DEFCON Mafia 4.0 - СЛАВА РОССИИ МАТЕРИ


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Post Post #1011 (isolation #0) » Thu Nov 17, 2016 9:05 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

All right who didn't vote for total war????
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Post Post #1017 (isolation #1) » Thu Nov 17, 2016 9:26 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1013, MagnaofIllusion wrote:
In post 1011, Vaxkiller wrote:All right who didn't vote for total war????
Reck. What are you going to do about it?
Make a post about it.

Then start reading what I missed.

Did I actually miss anything tho?
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Post Post #1060 (isolation #2) » Fri Nov 18, 2016 2:30 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

I made the short list!

Oh.

I'm slowly reading through, but im not very far, and its going to take a long while. TBH I usually find it more useful to just jump in and start reading a few individuals iso's that ping me as scummmy. Reading mastina now!
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Post Post #1062 (isolation #3) » Fri Nov 18, 2016 2:53 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1061, Something_Smart wrote:I love how Ircher's read on me is just "he's scum because the things he did are indicative of scum."
Uhhh your reading one sentence of it. He listed other reasons. Misrep much?
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Post Post #1116 (isolation #4) » Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:30 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1050, Ircher wrote:Something_Smart (-89%) - Post #26 really pinged as the scum thing to do. Yes, it's a self-meta statement, but also the fact that he justs plans to sheep whoever and not try to solve the game is even more indicative of scum. His posts in pages 16-20 continue to be bad and indicative of scum. Needs rope. Considering the possibility that this is a weaker player, but Smart seems to be above the "Newbie-feel" and more on par with prob. my own skill in mafia.
He is saying you are just going the sheep all your votes. SO it was a bit of a mis-rep from you.

That said he doesn't list anything about the rest of your activity, which is pretty good in my opinion (just read your iso)

You are both a little suspicious.
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Post Post #1118 (isolation #5) » Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:33 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1096, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:VAXKILLER

I have 2 questions.

1. Did you read the setup before you /in to replace and/or before agreeing to replace in?
2. If you had to take a totally random guess how long (in pages) do you think the scum pt was when you replaced in?

1. I read the "general" setup when the mod asked if there was interest in a Defcon 4. Then I missed the signups, but signed up as a replacement, and read the setup for the game.

2. 2 pages

Am I right?
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Post Post #1123 (isolation #6) » Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:38 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Can I use this?
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Post Post #1147 (isolation #7) » Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:44 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1129, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:How much of the thread (in terms of pages) did you read before posting your first post?

0

I skimmed the mods iso looking to see why we didn't go to total war. That was it.
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Post Post #1163 (isolation #8) » Fri Nov 18, 2016 8:45 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1157, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Hmm why is your first question then asking whose fault it was we didn't go to war if you already know via ISOing the mid?

And one last question I promise:

On a scale of 1-10 how excited were you right after opening your role pm and reading it?
Last 2 questions you mean?

1. I was skimming and I saw most of the posts said "not voting: everyonelse". So I saw posts like but missed

You caught me. Biggest scum tell in the books

2. I was going to accuse of rolefishing, but then this game doesn't start with those traditional roles.

Is this a mafia related 1-10 scale (like 1 being the least excited in opening a role and 10 being most excited opening my role?) or a life scale (1 being falling out of a tree and breaking 5 bones in my foot and 10 being the birth of my little one)?

They would be 6 and 5 respectively.
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Post Post #1240 (isolation #9) » Sat Nov 19, 2016 3:00 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1204, mastina wrote:
In post 1059, Accountant wrote:Vaxkiller have made two posts, both of them NAI.
And therein lies your problem.

There were some definitive alignment clues in Vaxkiller's posts.

These clues were not, mind you, particularly solid! He's on the shortlist. Not on the scumlist. What was there was indicative of scum, but not strongly enough to BE scum, not off of just two posts anyway.
What other kinds of lists do you have?
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Post Post #1241 (isolation #10) » Sat Nov 19, 2016 3:02 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1181, GuyInFreezer wrote:Vax is also town.
This is also 100% gutread from his ISO in general.
^ This guy knows how to play mafia ^
In post 1188, MagnaofIllusion wrote:
In post 1184, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Okay.

We can lynch Vaxkiller Day1.

Thanks.
Vaxkiller flips Commie scum and I hearby label their whole exchange the most painfully awkward bus / distancing ever ...
Besides being weird, I just realized how this must look to some people!
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Post Post #1246 (isolation #11) » Sat Nov 19, 2016 4:57 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Hands paper note bac to accountant with "no" circled
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Post Post #1440 (isolation #12) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 8:24 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1279, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:He claimed he didn't know who didn't vote for not war.

He pointed to reading "posts like 505" and "not 559", and made his first post:
In post 1011, Vaxkiller wrote:All right who didn't vote for total war????
Meanfuckingwhile

POST 505 SHOW WHO IS NOT VOTING FOR WAR.

At no point in the mod's ISO should Vaxkiller get the info we are not going to war WITHOUT also getting the info of "who didn't vote for total war????".
In post 1224, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:My theory is Vaxkiller found out we didn't go to war from the scum PT.
^ This guy know show to mafia too!
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Post Post #1442 (isolation #13) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 8:31 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

LLD, no offense, but do you actually like playing mafia? I ask because I only see you yelling at people in most games. This is a game where you have to work with people, yes sometimes tensions can get high when people don't see things from your point of view, but its not the end of the world.
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Post Post #1458 (isolation #14) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:29 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Not sure why anyone thinks ircher is scum, I like his posts so far. Also like guy in freezer, even tho his town post on my was weird.

Ser Arthur Dayne likely scum for coming up with the weirdest excuse for someone being scum ever.

VOTE: Ser Arthur Dayne
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Post Post #1496 (isolation #15) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 3:24 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1475, Cheetory6 wrote:
In post 1458, Vaxkiller wrote:Also like guy in freezer, even tho his town post on my was weird.
Hi Vax.
Give me like a bunch of words on this.

Also give me a nice little summary of your interactions with SAD from your perspective.
Here's a super interesting rule though: Don't mention
REDACTED
a single time in your summary!
Thanks!
Well, I had less than 15 posts, and just joined the game with little analysis or perspective. So it was weird to get a town read from someone I'm not familiar with on the site. So it was weird. It falls under the category of suspicious. That said I went through his iso's already when I made that post and I could not find anything else suspicious.

SAD seems to be employing the strategy of hiding the in open. Hes the most verbose (post wise) in the game so far. He has alot to say, but most of its rubbish to me. You can only hide the in the spotlight for so long tho and you need to shine that spotlight on someone else. Who else better then an unknown just entering the game that is not giving any reads or opinions at the moment. Ask them stupid questions, then find a "lie". Here is that lie:

Spoiler:
In post 1277, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:GUYS

WTF
In post 1163, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1157, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Hmm why is your first question then asking whose fault it was we didn't go to war if you already know via ISOing the mid?
1. I was skimming and I saw most of the posts said "not voting: everyonelse". So I saw posts like but missed
THIS GUY JUST LIED ON THREAD

AND NO ONE

GIVING HIM SHIT ABOUT IT

IS THIS REAL LIFE


I find his actions highly questionable an odd.
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Post Post #1497 (isolation #16) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 3:28 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1495, Ircher wrote:Can someone explain the Vax case/point me to it?
Im going to take a guess here:

Because newbies are lynch-bait. Veteran players think they know exactly when another vet is scum and think they always have them pegged. So when wagon gets started on a newbie player no one can be blamed for not knowing they were not scum because of this crappy play style.

Hence why I think SAD is scum trying to get me lynched for crappy reasoning.

It's still pretty early tho, im confident people will see through is ruse.
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Post Post #1504 (isolation #17) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 3:56 pm

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Didn't really know what his point was. Toward the end it seemed like he was going to keep asking questions until he could fabricate something.

Trying to shine the spot light on something so inconsequential seemed scummy to me. I'm rather surprised everyone mostly ignored his post about finding me as scum, but a few people were happy to just sheep for reasons that didn't know.
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Post Post #1522 (isolation #18) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:10 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1503, Accountant wrote:
Ask them stupid questions, then find a "lie".
You have to explain why it isn't actually a lie before you get to put the word in quotation marks.
It was my first post and it was meant as an off hand remark.

It's like asking someone how the weather is, knowing a little about the weather anyway.

I skimmed the mods posts, saw total war didn't make it and said:
In post 1011, Vaxkiller wrote:All right who didn't vote for total war????
If I would have just said
"Why didn't we all want total war"
or
"All right who wouldn't vote for total war?"

we wouldn't be having this conversation.
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Post Post #1540 (isolation #19) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:17 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

@SAD

Do you have a Dayvig or secret info about the game?
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Post Post #1548 (isolation #20) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:20 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1544, Papa Zito wrote:
In post 1540, Vaxkiller wrote:@SAD

Do you have a Dayvig or secret info about the game?
what the laffo
Theres a point.. since hes not posting im sure he gets it.
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Post Post #1566 (isolation #21) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:28 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Here is my first post as a replacement in the only scum game I've played through.
http://forum.mafiascum.net/viewtopic.ph ... 7#p8439087
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Post Post #1581 (isolation #22) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:34 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1565, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:
In post 1548, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1544, Papa Zito wrote:
In post 1540, Vaxkiller wrote:@SAD

Do you have a Dayvig or secret info about the game?
what the laffo
Theres a point.. since hes not posting im sure he gets it.
No I'm just appalled at the role fishing tactic you're trying pull before you go down, to check if I got a role or not.
Fine. Your not going to answer. Here is my point. If my post is a "lie" then we need to lynch you for lying as well. Here are your first and third posts:
In post 302, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Hi.

