move a particular guest to a new floor on the same night, the computer will disregard those commands, the guest will remain unmoved, and the guest will receive no notification that they were ever targeted. (2) If the guest would be moved to the same Floor they are already on, they will not be notified and will remain unmoved.

You will never be told outright if your actions are successful.

You may use your ability even if your Colored Floor is locked. If a guest is in a locked floor, they can still be targeted by this ability since (i) this ability does not require you to enter their room, and (ii) they will change Floors the next morning and not during the Night.

You cannot kill and use your Bellhop ability on the same night.

However, this does not prevent you from using your Bellhop ability and one of your partners from sending in a kill choice.

You win when the Mafia controls half of the town (with at least one member of the Mafia alive) or nothing can prevent the same.

You are on Colored Floor

XXX

.

Confirm your role by PM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck, and have fun!

PJ

Mod Note: On

Red

floor.

Mafia Goon

You are a member of the Mafia. Your partners are

XXX

(Concierge) and

XXX

(Bellhop). Each night, one member of the Mafia may send in a nightkill. Living members of the Mafia may talk amongst themselves each night of the game, including pre-game.

You win when the Mafia controls half of the town (with at least one member of the Mafia alive) or nothing can prevent the same.

You are on Colored Floor

XXX.

Confirm your role by PM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck, and have fun!

PJ

Mod Note: On

Red

floor.

Mafia Concierge

You are a member of the Mafia. Your partners are

XXX

(Goon) and

XXX

(Bellhop). Each night, one member of the Mafia may send in a nightkill. Living members of the Mafia may talk amongst themselves each night of the game, including pre-game.

In your possession is a very special key. If you insert it into the electric control panel in your room, you will be shown a list of the living guests in the Hotel. You may choose two of those guests, and those players will switch rooms, and hence floors. You will not be told what colors they were on to begin with, or what colors they end up on. If you are successful, each moved guest will receive the following PM:

When you wake up, a Servant hurriedly passes you a piece of paper with the instructions that from now on, you will be residing on the [Insert Color Here] Floor.

There are two exceptions, however. (1) If more than one person tries to move a particular guest to a new floor on the same night, the computer will disregard those commands, the guest will remain unmoved, and the guest will receive no notification that they were ever targeted. (2) If both guests would be moved to the same Floor they are already on, they will not be notified and will remain unmoved.

You will never be told outright if your actions are successful.

You may use your ability even if your Colored Floor is locked. If a guest is in a locked floor, they can still be targeted by this ability since (i) this ability does not require you to enter their room, and (2) they will change Floors the next morning and not during the Night.

You cannot kill and use your Concierge ability on the same night.

However, this does not prevent you from using your Concierge ability and one of your partners from sending in a kill choice.

You win when the Mafia controls half of the town (with at least one member of the Mafia alive) or nothing can prevent the same.

You are on Colored Floor

XXX.

Confirm your role by PM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck, and have fun!

PJ

Mod Note: On

Green

floor.

[petroleumjelly]

Night Actions

Day One

Random Back-Up Floor: Red
Lynch: ZazieR, Townie, Red Floor
Locked Floor: Green

Night One

forbiddanlight, Town Bellhop, moves [forbiddanlight] to [Green] floor (no effect)
Goatrevolt, Mafia Goon, kills Patrick (success)
Battousai, Mafia Bellhop, moves [Lord Gurgi] to [Yellow] floor (success)

Day Two

Random Back-Up Floor: Red
Lynch: Nuwen, Townie, Blue Floor
Locked Floor: Green

Night Two

forbiddanlight, Town Bellhop, moves [SpyreX] to [Green] floor (success)
Goatrevolt, Mafia Goon, kills Debonair Danny DiPietro (fail)

Day Three

Random Back-Up Floor: Blue
Lynch: LlamaFluff, Townie, Blue Floor
Locked Floor: Green

Night Three

forbiddanlight, Town Bellhop, moves [Elmo] to [Green] floor (no effect: see below)
Goatrevolt, Mafia Goon, kills Elmo (success)
Battousai, Mafia Bellhop, moves [forbiddanlight] to [Blue] floor (success)

Day Four

Random Back-Up Floor: Green
Lynch: TDC, Townie, Green Floor
Locked Floor: Red
Endgame

[petroleumjelly]

PJ Commentary

1.)