I got a pm with top secret classified information I was just wondering if it was okay to set up my own private server for further correspondence???
In post 307, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:
In post 26, Something_Smart wrote:oh hey I finally rolled town in a large :P
but now I have 23 slots to sort... :shifty:
I'll probably just sheep people who are actually good. (Which is like, everybody. Except me. :roll: )
I'm dayvigging the shit out of you.
BTW SAD You know you could have taken a way better angle to try and frame me, you could have said I was afraid to take a stance on anything and was unsure what to post about so I just posted that fluff and answered your questions in hopes to appear town to you, but you took this weird angle instead.
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Post Post #1637 (isolation #23) » Sun Nov 20, 2016 5:13 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1607, Papa Zito wrote:Hang on Reck that's definitely a thing I've been thinking about but I need a Vax post.
What do you need, im trying to head to bed...
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Post Post #1686 (isolation #24) » Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:06 am

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My join date is about a year off of when I actually started. (I singed up decided I did not have time at the moment and then picked it up later.

The "lie" that SAD caught me in was that my first post asked who voted against total war, although I skimmed through the mods iso's and saw that some players didn't vote for total war. As tripod said, where the fuck is the scum motivation in that? What was my grand plan?
or
Is it more likely that SAD is blowing this WAYYY out of proportion, trying to get people riled up (or sheep votes) so when I flip town he can just say "Oh, well Vaxkiller was playing awful, how was little old me to know? We all voted him, were all guilty, don't look at me!"
In post 1680, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:So to go from this to "Idk why people are voting me at all", "SAD is scum because he's attacking a poor newbie like me ", and "You lied too because you joked about dayvigging someone before roles were distributed!" doesn't fit in at all.
I still don't know why. I thought people would see through your silliness, but they are not, so I need to show them why you are a silly goose, and show your lies as well.
To be fair, I'm only providing your lies as a counter point to mine, I really do not believe you are scum from them. You are scum because of your over-the-top push on me for something so silly.

In post 1639, Papa Zito wrote:
In post 1637, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1607, Papa Zito wrote:Hang on Reck that's definitely a thing I've been thinking about but I need a Vax post.
What do you need, im trying to head to bed...
Explain the game to me.
3 factions town - mafia - and 1 terrorist. Everyone starts the game vanilla but can try for troops or if they do not want troops or can't get them, they can have a nuke silo. Defcon 3-1 scum-terrorists become more powerful. Defcon 1 everyone that has nukes can use nukes. Also at the beginning of 3 every ones troops or nuke were deployed.
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Post Post #1690 (isolation #25) » Mon Nov 21, 2016 4:26 am

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In post 1465, mastina wrote:No Espionage. No Battleship. No Eavesdrop. No Aircraft Carrier. No Air Base. No Radar. No Dead Hand (my name for the failsafe). No Submarine. No Covert Ops Team. No Strategic Missile Defense. No Fighter. No Fallout Shelter. No Counterintelligence.
Is this the order in which you asked?
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Post Post #1693 (isolation #26) » Mon Nov 21, 2016 4:46 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1691, Cephrir wrote:is there any point to that question at all

i would say "rolefishing before you die" but it's not even useful rolefishing

she also already answered that question
Your so blinded by the thought of scum!Vaxkiller you don't even bother to think of a town!Vaxkiller's motivation.

If they said they asked for something pretty early in their list, but I received that same something, but I asked for it much later in my list, would you say there is a chance that person is lying? (Not definite, and the accuracy of such a claim would depend greatly on how far apart the said item was on each list)

I skimmed through their iso, but I didn't see that they said this was the order. Do you know the answer?

In b4 SAD calls me a liar for skimming mastinas iso and not seeing said information.
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Post Post #1697 (isolation #27) » Mon Nov 21, 2016 5:03 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1692, MagnaofIllusion wrote:Vax has done nothing this game that warrants remaining alive and some of his posts are so ridiculously bad (1540 is the top spot) that him eating rope is a great plan.
Nice misrep. I like how you reference the beginning post instead of how it ended:

Spoiler:
In post 1581, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1565, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:
In post 1548, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1544, Papa Zito wrote:
In post 1540, Vaxkiller wrote:@SAD

Do you have a Dayvig or secret info about the game?
what the laffo
Theres a point.. since hes not posting im sure he gets it.
No I'm just appalled at the role fishing tactic you're trying pull before you go down, to check if I got a role or not.
Fine. Your not going to answer. Here is my point. If my post is a "lie" then we need to lynch you for lying as well. Here are your first and third posts:
In post 302, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Hi.

I got a pm with top secret classified information I was just wondering if it was okay to set up my own private server for further correspondence???
In post 307, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:
In post 26, Something_Smart wrote:oh hey I finally rolled town in a large :P
but now I have 23 slots to sort... :shifty:
I'll probably just sheep people who are actually good. (Which is like, everybody. Except me. :roll: )
I'm dayvigging the shit out of you.
BTW SAD You know you could have taken a way better angle to try and frame me, you could have said I was afraid to take a stance on anything and was unsure what to post about so I just posted that fluff and answered your questions in hopes to appear town to you, but you took this weird angle instead.
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Post Post #1720 (isolation #28) » Mon Nov 21, 2016 6:43 am

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In post 1718, MagnaofIllusion wrote:The point – you missed. I don’t care where “it ended” because it was massively bad post. There is no “secret information” and SAD couldn’t possibly have his role at the point he made those posts. This is an open game. Period. The fact that you are scrambling so hard to find “lies” by SAD (which were clearly just dumb posts) to undermine the wagon on you and coming up with garbage means you are a great lynch today.
I did not miss the point.
In post 1686, Vaxkiller wrote:To be fair, I'm only providing your lies as a counter point to mine, I really do not believe you are scum from them. You are scum because of your over-the-top push on me for something so silly.
I'm trying to show that the "lie" in question is completely meaningless and inconsequential by comparing it to similar things he has said.

Of course there is no secret information, of course he doesn't have a day vig, but it is as much as a lie as me saying "So who didnt vote for total war" when I had already skimmed through the mods iso.
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Post Post #1731 (isolation #29) » Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:00 am

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In post 1728, MagnaofIllusion wrote:Still I want clarification from mastin on the top two choices regardless.
I would prefer the entire list he gave in order, its not that hard of a request.
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Post Post #1960 (isolation #30) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:13 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1933, Something_Smart wrote:everything he said about me is awful and sounds faked.
What is so "fake" about anything I have said?
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Post Post #1962 (isolation #31) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:14 am

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In post 1908, MagnaofIllusion wrote:At this stage lack of Vaxkiller votes are holding up advancement to Defcon 1 and glorious flying Nukes. Let’s get on this people.
^Wants his miss-lynch to not appear scum-motivated^
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Post Post #1965 (isolation #32) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:19 am

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In post 1908, MagnaofIllusion wrote:Why don’t you think SAD and Vax didn’t plan this in the scum PT?
You really think SAD seems like the type of person to trust an unknown player like me to scum read each other and try to get the other lynched? This really seems like the most likely option to you, some weird associative tell?
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Post Post #1966 (isolation #33) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:20 am

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In post 1964, Something_Smart wrote:
In post 1960, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1933, Something_Smart wrote:everything he said about me is awful and sounds faked.
What is so "fake" about anything I have said?
dude there's a votecount literally at the top of the page
I ask for what was fake, and you point to a vote count. No provide details.
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Post Post #1969 (isolation #34) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:21 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1963, Cheetory6 wrote:You being like "every person with any level of rhetoric pushing me is scum" is bad.
Where did I say this? There are 10 people voting me and I think most of them are sheep.
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Post Post #1972 (isolation #35) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:23 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1964, Something_Smart wrote:
In post 1960, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1933, Something_Smart wrote:everything he said about me is awful and sounds faked.
What is so "fake" about anything I have said?
dude there's a votecount literally at the top of the page
rofl. I saw a post of someone saying I was paranoid. I was like "I'm not paranoid". Now I just proved my self wrong.
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Post Post #1974 (isolation #36) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:30 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 1973, Cephrir wrote:ss is just scum isn't he
Naw, just some of his posts rub me the wrong way
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Post Post #1980 (isolation #37) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:38 am

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In post 1978, Cephrir wrote:can we lynch this or is our collective nuke boner too powerful
lynch what? I don't want to assume you are talking about me so you have to make a post about it.
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Post Post #1986 (isolation #38) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:03 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

@spiffeh

Likely sheep that just want to get to the fun stuff (Defcon 1).

I like Magna's earlier posts but ever since he put forth he theory of Vax/SAD scum, he has been pretty meh. (I know i know, hes scum reading you so you scum read them)

I didn't like this post by Mastina:
In post 1465, mastina wrote:What the hell.

I very specifically put in literally EVERY troop, in an order of most to least.
Given how many troops there were, I shoulda gotten at least ONE of them, especially since I figured...well.
Yaknow.

You'd be a bunch of nuke-happy gun-toting 'MURICANS.

Apparently not!

No Espionage. No Battleship. No Eavesdrop. No Aircraft Carrier. No Air Base. No Radar. No Dead Hand (my name for the failsafe). No Submarine. No Covert Ops Team. No Strategic Missile Defense. No Fighter. No Fallout Shelter. No Counterintelligence.

Literally EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Of them got picked. By someone in the game.
Because if so much as ONE of them had been left unpicked, I should have gotten something!
She took her good old time responding to requests asking for the specific order (which it already was) and I have no complaints about that now. But the above post still reads like "look guys I really tried to get town things" when in this game it would have been perfectly acceptable for town to just go for the nuke.

Ircher/Cheetory/Gif likely town
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Post Post #1994 (isolation #39) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 8:11 am

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In post 1988, Something_Smart wrote:two things:
1. "good old time" = 18 minutes?
2. "perfectly acceptable for town to just go for the nuke" implies "unacceptable for town to not go for the nuke"?
1. Where does 18 min come from?
In post 1690, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 1465, mastina wrote:No Espionage. No Battleship. No Eavesdrop. No Aircraft Carrier. No Air Base. No Radar. No Dead Hand (my name for the failsafe). No Submarine. No Covert Ops Team. No Strategic Missile Defense. No Fighter. No Fallout Shelter. No Counterintelligence.
Is this the order in which you asked?
In post 1798, mastina wrote:
In post 1690, Vaxkiller wrote:Is this the order in which you asked?
Explicitly so, yes, exactly as I fucking said. Cop and Doc are top picks for obvious reasons. Eavesdrop is conditional on luck and on successfully interpreting messages in topics. Scum know about it and are going to try and mask their posting style as if in an alt, but I thought I'd still be able to get good info because scum can't control WHAT leaks. Roleblocker is conditional on blocking scum: powerful, but no cop. Airbase is basically a super-bulletproof. I didn't see myself as a realistic nightkill, but there was always the possibility. Tracker is about as useful as a roleblocker under normal circumstances: its strength is conditional, and not quite as useful to me as in a normal game because it cannot see nightkills, thus its lowered priority. The fucking dead hand is a vengekill/bomb hybrid.

Below that point was the zero fucks given point. Submarine is just a silent nuke, so why bother with it when a missile silo does exactly the same thing? Covert Ops Team is a roleblock for missile silos: useless. Strategic Missile Defense is a roleblock for nukes specifically: even more useless. Fighter just tells you if someone has troops or not. I thought useless, though APPARENTLY since all the troops are in play, not so much. Fallout shelter makes me nuke immune. Why would I want that when I was literally asking to be nuked? Counterintelligence is a tailor power: zero town usage.
2. I should have explained this better. Mastinas post to me implies she thought it would be kind of scummy to not go for troops first, so she listed them all. I cannot verify the validity of her requests, but its seems like a "look at me, im town" post.
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Post Post #1996 (isolation #40) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 8:22 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

I was really hoping people would stop sheeping me but now I think I should just fucking claim so you guys can stop wasting time.
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Post Post #2001 (isolation #41) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 8:35 am

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I got eavesdropper. I asked for it 2nd. Here is my request list in order. espionage, eavesdrop, sub, strat missle defense, missle silo

Here is waht I have overheard:

please dont piss people off or you will be nuked until you glow

who should be applauded

xavier frank tom laura
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Post Post #2039 (isolation #42) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:42 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2008, RedCoyote wrote:Vax, is that the exact syntax of the messages you received? If not, please give it to us exactly.

---
Lady Lambdadelta wrote:
In post 2005, RedCoyote wrote:UNVOTE: Vaxkiller for now as I want to hear from LLD.
Regarding?
Vax's claim.
Sorry, I was typing rather fast and missed a few ' and contractions. I am allowed to copy word for word. Here is EXACT word for word:

please don't piss people off or you'll be nuked until you glow

who should be applauded

xavier frank tom laura

Each of those 3 are different posts. The eavesdrop ability doesn't say it gives partial msg's, but the last 2 I received are certainly odd.
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Post Post #2043 (isolation #43) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:50 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2030, GuyInFreezer wrote:
In post 1669, GreyICE wrote:GIF is some pretty damn cheeky scum in a game where most of everyone has nukes. Would be SHOCKED if the scum QT didn't have something like "please don't piss people off or you'll be nuked until you glow". So either he told his scum team to suck his dick, or he's just asshole town.
That has to be a setup, right?
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Post Post #2051 (isolation #44) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:19 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2002, Cheetory6 wrote:
In post 2001, Vaxkiller wrote:espionage, eavesdrop, sub, strat missle defense, missle silo
Why for all these picks.
Especially the first two.
Really? Why these picks?

Espionage - To find scum, I figured I would try to get this for my 1st pick
Eavesdrop - To hear scum I thought given my first pick didnt go though I may have a chance at this.
Submarine - It was a long shot, but why not try for it. Its possible no one else even tried for it. I could nuke a scum (hopefully) unaware so they could not prevent it.
Strategic Missile Defense - I was debating this one alot, my fear was I would prevent a nuke from hitting its target (thinking the target was town) but only to find out after the game they were scum. I could really see my self doing this. Ultimately I figured later in the game we would have some people cleared, soit would be safe to use then. I didn't think this would be high up on anyone's list so it was worthwhile putting down.
Missle Silo - Really why I wanted to play the game in the first place. To nuke the crap outta someone. I know I did not need to put this on the list to have it selected, but it just felt right.
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Post Post #2053 (isolation #45) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:27 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2052, Cheetory6 wrote:
In post 2051, Vaxkiller wrote:To find scum, I figured I would try to get this for my 1st pick
How would this find scum.
Are you for real? Target a player and choose a faction you are not aligned with? It reveals whether the player is of that faction or not?

You are asking how this finds scum?
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Post Post #2127 (isolation #46) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 2:01 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2069, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:If we let this go what's stopping us from letting anyone who roleclaims go :neutral:

There's 13 roles obv scum got some...

Pedit:@Ceph
Thats a bold scum move there SAD
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Post Post #2130 (isolation #47) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 2:12 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

I'm not caught up, but I want to post eavesdrop as it comes in:

peggy: maybe
alice
?
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Post Post #2209 (isolation #48) » Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:21 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Woke up in the middle of the night, figured I would check to see if there are any messages. I just received 4 of them.... They are basically a walls of text, copy pasted from research on nuclear weapons. If anyone ACTUALLY SEES VALUE in copying that shit word for word I'll argue with you first then MAYBE copy one.
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Post Post #2216 (isolation #49) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:09 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Spyrex doesn't even care if im scum or not, he wants me dead, lol.
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Post Post #2217 (isolation #50) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:13 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Hiplop? Did you draw scum? Are you having to much fun over there trolling the scum chat?
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Post Post #2222 (isolation #51) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 3:01 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Lets try this:

VOTE: Spyrex
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Post Post #2242 (isolation #52) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 4:13 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

So a few people are basically saying "Well he prolly isnt scum, but lets lynch anyway.

WHY?

WHY waste a lynch on someone who you admittedly think is not scum, when there is PLENTY of time to find someone actually scummmy? This anti-town behavior boggles me, in any other game besides this one (where everyone else just wants to use thier nukes) these actions would be considered scummy.
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Post Post #2244 (isolation #53) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 4:20 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2243, Cephrir wrote:because nukes are fun and it's not like youre making endgame anyways
So you would rather town waste a lynch on someone scum is going to kill? So scum can have another kill?
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Post Post #2246 (isolation #54) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 4:27 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Ugh is that all you want is just to get to the end game?
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Post Post #2247 (isolation #55) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 4:28 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2246, Vaxkiller wrote:Ugh is that all you want is just to get to the end game?
By end game I mean Defcon 1
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Post Post #2281 (isolation #56) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 6:57 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

dt ellipsis
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Post Post #2308 (isolation #57) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:12 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

If its worthwhile I will continue to provide anything I overhear (including gibberish) but the last 4 posts have been copy-pasta from some universe review website in Canada. SO on top of heinous war crimes, the commies have also committed high plagiarism. Not sure if I can link the site, but ill copy word for word the first sentence and you can google that and read the rest. (and yes for some reason the first overheard post STARTS exactly like I have provided below)


distances. Third, the nuclear explosion is accompanied by highly penetrating
and harmful invisible rays called the "initial nuclear
radiation."

@LLD not sure if your scum laughing it up in the scum chat, and then got mad that I didn't transcribe the portion that made it through, or just and evil evil person who delights in wanting to see me copy word for word the useless shit they sent last.
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Post Post #2314 (isolation #58) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:35 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

I had to clear up they way I could pass along this info, now it is cleared up and here you go LLD
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Post Post #2315 (isolation #59) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:36 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

distances. Third, the nuclear explosion is accompanied by highlypenetrating
and harmful invisible rays, called the "initial nuclear
radiation." Finally, the substances remaining after a nuclear explosion
are radioactive, emitting similar radiations over an extended
period of time. This is known as the "residual nuclear radiation"
or "residual radioactivity" (Fig. 1.02).
1.03 It is because of these fundamental differences between a
nuclear and a conventional explosion, including the tremendously
greater power of the former, that the effects of nuclear weapons
require special consideration. In this connection, a knowledge and
understanding of the mechanical and the various radiation phenomena
associated with a nuclear explosion are of vital importance.
1.04 The purpose of this book is to describe the different forms
in which the enei'gy of a nuclear explosion are released, to explain
how they are propagated, and to show how they may affect men and
materials. Where numerical values are given for specific observed
effects, it should be kept in mind that there are inevitable uncertainties
associated with the data, for at least two reasons. In the first place,
there are inherent difficulties in making exact measurements of
weapons effects. The results are often dependent on circumstances
which are difficult, if not impossible, to control, even in a test and
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Post Post #2317 (isolation #60) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:37 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

1.29 Almost immediately after a nuclear explosion, the weapon
residues incorporate material from the surrounding medium and form
an intensely hot and luminous mass, roughly spherical in shape, called
the "fireball." An "air burst" is defined as one in which the weapon
is exploded in the air at an altitude below 100,000 feet, but at such a
height that the fireball (at roughly maximum brilliance in its later
stages) does not touch the surface of the earth. For example, in the
explosion of a 1-megaton weapon the fireball may grow until it is
nearly 5,800 feet (1.1 mile) across at maximum brilliance. This
means that, in this particular case, the explosion must occur at least
2,900 feet above the earth's surface if it is to be called an air burst.
1.30 The quantitative aspects of an air burst will be dependent
upon the actual height of the explosion, as well as upon its energy
yield, but the general phenomena are much the same in all cases.
Nearly all of the shock energy appears as air blast, although some is
generally also transmitted into the ground. The thermal radiation
will travel large distances through the air and will be of sufficient
intensity to cause moderately severe burns of exposed skin as far away
as 12 miles from a 1-megaton explosion, on a fairly clear day. The
warmth may be felt at a distance of 75 miles. For air bursts of higher
energy yields, the corresponding distances will, of course, be greater.
Since the thermal radiation is largely stopped by ordinary opaque
materials, buildings and clothing can provide protection.
1.31 The initial nuclear radiations from an air burst will also penetrate
a long way in air, although the intensity falls off fairly rapidly
at increasing distances from the explosion. The nuclear radiations
are not easily absorbed, and fairly thick layers of materials, preferably
of high density, are needed to reduce their intensity to harmless proportions.
For example, at a distance of 1 mile from the air burst of a
1-megaton nuclear weapon, an individual would probably need the
protection of about 1 foot of steel or 4 feet of concrete to be relatively
safe from the efl'ects of the initial nuclear radiations. However, at
this distance the blast effect would be so great that only specially
designed blast-resistant structures would survive.
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Post Post #2321 (isolation #61) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:44 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

@LLD
Is there anything else your highness wants

I sperated each overheard post with a:
________________________________

Spoiler:
please don't piss people off or you'll be nuked until you glow

_________________________________________________________

who should be applauded

________________________________________________________

xavier frank tom laura

________________________________________________________

peggy: maybe
alice
?