Despite how little effort probably comes across in my making this set-up, I actually spent more time making this set-up than most of my mini games I have run to date. I played with a good number of potential new roles and potential standard roles, but the more complicated my set-ups became under the mechanics of this game, the less I liked them.

In the end, the set-up comes down to the fact that the Floor-Locking mechanic is a giant Jailkeeper that only helps the Town and does absolutely squat to help the scum. Not only does a locked floor completely shield all townspeople on that floor for an entire night (acting as several doctor protections), but it also role-blocks all the scum on that floor.

I decided the most powerful way for the town to utilize the Floor-locking mechanic was simply to put the locked floors up to a vote (as opposed to Vaughn’s iteration of Simon, where a particular townsperson had the sole authority to decide which floor was locked each night). This way, a town is more likely to choose the floor that best helps them.

The Back-Up Floor concept was included to make sure that no matter what the town did, there would be a locked floor – so every night, even if there was a quicklynch and the town never decided what floor to lock, there was a chance that the Mafia nightkill could be blocked overnight.

2.)

With the following in mind, the game actually came down to trying to find ways to not completely screw over the mafia.

For example, in this particular randomized set-up, suppose on Day One the town had lynched Lord Gurgi (Mafia Concierge in Green) and locked Red (which held both Battousai the Mafia Bellhop and Goatrevolt the Mafia Goon). In that case, the Mafia would be a power role down and would be unable to kill on the first night of the game. In that situation, the Mafia would probably need to Bellhop Battousai or Goatrevolt to a different floor, while at the same time, forbiddanlight (Town Bellhop) would probably Bellhop herself to the Red floor.

It is insanely easy to imagine situations in this game where a mafia can be pretty devastated after just a day or two of playing, especially if they allow their power roles to be lynched. I do not think a 2-man mafia could have survived this set-up, because this set-up has a strong pro-town feature (the Floor-locking) that completely differentiates it from a standard 2:10 vanilla game. Not only that, but where a standard 10:2 vanilla game has a night-start, this game had a day-start (i.e. town gets more lynches).

Obviously I had contemplated the town strategy of locking the same Floor every night, with the Bellhop being on that Floor. I think a particularly disastrous thing that could have happened in this set-up, for example, would have been to lock the Blue Floor, while forbiddanlight (without having claimed) moves herself to the Blue Floor, and from that point, continues to (i) whisk others to the Blue floor, or (ii) targets herself to stay on the Blue floor. In that scenario, up to six town players (out of

nine

) are protected every night. The Mafia will only be able to Whisk people away at the same rate the Town can whisk them in.

Note:

The the Concierge does not really change the

numbers

of players on the Floors: only the players. The only way the Mafia can change that number of townspeople on a Floor with the Concierge is to swap a townsperson with a Mafiate. So for those who really think the Mafia had two roles to nullify the town's progress of whisking, I hope you keep this little tidbit in mind.

3.)

The town was not given traditional “power roles” precisely because the set-up inherently contemplates that one or more nightkill will be blocked through the course of the game. Even though the Mafia might

think

they have successfully moved some player onto an open floor, for example, such a movement would still

fail

if the Town Bellhop targeted that same person.

In essence, to compensate for a lack of power roles the town was considered to have been given an extra “lynch” because of the day-start + assumed missing nightkill. Usually in a 12-player game with 3 scum, the town can only afford to mislynch twice: in this set-up, the town can usually afford to mislynch three times. Furthermore, if the town plays well or gets lucky, and three kills are blocked during the course of the game (which is entirely feasible), the town can afford

four

mislynches.

Really, the town’s power exponentially increases every time a member of the Mafia is lynched. The game really only appears to favor the Mafia

so long as

the Mafia remains intact. Once a member is gone, their options become severely restricted very quickly (just like the last version of Simon Mafia). I think this is simply an innate feature of the Simon set-up.

To go one by one down the traditional power roles, though:

a.)