________________________________________________________

distances. Third, the nuclear explosion is accompanied by highlypenetrating
and harmful invisible rays, called the "initial nuclear
radiation." Finally, the substances remaining after a nuclear explosion
are radioactive, emitting similar radiations over an extended
period of time. This is known as the "residual nuclear radiation"
or "residual radioactivity" (Fig. 1.02).
1.03 It is because of these fundamental differences between a
nuclear and a conventional explosion, including the tremendously
greater power of the former, that the effects of nuclear weapons
require special consideration. In this connection, a knowledge and
understanding of the mechanical and the various radiation phenomena
associated with a nuclear explosion are of vital importance.
1.04 The purpose of this book is to describe the different forms
in which the enei'gy of a nuclear explosion are released, to explain
how they are propagated, and to show how they may affect men and
materials. Where numerical values are given for specific observed
effects, it should be kept in mind that there are inevitable uncertainties
associated with the data, for at least two reasons. In the first place,
there are inherent difficulties in making exact measurements of
weapons effects. The results are often dependent on circumstances
which are difficult, if not impossible, to control, even in a test and

________________________________________________________________

1.29 Almost immediately after a nuclear explosion, the weapon
residues incorporate material from the surrounding medium and form
an intensely hot and luminous mass, roughly spherical in shape, called
the "fireball." An "air burst" is defined as one in which the weapon
is exploded in the air at an altitude below 100,000 feet, but at such a
height that the fireball (at roughly maximum brilliance in its later
stages) does not touch the surface of the earth. For example, in the
explosion of a 1-megaton weapon the fireball may grow until it is
nearly 5,800 feet (1.1 mile) across at maximum brilliance. This
means that, in this particular case, the explosion must occur at least
2,900 feet above the earth's surface if it is to be called an air burst.
1.30 The quantitative aspects of an air burst will be dependent
upon the actual height of the explosion, as well as upon its energy
yield, but the general phenomena are much the same in all cases.
Nearly all of the shock energy appears as air blast, although some is
generally also transmitted into the ground. The thermal radiation
will travel large distances through the air and will be of sufficient
intensity to cause moderately severe burns of exposed skin as far away
as 12 miles from a 1-megaton explosion, on a fairly clear day. The
warmth may be felt at a distance of 75 miles. For air bursts of higher
energy yields, the corresponding distances will, of course, be greater.
Since the thermal radiation is largely stopped by ordinary opaque
materials, buildings and clothing can provide protection.
1.31 The initial nuclear radiations from an air burst will also penetrate
a long way in air, although the intensity falls off fairly rapidly
at increasing distances from the explosion. The nuclear radiations
are not easily absorbed, and fairly thick layers of materials, preferably
of high density, are needed to reduce their intensity to harmless proportions.
For example, at a distance of 1 mile from the air burst of a
1-megaton nuclear weapon, an individual would probably need the
protection of about 1 foot of steel or 4 feet of concrete to be relatively
safe from the efl'ects of the initial nuclear radiations. However, at
this distance the blast effect would be so great that only specially
designed blast-resistant structures would survive.

____________________________________________________________________

4.01 The phenomena associated with a blast wave in air have
been treated in the preceding chapter. On the basis of the information
developed, consideration will now be given to the interaction
of the air blast with a target and the factors affecting the response
of the target. Criteria of damage to targets of different types will
be discussed and relationships given between the damage and the
distances over which such damage may be expected from nuclear
weapons of various yields. In addition, quantitative methods of
computing structural loads and their duration will be outlined.
4.02 The general conclusions concerning the expected effects of
nuclear explosions on various targets are summarized in the form of
nomographs (Figs. 4.58 a and b). These are based on a combination
of theoretical analysis with data obtained from actual nuclear explosions,
both in Japan and at various tests, as well as from laboratory
studies. However, the nature of any target complex, especially a
city, is such that no exact prediction of the eft'ect of blast on structures
can be made. Nor is it possible to indicate the reliability of the
prediction for any particular situation. Nevertheless, by the application
of proper judgment to the available information, it is believed
that results of practical value can be obtained. The conclusions
given here are considered to be the most representative for the average
situations that might be encountered in actual target complexes.

______________________________________________________________________

4.04 Direct damage to structures attributable to air blast can
take various forms. For example, the blast may deflect structural
steel frames, collapse roofs, dish-in walls, shatter panels, and break
windows. In general, the damage results from some type of displacement
(or distortion) and the manner in which such displacement
can arise as the result of a nuclear explosion will be examined below.
4.06 For an air burst, the direction of propagation of the incident
blast wave will be towards the ground at ground zero. In the regular
reflection region, where the direction of propagation of the blast
wave is not parallel to the horizontal axis of the structure, the forces
exerted upon structures will also have a considerable downward
component (prior to passage of the reflected wave) due to the reflected
pressure build-up on the horizontal surfaces. Consequently,
in addition to the horizontal loading, as in the Mach region (§ 3.24),
there will also be initially an appreciable downward force. This
tends to cause crushing toward the ground, e.g., dished-in roofs,
in addition to distortion due to translational motion.

___________________________________________________________________
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Post Post #2323 (isolation #62) » Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:50 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

LLD before you devote too much time. From what I saw its just lifted from another website without any added or omitted words.
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Post Post #2725 (isolation #63) » Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:14 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Updated with more useless shit.

I sperated each overheard post with a:
________________________________

Spoiler:
please don't piss people off or you'll be nuked until you glow

_________________________________________________________

who should be applauded

________________________________________________________

xavier frank tom laura

________________________________________________________

peggy: maybe
alice
?

________________________________________________________

distances. Third, the nuclear explosion is accompanied by highlypenetrating
and harmful invisible rays, called the "initial nuclear
radiation." Finally, the substances remaining after a nuclear explosion
are radioactive, emitting similar radiations over an extended
period of time. This is known as the "residual nuclear radiation"
or "residual radioactivity" (Fig. 1.02).
1.03 It is because of these fundamental differences between a
nuclear and a conventional explosion, including the tremendously
greater power of the former, that the effects of nuclear weapons
require special consideration. In this connection, a knowledge and
understanding of the mechanical and the various radiation phenomena
associated with a nuclear explosion are of vital importance.
1.04 The purpose of this book is to describe the different forms
in which the enei'gy of a nuclear explosion are released, to explain
how they are propagated, and to show how they may affect men and
materials. Where numerical values are given for specific observed
effects, it should be kept in mind that there are inevitable uncertainties
associated with the data, for at least two reasons. In the first place,
there are inherent difficulties in making exact measurements of
weapons effects. The results are often dependent on circumstances
which are difficult, if not impossible, to control, even in a test and

________________________________________________________________

1.29 Almost immediately after a nuclear explosion, the weapon
residues incorporate material from the surrounding medium and form
an intensely hot and luminous mass, roughly spherical in shape, called
the "fireball." An "air burst" is defined as one in which the weapon
is exploded in the air at an altitude below 100,000 feet, but at such a
height that the fireball (at roughly maximum brilliance in its later
stages) does not touch the surface of the earth. For example, in the
explosion of a 1-megaton weapon the fireball may grow until it is
nearly 5,800 feet (1.1 mile) across at maximum brilliance. This
means that, in this particular case, the explosion must occur at least
2,900 feet above the earth's surface if it is to be called an air burst.
1.30 The quantitative aspects of an air burst will be dependent
upon the actual height of the explosion, as well as upon its energy
yield, but the general phenomena are much the same in all cases.
Nearly all of the shock energy appears as air blast, although some is
generally also transmitted into the ground. The thermal radiation
will travel large distances through the air and will be of sufficient
intensity to cause moderately severe burns of exposed skin as far away
as 12 miles from a 1-megaton explosion, on a fairly clear day. The
warmth may be felt at a distance of 75 miles. For air bursts of higher
energy yields, the corresponding distances will, of course, be greater.
Since the thermal radiation is largely stopped by ordinary opaque
materials, buildings and clothing can provide protection.
1.31 The initial nuclear radiations from an air burst will also penetrate
a long way in air, although the intensity falls off fairly rapidly
at increasing distances from the explosion. The nuclear radiations
are not easily absorbed, and fairly thick layers of materials, preferably
of high density, are needed to reduce their intensity to harmless proportions.
For example, at a distance of 1 mile from the air burst of a
1-megaton nuclear weapon, an individual would probably need the
protection of about 1 foot of steel or 4 feet of concrete to be relatively
safe from the efl'ects of the initial nuclear radiations. However, at
this distance the blast effect would be so great that only specially
designed blast-resistant structures would survive.

____________________________________________________________________

4.01 The phenomena associated with a blast wave in air have
been treated in the preceding chapter. On the basis of the information
developed, consideration will now be given to the interaction
of the air blast with a target and the factors affecting the response
of the target. Criteria of damage to targets of different types will
be discussed and relationships given between the damage and the
distances over which such damage may be expected from nuclear
weapons of various yields. In addition, quantitative methods of
computing structural loads and their duration will be outlined.
4.02 The general conclusions concerning the expected effects of
nuclear explosions on various targets are summarized in the form of
nomographs (Figs. 4.58 a and b). These are based on a combination
of theoretical analysis with data obtained from actual nuclear explosions,
both in Japan and at various tests, as well as from laboratory
studies. However, the nature of any target complex, especially a
city, is such that no exact prediction of the eft'ect of blast on structures
can be made. Nor is it possible to indicate the reliability of the
prediction for any particular situation. Nevertheless, by the application
of proper judgment to the available information, it is believed
that results of practical value can be obtained. The conclusions
given here are considered to be the most representative for the average
situations that might be encountered in actual target complexes.

______________________________________________________________________

4.04 Direct damage to structures attributable to air blast can
take various forms. For example, the blast may deflect structural
steel frames, collapse roofs, dish-in walls, shatter panels, and break
windows. In general, the damage results from some type of displacement
(or distortion) and the manner in which such displacement
can arise as the result of a nuclear explosion will be examined below.
4.06 For an air burst, the direction of propagation of the incident
blast wave will be towards the ground at ground zero. In the regular
reflection region, where the direction of propagation of the blast
wave is not parallel to the horizontal axis of the structure, the forces
exerted upon structures will also have a considerable downward
component (prior to passage of the reflected wave) due to the reflected
pressure build-up on the horizontal surfaces. Consequently,
in addition to the horizontal loading, as in the Mach region (§ 3.24),
there will also be initially an appreciable downward force. This
tends to cause crushing toward the ground, e.g., dished-in roofs,
in addition to distortion due to translational motion.

___________________________________________________________________


“Yes.” My answer is short, clipped, squeezed out through my nerves.

I think he smiles, but it’s difficult to tell in the darkness. Christian flicks yet another

switch.

“PDX this is Charlie Tango now at one four thousand, over.” He exchanges informa-
tion with air traffic control. It all sounds very professional to me. I think we’re moving

from Portland’s air space to Seattle International Airport’s.

“Understood Sea-Tac, standing by over and out.”

“Look, over there.” He points to a small pin-point of light in the far distance. “That’s

Seattle.”

“Do you always impress women this way? Come and fly in my helicopter?” I ask,

genuinely interested.

“I’ve never bought a girl up here, Anastasia. It’s another first for me.” His voice is

quiet, serious.

Oh, that was an unexpected answer. Another first? Oh the sleeping thing, perhaps?

“Are you impressed?”

“I’m awed, Christian.”

He smiles.

“Awed?” And for a brief moment, he’s his age again.

I nod.

“You’re just so... competent.”

“Why, thank you, Miss Steele,” he says politely. I think he’s pleased, but I’m not sure.

We ride into the dark night in silence for a while. The bright spot that is Seattle is

slowly getting bigger.

“Sea-Tac tower to Charlie Tango. Flight plan to Escala in place. Please proceed. And

standby. Over.”

“This is Charlie Tango, understood Sea-Tac. Standing by, over and out.”

______________________________________________________

“Christian, afraid? I can’t imagine him being frightened of anything.” But as I say the

words, I imagine him as a small child. Maybe fear was all he knew then. Sorrow grips and

squeezes my heart at the thought.

Kate gazes at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes, rather like my subconscious – all

she needs is the half-moon specs.

“You two need to sit down and talk to each other.”

“We haven’t been doing much talking lately.” I flush. Other stuff. Non-verbal com-
munication and that’s okay. Well, much more than okay.

She grins.

“That’ll be the sexing! If that’s going well, then that’s half the battle Ana. I’ll grab

some Chinese take-out. Are you ready to go?”

“I will be – we don’t have to leave for a couple of hours or so.”

“No – I’ll see you in twenty.” She grabs her jacket and leaves, forgetting to close the

door. I shut it behind her and head off to my bedroom mulling over her words.

Is Christian afraid of his feelings for me? Does he even have feelings for me? He

seems very keen, says I’m his – but that’s just part of his I-must-own-and-have-everything-
now – control-freak dominant self, surely. I realize that while I’m away, I will have to run

through all our conversations again and see if I can pick out telltale signs.

I’ll miss you too... more than you know...

You’ve completely beguiled me...

I shake my head. I don’t want to think about it now. I am charging the BlackBerry,

so I haven’t had it with me all afternoon. I approach it with caution, and I’m disappointed

that there are no messages. I switch on the mean machine, and there are no messages there

either. Same email address Ana – my subconscious rolls her eyes at me, and for the first

time, I understand why Christian wants to spank me when I do that.

Okay. Well, I’ll write him an email.

_________________________________________________________


I fall onto my bed, shoes and all, and howl. The pain is indescribable... physical,

mental... metaphysical... it is everywhere, seeping into the marrow of my bones. Grief.

This is grief – and I’ve brought it on myself. Deep down, a nasty, unbidden thought comes

from my inner goddess, her lip curled in a snarl... the physical pain from the bite of a belt

is nothing, nothing compared to this devastation. I curl up, desperately clutching the flat

foil balloon and Taylor’s handkerchief, and surrender myself to my grief.

End of Part One

_____________________________________________

https://shirt.woot.com/offers/global-thermonuclear-war

you're welcome

____________________________________________________

http://i.imgur.com/Byslw9Z.gif

_____________________________________________

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She peered into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had. “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.

_____________________________________________________

3. Abolition of Parliamentarism
"The Commune," Marx wrote, "was to be a working, not a parliamentary, body, executive and legislative
at the same time....
"Instead of deciding once in three or six years which member of the ruling class was to
represent and repress [ver­ and zertreten] the people in parliament, universal suffrage was to
serve the people constituted in communes, as individual suffrage serves every other employer
in the search for workers, foremen and accountants for his business."
Owing to the prevalence of social­chauvinism and opportunism, this remarkable criticism of
parliamentarism, made in 1871, also belongs now to the "forgotten words" of Marxism. The professional
Cabinet Ministers and parliamentarians, the traitors to the proletariat and the “practical” socialists of our
day, have left all criticism of parliamentarism to the anarchists, and, on this wonderfully reasonable ground,
they denounce all criticism of parliamentarism as “anarchism”!! It is not surprising that the proletariat of the
“advanced” parliamentary countries, disgusted with such “socialists” as the Scheidemanns, Davids,
Legiens, Sembats, Renaudels, Hendersons, Vanderveldes, Staunings, Brantings, Bissolatis, and Co., has
been with increasing frequency giving its sympathies to anarcho­syndicalism, in spite of the fact that the
latter is merely the twin brother of opportunism.
For Marx, however, revolutionary dialectics was never the empty fashionable phrase, the toy rattle, which
Plekhanov, Kautsky and others have made of it. Marx knew how to break with anarchism ruthlessly for its
inability to make use even of the “pigsty” of bourgeois parliamentarism, especially when the situation was
obviously not revolutionary; but at the same time he knew how to subject parliamentarism to genuinely
revolutionary proletarian criticism.
To decide once every few years which members of the ruling class is to repress and crush the people
through parliament­­this is the real essence of bourgeois parliamentarism, not only in parliamentaryconstitutional
monarchies, but also in the most democratic republics.
But if we deal with the question of the state, and if we consider parliamentarism as one of the institutions of
the state, from the point of view of the tasks of the proletariat in this field, what is the way out of
parliamentarism? How can it be dispensed with?
Once again, we must say: the lessons of Marx, based on the study of the Commune, have been so
completely forgotten that the present­day "Social­Democrat" (i.e., present­day traitor to socialism) really
cannot understand any criticism of parliamentarism other than anarchist or reactionary criticism.


______________________________________________

yankee golf yankee kilo golf romeo november papa

______________________________________________
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Post Post #2730 (isolation #64) » Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:52 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

UNVOTE:
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Post Post #2817 (isolation #65) » Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:06 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2774, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Okay tonight we need the Fighter to target Something Special.

Also prob should guide the cop investigation via like 3 options that Something Special picks out of.

And need the Radar to target him also.

Nahdia needs to not use her role.

I doubt all of Something Special/Nahdia/Radar/Fighter are scum.

If he's scum with the actual role (cop), then that will reveal itself in time.

If he's scum without the role and looking to bait out the actual cop, that will reveal itself in time,

If he's town and the cop, that will reveal itself in time.
I actually like this.

Lets wait a day on SS

VOTE: UT
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Post Post #2984 (isolation #66) » Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:34 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2957, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Meaning the imgur upload link is http://imgur.com/Byslw9Z. Says uploaded on Nov 23 at 16:43:51 EST. That's at 4:43pm.

Something interesting.
What is interesting about that?
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Post Post #2989 (isolation #67) » Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:45 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Updated. Props to the mod for putting up with the scums bullshit. Pretty sure they have broken various copyright laws.

The ONLY interesting things that have been said were the last 2 messages received:

_________________________
LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH
_________________________
that would be bad. mining was bad
_________________________


I sperated each overheard post with a:
________________________________

Spoiler:
please don't piss people off or you'll be nuked until you glow

_________________________________________________________

who should be applauded

________________________________________________________

xavier frank tom laura

________________________________________________________

peggy: maybe
alice
?