A Cop seemed inappropriate because (i) in the case that the Town could successfully cordon off a Mafiate, the Cop can investigate everybody in the game each night to both confirm innocents and to determine who is on a locked floor, and (ii) any innocents confirmed by the Cop are likely to be moved to whatever floor the town is locking.

b.)

A Doctor was just unnecessary and cruel, since the Town already has a giant Doctor role at their command.

c.)

The same reasoning as above applies to Role-Blockers.

d.)

A Vigilante was just plain inappropriate, as a successful vigging or two not only screws the mafia, but even a couple unsuccessful vigging will give the town additional collective kills in a set-up where the town already is assumed to get more attempts at killing the mafia than usual.

4.)

In retrospect, however, I think the game

may

have been better off with the same sole power role for the Town,

but

having the Mafia options being more restricted than having two separate power roles. I gave the Mafia two power roles with the thought that if one were lynched, then the Mafia would still be left fairly helpless and so there needed to be a Back-Up of some sort.

Options I considered (but which I may have been better off implementing) were:

a.)

Giving the Mafia a collective X-Shot movement to be used through individual Mafiates;

b.)

Giving the Mafia one power role, who, upon dying, has the power revert to a second Mafiate, who upon dying, has the power revert to the final Mafiate;

c.)

Allowing the Mafia an X-Shot bypass of locked floors.

I least liked Option C because I think the more proper mechanical theme is for a locked floor to be largely impenetrable.

Note

that an exception had to be made for the Bellhop / Concierge roles, because if they could not target players in locked floors, then a Mafia group who is stuck on a locked floor can literally do nothing and is completely at the mercy of the town. This was also way for the Town Bellhop to guarantee that they stay on a locked Floor forevermore, if they so chose.

I disliked Option B because it just felt too unwieldy and complicated for no particular reason. It simply did not strike me as an elegant solution.

Option A was

very nearly

used in this game, but in the end I decided that giving the Mafia specific power roles was most likely to result in connections in the thread (as the Mafia

definitely

has reasons to protect its power roles) than would a collective power. Presumably, this would make scum-hunting easier for the town since there was somewhat less incentive to buss the Mafia Bellhop and Mafia Concierge than the Mafia Goon.

5.)

Just as a note, everybody’s floor was completely randomized: I did not come in with the mindset of having a particular number of players on any particular floors. I was rather surprised to get a 5-4-3-0 configuration (I expected maybe a slight variant from 3-3-3-3), but I am not the type of mod who rerandomizes things just because the result is probably unanticipated by the players as well.

6.)

The flavor of this game derived from a very old short story I tried to write many moons ago (The Tale of Lucien Adley) about an eccentric man in a green suit who invited people into his home in order to get them to kill each other. Sadly, in the short story, I never got the point where people actually started killing each other. [That may have to be a NanoWrimo project for me, in fact.] Although I would not suggest reading it, chapters of the story can be found intermittently on deviantart, starting here. I wouldn't suggest that anybody actually go and read it, but since Patrick complained that my flavor was similar to MrBuddyLee's "Old Maid Mafia" (which I made a reference to in LlamaFluff's lynch), I thought I would point out that I had the idea first. It's mine, I tell you,

mine!

>.>
<.<

Strangely, when I was writing that story, I had never even heard of the game of mafia. However, the set-up here of inviting people to a Hotel was just

too

delicious for me, and I could not pass up the opportunity to play the part of Mr. Adley in this game. I had a considerable amount of fun writing up the scenes for this game (although I did cringe when writing the scene where I forced the Town into killing Nuwen), and I hope it was enjoyable to read as well.

7.)

Again, thank you to all of the players. I actually take pride in the fact that Town is complaining the set-up favored the mafia while the mafia is complaining that the set-up favors the town. I take that as a sign that set-up was, in fact, well-balanced. I think the best set-ups

seem hard to both sides

. I do not like making set-ups "easy" and I am very pleased that both sides felt the pressures of the game.

Thanks again to Mr. Flay, who was fantastic in keeping the game running smoothly and even stuck to the flavor! <3 Although he gave me an Excel sheet thingy to keep track of post frequency and such, I am completely inept and hence unable to supply you with that information.