________________________________________________________

distances. Third, the nuclear explosion is accompanied by highlypenetrating
and harmful invisible rays, called the "initial nuclear
radiation." Finally, the substances remaining after a nuclear explosion
are radioactive, emitting similar radiations over an extended
period of time. This is known as the "residual nuclear radiation"
or "residual radioactivity" (Fig. 1.02).
1.03 It is because of these fundamental differences between a
nuclear and a conventional explosion, including the tremendously
greater power of the former, that the effects of nuclear weapons
require special consideration. In this connection, a knowledge and
understanding of the mechanical and the various radiation phenomena
associated with a nuclear explosion are of vital importance.
1.04 The purpose of this book is to describe the different forms
in which the enei'gy of a nuclear explosion are released, to explain
how they are propagated, and to show how they may affect men and
materials. Where numerical values are given for specific observed
effects, it should be kept in mind that there are inevitable uncertainties
associated with the data, for at least two reasons. In the first place,
there are inherent difficulties in making exact measurements of
weapons effects. The results are often dependent on circumstances
which are difficult, if not impossible, to control, even in a test and

________________________________________________________________

1.29 Almost immediately after a nuclear explosion, the weapon
residues incorporate material from the surrounding medium and form
an intensely hot and luminous mass, roughly spherical in shape, called
the "fireball." An "air burst" is defined as one in which the weapon
is exploded in the air at an altitude below 100,000 feet, but at such a
height that the fireball (at roughly maximum brilliance in its later
stages) does not touch the surface of the earth. For example, in the
explosion of a 1-megaton weapon the fireball may grow until it is
nearly 5,800 feet (1.1 mile) across at maximum brilliance. This
means that, in this particular case, the explosion must occur at least
2,900 feet above the earth's surface if it is to be called an air burst.
1.30 The quantitative aspects of an air burst will be dependent
upon the actual height of the explosion, as well as upon its energy
yield, but the general phenomena are much the same in all cases.
Nearly all of the shock energy appears as air blast, although some is
generally also transmitted into the ground. The thermal radiation
will travel large distances through the air and will be of sufficient
intensity to cause moderately severe burns of exposed skin as far away
as 12 miles from a 1-megaton explosion, on a fairly clear day. The
warmth may be felt at a distance of 75 miles. For air bursts of higher
energy yields, the corresponding distances will, of course, be greater.
Since the thermal radiation is largely stopped by ordinary opaque
materials, buildings and clothing can provide protection.
1.31 The initial nuclear radiations from an air burst will also penetrate
a long way in air, although the intensity falls off fairly rapidly
at increasing distances from the explosion. The nuclear radiations
are not easily absorbed, and fairly thick layers of materials, preferably
of high density, are needed to reduce their intensity to harmless proportions.
For example, at a distance of 1 mile from the air burst of a
1-megaton nuclear weapon, an individual would probably need the
protection of about 1 foot of steel or 4 feet of concrete to be relatively
safe from the efl'ects of the initial nuclear radiations. However, at
this distance the blast effect would be so great that only specially
designed blast-resistant structures would survive.

____________________________________________________________________

4.01 The phenomena associated with a blast wave in air have
been treated in the preceding chapter. On the basis of the information
developed, consideration will now be given to the interaction
of the air blast with a target and the factors affecting the response
of the target. Criteria of damage to targets of different types will
be discussed and relationships given between the damage and the
distances over which such damage may be expected from nuclear
weapons of various yields. In addition, quantitative methods of
computing structural loads and their duration will be outlined.
4.02 The general conclusions concerning the expected effects of
nuclear explosions on various targets are summarized in the form of
nomographs (Figs. 4.58 a and b). These are based on a combination
of theoretical analysis with data obtained from actual nuclear explosions,
both in Japan and at various tests, as well as from laboratory
studies. However, the nature of any target complex, especially a
city, is such that no exact prediction of the eft'ect of blast on structures
can be made. Nor is it possible to indicate the reliability of the
prediction for any particular situation. Nevertheless, by the application
of proper judgment to the available information, it is believed
that results of practical value can be obtained. The conclusions
given here are considered to be the most representative for the average
situations that might be encountered in actual target complexes.

______________________________________________________________________

4.04 Direct damage to structures attributable to air blast can
take various forms. For example, the blast may deflect structural
steel frames, collapse roofs, dish-in walls, shatter panels, and break
windows. In general, the damage results from some type of displacement
(or distortion) and the manner in which such displacement
can arise as the result of a nuclear explosion will be examined below.
4.06 For an air burst, the direction of propagation of the incident
blast wave will be towards the ground at ground zero. In the regular
reflection region, where the direction of propagation of the blast
wave is not parallel to the horizontal axis of the structure, the forces
exerted upon structures will also have a considerable downward
component (prior to passage of the reflected wave) due to the reflected
pressure build-up on the horizontal surfaces. Consequently,
in addition to the horizontal loading, as in the Mach region (§ 3.24),
there will also be initially an appreciable downward force. This
tends to cause crushing toward the ground, e.g., dished-in roofs,
in addition to distortion due to translational motion.

___________________________________________________________________


“Yes.” My answer is short, clipped, squeezed out through my nerves.

I think he smiles, but it’s difficult to tell in the darkness. Christian flicks yet another

switch.

“PDX this is Charlie Tango now at one four thousand, over.” He exchanges informa-
tion with air traffic control. It all sounds very professional to me. I think we’re moving

from Portland’s air space to Seattle International Airport’s.

“Understood Sea-Tac, standing by over and out.”

“Look, over there.” He points to a small pin-point of light in the far distance. “That’s

Seattle.”

“Do you always impress women this way? Come and fly in my helicopter?” I ask,

genuinely interested.

“I’ve never bought a girl up here, Anastasia. It’s another first for me.” His voice is

quiet, serious.

Oh, that was an unexpected answer. Another first? Oh the sleeping thing, perhaps?

“Are you impressed?”

“I’m awed, Christian.”

He smiles.

“Awed?” And for a brief moment, he’s his age again.

I nod.

“You’re just so... competent.”

“Why, thank you, Miss Steele,” he says politely. I think he’s pleased, but I’m not sure.

We ride into the dark night in silence for a while. The bright spot that is Seattle is

slowly getting bigger.

“Sea-Tac tower to Charlie Tango. Flight plan to Escala in place. Please proceed. And

standby. Over.”

“This is Charlie Tango, understood Sea-Tac. Standing by, over and out.”

______________________________________________________

“Christian, afraid? I can’t imagine him being frightened of anything.” But as I say the

words, I imagine him as a small child. Maybe fear was all he knew then. Sorrow grips and

squeezes my heart at the thought.

Kate gazes at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes, rather like my subconscious – all

she needs is the half-moon specs.

“You two need to sit down and talk to each other.”

“We haven’t been doing much talking lately.” I flush. Other stuff. Non-verbal com-
munication and that’s okay. Well, much more than okay.

She grins.

“That’ll be the sexing! If that’s going well, then that’s half the battle Ana. I’ll grab

some Chinese take-out. Are you ready to go?”

“I will be – we don’t have to leave for a couple of hours or so.”

“No – I’ll see you in twenty.” She grabs her jacket and leaves, forgetting to close the

door. I shut it behind her and head off to my bedroom mulling over her words.

Is Christian afraid of his feelings for me? Does he even have feelings for me? He

seems very keen, says I’m his – but that’s just part of his I-must-own-and-have-everything-
now – control-freak dominant self, surely. I realize that while I’m away, I will have to run

through all our conversations again and see if I can pick out telltale signs.

I’ll miss you too... more than you know...

You’ve completely beguiled me...

I shake my head. I don’t want to think about it now. I am charging the BlackBerry,

so I haven’t had it with me all afternoon. I approach it with caution, and I’m disappointed

that there are no messages. I switch on the mean machine, and there are no messages there

either. Same email address Ana – my subconscious rolls her eyes at me, and for the first

time, I understand why Christian wants to spank me when I do that.

Okay. Well, I’ll write him an email.

_________________________________________________________


I fall onto my bed, shoes and all, and howl. The pain is indescribable... physical,

mental... metaphysical... it is everywhere, seeping into the marrow of my bones. Grief.

This is grief – and I’ve brought it on myself. Deep down, a nasty, unbidden thought comes

from my inner goddess, her lip curled in a snarl... the physical pain from the bite of a belt

is nothing, nothing compared to this devastation. I curl up, desperately clutching the flat

foil balloon and Taylor’s handkerchief, and surrender myself to my grief.

End of Part One

_____________________________________________

https://shirt.woot.com/offers/global-thermonuclear-war

you're welcome

____________________________________________________

http://i.imgur.com/Byslw9Z.gif

_____________________________________________

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She peered into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had. “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.

_____________________________________________________

3. Abolition of Parliamentarism
"The Commune," Marx wrote, "was to be a working, not a parliamentary, body, executive and legislative
at the same time....
"Instead of deciding once in three or six years which member of the ruling class was to
represent and repress [ver­ and zertreten] the people in parliament, universal suffrage was to
serve the people constituted in communes, as individual suffrage serves every other employer
in the search for workers, foremen and accountants for his business."
Owing to the prevalence of social­chauvinism and opportunism, this remarkable criticism of
parliamentarism, made in 1871, also belongs now to the "forgotten words" of Marxism. The professional
Cabinet Ministers and parliamentarians, the traitors to the proletariat and the “practical” socialists of our
day, have left all criticism of parliamentarism to the anarchists, and, on this wonderfully reasonable ground,
they denounce all criticism of parliamentarism as “anarchism”!! It is not surprising that the proletariat of the
“advanced” parliamentary countries, disgusted with such “socialists” as the Scheidemanns, Davids,
Legiens, Sembats, Renaudels, Hendersons, Vanderveldes, Staunings, Brantings, Bissolatis, and Co., has
been with increasing frequency giving its sympathies to anarcho­syndicalism, in spite of the fact that the
latter is merely the twin brother of opportunism.
For Marx, however, revolutionary dialectics was never the empty fashionable phrase, the toy rattle, which
Plekhanov, Kautsky and others have made of it. Marx knew how to break with anarchism ruthlessly for its
inability to make use even of the “pigsty” of bourgeois parliamentarism, especially when the situation was
obviously not revolutionary; but at the same time he knew how to subject parliamentarism to genuinely
revolutionary proletarian criticism.
To decide once every few years which members of the ruling class is to repress and crush the people
through parliament­­this is the real essence of bourgeois parliamentarism, not only in parliamentaryconstitutional
monarchies, but also in the most democratic republics.
But if we deal with the question of the state, and if we consider parliamentarism as one of the institutions of
the state, from the point of view of the tasks of the proletariat in this field, what is the way out of
parliamentarism? How can it be dispensed with?
Once again, we must say: the lessons of Marx, based on the study of the Commune, have been so
completely forgotten that the present­day "Social­Democrat" (i.e., present­day traitor to socialism) really
cannot understand any criticism of parliamentarism other than anarchist or reactionary criticism.


______________________________________________

yankee golf yankee kilo golf romeo november papa

______________________________________________

romeo november golf charlie oscar delta echo

________________________________________________

Addition. — Since wealth depends upon application, equality in the
distribution of goods would, if introduced, soon be disturbed again. What
does not permit of being carried out, ought not to be attempted. Men are
equal, it is true, but only as persons, that is, only with reference to the
source of possession. Accordingly every one must have property. This
is the only kind of equality which it is possible to consider. Beyond this
is found the region of particular persons, and the question for the first
time comes up, How much do I possess? Here the assertion that the
property of every man ought in justice to be equal to that of every other
is false, since justice demands merely that every one should have property.
Indeed, amongst persons variously endowed inequality must occur,
and equality would be wrong. It is quite true that men often desire
the goods of others; but this desire is wrong, for right is unconcerned
about differences in individuals.
50. It is a self-evident and, indeed, almost superfluous remark that
an object belongs to him who is accidentally first in possession of it. A
second person cannot take into possession what is already the property
of another.
Addition.—So far we have been chiefly concerned with the proposition
that personality must find an embodiment in property. From what
has been said, it follows that he who is first in possession is likewise
owner. He is rightful owner, not because he is first, but because he is a
free will. He is not first till some one comes after him

________________________________________________________

snape kills dumbledore

_______________________________________________

I like to keep my bandsaw blades on the wall next to my saw.
To save space, I fold them into coils. The trouble comes when
I hang the coiled blade on a peg or nail. I’ve had the blades
suddenly come uncoiled and spring off the wall! That’s unpleasant
and potentially dangerous. I tried using twist ties, but they wore
out quickly and it was a pain having to tie up and untie the blade
every time I used it.
I came up with this handy hanger made with a 2x4 and some
very small spring clamps. I notched the edge of the 2x4 with a
dado blade and screwed a spring clamp into each notch. Now
when I go to change blades, all I have to do is squeeze the spring
clamp to release the blade.

____________________________________________________

Can a 2x4
Dull a Blade?
After resawing some pine 2x4s, my bandsaw blade smoked
and seemed mighty dull. How can that be?
Chances are your blade wasn’t dull at all. It’s teeth were probably
coated with pine pitch, which you should remove with blade
cleaner. Other woods, such as cherry, also deposit pitch on
bandsaw blades.
Like any sawblade, a bandsaw blade’s teeth won’t cut properly
if they’re caked with pitch. Pitch fills in the clearances necessary
for the blade to cut with a minimum of friction. This makes the
blade run hotter, which creates even more buildup. Blade cleaner
removes all traces of pitch, making your blade feel much sharper.
You should remove the blade for cleaning to avoid potentially
damaging your wheel’s tires.

___________________________________________

Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.
- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
- Thinking bee!
- Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

__________________________________________________


I lived in a house from hell for four years, from age eleven to almost sixteen. There was constantly something happening. Doors flying open and shut, voices, footsteps. Nothing ever stayed where you put it. I was alone there a lot because both my parents worked and I was constantly terrified.

One of the most gut-level disturbing things though was the little girl in my bathroom. Every time I walked past my bathroom door (which was constantly since it was right outside my bedroom) I saw a little girl with blond curled hair and a rose-colored dress. She just stood there, staring, looking like a photograph from 1905. I started keeping the door closed so I could walk by without seeing her, but she was always there when I opened it. Once I stepped in past her, I couldn't see her anymore but I could feel her there. She scared me, but I felt really sorry for her because she was trapped there, just like me, but probably forever.

As the years went by and things in the house continued to get worse, she started seeming... darker. I started feeling like she wasn't really a little girl. I knew there was something ugly in the house and I felt like it was presenting this sympathetic image to me. Then I started thinking I was completely losing my mind.

One day, when I was 14, I had a friend from out of town come stay with me for a week. I hadn't told her anything whatsoever about the house because I didn't think she would come if I did. Right after she got there we were sitting in my room and she left to go to the bathroom. About a minute later she walked back in with a puzzled look on her face and said "So, there's a little girl in your bathroom". "Um, I, yeah she hangs out in there. Blond hair?" "Curls? Pink dress? Yeah. You know that's not really a little girl, don't you?" I almost threw up. I was so relieved and terrified and excited and ready to run out of the house screaming. She wouldn't use my bathroom the rest of the week and I started using it as little as possible without pissing off my parents (who did not want to believe).

Eventually we moved out and I could not have been happier. I distanced myself from it mentally as much as I could. Then, when I was 18, I took another friend on a road trip to pack up a few things I'd left in the house (my parents hadn't managed to sell it, and wouldn't for 5 more years). The minute we got on the property, my friend seemed uncomfortable. When we came around the bend in the long, steep driveway, he went completely white. I could tell something was wrong, but he insisted he was OK, so we got to work. After a while he asked to use the bathroom and I directed him to mine. Not 20 seconds after he left, he came running back in, gasping for breath, andand slammed the bedroom door behind him. He started babbling about a little blond girl who isn't really a little girl. All of a sudden he went dead still, looked me in the eye, and very solemnly said "She's not happy. With you. You left, and you weren't supposed to". We threw whatever we could grab in two trips in my car (after I walked him to another bathroom and waited outside the door) and got the fuck out at top speed.


_____________________________________________________________________________

According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That’s me!
- Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- Bee-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it’ll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She’s my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we’re all cousins.
- Right. You’re right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
- Well, there’s a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You’re gonna be a stirrer?
- No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
- We’re starting work today!
- Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
- What’d you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
What happened to you?
Where are you?
- I’m going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.
- Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.
- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
- That’s awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
- Do something!
- I’m driving!
- Hi, bee.
- He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
- You’re talking.
- Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I’m talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
- That’s very funny.
- Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something?
- Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It’s just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
- Don’t be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn’t.
- Have some.
- No, I can’t.
- Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where?
- These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do?
- Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
- It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I’ll try that.
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!
- Yeah.
All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don’t.
- How’d you get back?
- Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
- Well…
- Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider?
- I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
- Her name’s Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!
- Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
- We’re still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
- Where are you going?
- I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
- What is wrong with you?!
- It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that
down to a science.
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I’ll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
You don’t have
enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
- It’s organic.
- It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
- You almost done?
- Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
- And you?
- He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
- You hear something?
- Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
- Bees hang tight.
- We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
- What?
- Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
- That would hurt.
- No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
- Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
- And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ‘em.
Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
‘cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
- Frosting…
- How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
- This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
- What’s the matter?
- I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
‘cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.
- I couldn’t hear you.
- No.
- No.
Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court!
- You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
- Ken!
- Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
- What’s that?
- Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
- You’re bluffing.
- Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
- Good friends?
- Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
- Yeah, but…
- So those aren’t your real parents!
- Oh, Barry…
- Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y'all date your cousins?
- Objection!
- I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
- Why?
- The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
- What are we gonna do?
- He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
- What if Montgomery’s right?
- What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
- Are they out celebrating?
- They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
- What did you want to show me?
- This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
- I’ll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
- Bees.
- Park.
- Pollen!
- Flowers.
- Repollination!
- Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
- Where should I sit?
- What are you?
- I believe I’m the pea.
- The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
- Remove your stinger.
- It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
- What’d you say, Hal?
- Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
- Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
- Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
- Is that another bee joke?
- No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who’s that?
- Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
- Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
- Get this on the air!
- Got it.
- Stand by.
- We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow!
- Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
- Hover?
- Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
- That may have been helping me.
- And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow.
- Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
- What?
- I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?
- That flower.
- I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
- This is insane, Barry!
- This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
- Thank you.
- But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.
- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
- Thinking bee!
- Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

______________________________________

LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH



______________________________________


that would be bad. mining was bad


_________________________________
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Post Post #2995 (isolation #68) » Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:55 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2994, Ircher wrote:
In post 2993, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:
In post 2989, Vaxkiller wrote:The ONLY interesting things that have been said were the last 2 messages received:
Pretty sure it would be a lot more helpful if you start putting the timestamps you're receiving them from the mod.
Isn't that against the rules?

Yes
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Post Post #2998 (isolation #69) » Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:00 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Im thinking UT, but it could also be there to throw us off.
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Post Post #3000 (isolation #70) » Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:10 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Just answering a question and giving my thoughts. Its going to be ok.

Is it weird that I'm really starting to like everything SAD says except for his thoughts on myself? Also most of my scum reads (with the exception of my previous scum read of SAD) have jumped ship on UT. I think I'm liking this lynch.
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Post Post #3003 (isolation #71) » Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:14 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 3001, Accountant wrote:Kill vax quick
If I were scum I would just shut the fuck up and not give opinions, because most people have been ignoring me for the past few days while i have been just posting updates with unvotes and votes during turkey day
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Post Post #3170 (isolation #72) » Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:04 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 3051, Cephrir wrote:
In post 3003, Vaxkiller wrote:
In post 3001, Accountant wrote:Kill vax quick
If I were scum I would just shut the fuck up and not give opinions, because most people have been ignoring me for the past few days while i have been just posting updates with unvotes and votes during turkey day
So... exactly what you've been doing until a couple people voted you last page?
Coincidence. Its post turkey weekend and im back at work now.
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Post Post #3171 (isolation #73) » Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:12 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 3061, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:Here lets try this

Vote: Something Special
In post 3134, Ser Arthur Dayne wrote:
Vote: LLD


MY BOOOODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

IS TELLING ME YES
You are all over the place. What happened to waiting for SS?

Now were on LLD? I can dig, but no one else does.
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Post Post #3172 (isolation #74) » Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:13 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 3125, Accountant wrote:There was once a legendary mafia player who always had the ability to sniff out scum. He could pop into a game day 1 and immediately call out the entire scum team. His secret? He had the rare medical condition of being allergic to bullshit. Made-up garbage made him break out in hives and blithering nonsense meant as a facade to disguise scummy behavior would cause him to sneeze. All he had to do was look at which players triggered his allergic reaction to call out the scumteam for sure.

That player is no longer with us because he once made the mistake of PLAYING IN A GAME WITH MASTINA AND DIED IN HIS FUCKING CHAIR

Are you THAT sure he is scum?
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Post Post #3207 (isolation #75) » Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:47 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 3199, Untrod Tripod wrote:GiF counterclaimed Espionage
I somehow missed this.

UNVOTE:

VOTE: SS
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Post Post #3208 (isolation #76) » Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:48 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Hurry before the mod leaves!
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Post Post #3241 (isolation #77) » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:01 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

VOTE: SAD

Also, unrelated Eavesdrops incoming.
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Post Post #3243 (isolation #78) » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:08 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Eavesdrops I decided to make 2 lists. One with everything and one with things that COULD be useful (but probably not)

ALL eavesdrops (updated a mistake I made yesterday... the ENORMOUS WALL OF TEXT was actually overheard TWICE, so it is now listed twice, and is equally twice as useless):

Spoiler:
please don't piss people off or you'll be nuked until you glow

_________________________________________________________

who should be applauded

________________________________________________________

xavier frank tom laura

________________________________________________________

peggy: maybe alice?

________________________________________________________

distances. Third, the nuclear explosion is accompanied by highlypenetrating
and harmful invisible rays, called the "initial nuclear
radiation." Finally, the substances remaining after a nuclear explosion
are radioactive, emitting similar radiations over an extended
period of time. This is known as the "residual nuclear radiation"
or "residual radioactivity" (Fig. 1.02).
1.03 It is because of these fundamental differences between a
nuclear and a conventional explosion, including the tremendously
greater power of the former, that the effects of nuclear weapons
require special consideration. In this connection, a knowledge and
understanding of the mechanical and the various radiation phenomena
associated with a nuclear explosion are of vital importance.
1.04 The purpose of this book is to describe the different forms
in which the enei'gy of a nuclear explosion are released, to explain
how they are propagated, and to show how they may affect men and
materials. Where numerical values are given for specific observed
effects, it should be kept in mind that there are inevitable uncertainties
associated with the data, for at least two reasons. In the first place,
there are inherent difficulties in making exact measurements of
weapons effects. The results are often dependent on circumstances
which are difficult, if not impossible, to control, even in a test and

________________________________________________________________

1.29 Almost immediately after a nuclear explosion, the weapon
residues incorporate material from the surrounding medium and form
an intensely hot and luminous mass, roughly spherical in shape, called
the "fireball." An "air burst" is defined as one in which the weapon
is exploded in the air at an altitude below 100,000 feet, but at such a
height that the fireball (at roughly maximum brilliance in its later
stages) does not touch the surface of the earth. For example, in the
explosion of a 1-megaton weapon the fireball may grow until it is
nearly 5,800 feet (1.1 mile) across at maximum brilliance. This
means that, in this particular case, the explosion must occur at least
2,900 feet above the earth's surface if it is to be called an air burst.
1.30 The quantitative aspects of an air burst will be dependent
upon the actual height of the explosion, as well as upon its energy
yield, but the general phenomena are much the same in all cases.
Nearly all of the shock energy appears as air blast, although some is
generally also transmitted into the ground. The thermal radiation
will travel large distances through the air and will be of sufficient
intensity to cause moderately severe burns of exposed skin as far away
as 12 miles from a 1-megaton explosion, on a fairly clear day. The
warmth may be felt at a distance of 75 miles. For air bursts of higher
energy yields, the corresponding distances will, of course, be greater.
Since the thermal radiation is largely stopped by ordinary opaque
materials, buildings and clothing can provide protection.
1.31 The initial nuclear radiations from an air burst will also penetrate
a long way in air, although the intensity falls off fairly rapidly
at increasing distances from the explosion. The nuclear radiations
are not easily absorbed, and fairly thick layers of materials, preferably
of high density, are needed to reduce their intensity to harmless proportions.
For example, at a distance of 1 mile from the air burst of a
1-megaton nuclear weapon, an individual would probably need the
protection of about 1 foot of steel or 4 feet of concrete to be relatively
safe from the efl'ects of the initial nuclear radiations. However, at
this distance the blast effect would be so great that only specially
designed blast-resistant structures would survive.

____________________________________________________________________

4.01 The phenomena associated with a blast wave in air have
been treated in the preceding chapter. On the basis of the information
developed, consideration will now be given to the interaction
of the air blast with a target and the factors affecting the response
of the target. Criteria of damage to targets of different types will
be discussed and relationships given between the damage and the
distances over which such damage may be expected from nuclear
weapons of various yields. In addition, quantitative methods of
computing structural loads and their duration will be outlined.
4.02 The general conclusions concerning the expected effects of
nuclear explosions on various targets are summarized in the form of
nomographs (Figs. 4.58 a and b). These are based on a combination
of theoretical analysis with data obtained from actual nuclear explosions,
both in Japan and at various tests, as well as from laboratory
studies. However, the nature of any target complex, especially a
city, is such that no exact prediction of the eft'ect of blast on structures
can be made. Nor is it possible to indicate the reliability of the
prediction for any particular situation. Nevertheless, by the application
of proper judgment to the available information, it is believed
that results of practical value can be obtained. The conclusions
given here are considered to be the most representative for the average
situations that might be encountered in actual target complexes.

______________________________________________________________________

4.04 Direct damage to structures attributable to air blast can
take various forms. For example, the blast may deflect structural
steel frames, collapse roofs, dish-in walls, shatter panels, and break
windows. In general, the damage results from some type of displacement
(or distortion) and the manner in which such displacement
can arise as the result of a nuclear explosion will be examined below.
4.06 For an air burst, the direction of propagation of the incident
blast wave will be towards the ground at ground zero. In the regular
reflection region, where the direction of propagation of the blast
wave is not parallel to the horizontal axis of the structure, the forces
exerted upon structures will also have a considerable downward
component (prior to passage of the reflected wave) due to the reflected
pressure build-up on the horizontal surfaces. Consequently,
in addition to the horizontal loading, as in the Mach region (§ 3.24),
there will also be initially an appreciable downward force. This
tends to cause crushing toward the ground, e.g., dished-in roofs,
in addition to distortion due to translational motion.

___________________________________________________________________


“Yes.” My answer is short, clipped, squeezed out through my nerves.

I think he smiles, but it’s difficult to tell in the darkness. Christian flicks yet another

switch.

“PDX this is Charlie Tango now at one four thousand, over.” He exchanges informa-
tion with air traffic control. It all sounds very professional to me. I think we’re moving

from Portland’s air space to Seattle International Airport’s.

“Understood Sea-Tac, standing by over and out.”

“Look, over there.” He points to a small pin-point of light in the far distance. “That’s

Seattle.”

“Do you always impress women this way? Come and fly in my helicopter?” I ask,

genuinely interested.

“I’ve never bought a girl up here, Anastasia. It’s another first for me.” His voice is

quiet, serious.

Oh, that was an unexpected answer. Another first? Oh the sleeping thing, perhaps?

“Are you impressed?”

“I’m awed, Christian.”

He smiles.

“Awed?” And for a brief moment, he’s his age again.

I nod.

“You’re just so... competent.”

“Why, thank you, Miss Steele,” he says politely. I think he’s pleased, but I’m not sure.

We ride into the dark night in silence for a while. The bright spot that is Seattle is

slowly getting bigger.

“Sea-Tac tower to Charlie Tango. Flight plan to Escala in place. Please proceed. And

standby. Over.”

“This is Charlie Tango, understood Sea-Tac. Standing by, over and out.”

______________________________________________________

“Christian, afraid? I can’t imagine him being frightened of anything.” But as I say the

words, I imagine him as a small child. Maybe fear was all he knew then. Sorrow grips and

squeezes my heart at the thought.

Kate gazes at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes, rather like my subconscious – all

she needs is the half-moon specs.

“You two need to sit down and talk to each other.”

“We haven’t been doing much talking lately.” I flush. Other stuff. Non-verbal com-
munication and that’s okay. Well, much more than okay.

She grins.

“That’ll be the sexing! If that’s going well, then that’s half the battle Ana. I’ll grab

some Chinese take-out. Are you ready to go?”

“I will be – we don’t have to leave for a couple of hours or so.”

“No – I’ll see you in twenty.” She grabs her jacket and leaves, forgetting to close the

door. I shut it behind her and head off to my bedroom mulling over her words.

Is Christian afraid of his feelings for me? Does he even have feelings for me? He

seems very keen, says I’m his – but that’s just part of his I-must-own-and-have-everything-
now – control-freak dominant self, surely. I realize that while I’m away, I will have to run

through all our conversations again and see if I can pick out telltale signs.

I’ll miss you too... more than you know...

You’ve completely beguiled me...

I shake my head. I don’t want to think about it now. I am charging the BlackBerry,

so I haven’t had it with me all afternoon. I approach it with caution, and I’m disappointed

that there are no messages. I switch on the mean machine, and there are no messages there

either. Same email address Ana – my subconscious rolls her eyes at me, and for the first

time, I understand why Christian wants to spank me when I do that.

Okay. Well, I’ll write him an email.

_________________________________________________________


I fall onto my bed, shoes and all, and howl. The pain is indescribable... physical,

mental... metaphysical... it is everywhere, seeping into the marrow of my bones. Grief.

This is grief – and I’ve brought it on myself. Deep down, a nasty, unbidden thought comes

from my inner goddess, her lip curled in a snarl... the physical pain from the bite of a belt

is nothing, nothing compared to this devastation. I curl up, desperately clutching the flat

foil balloon and Taylor’s handkerchief, and surrender myself to my grief.

End of Part One

_____________________________________________

https://shirt.woot.com/offers/global-thermonuclear-war

you're welcome

____________________________________________________

http://i.imgur.com/Byslw9Z.gif

_____________________________________________

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She peered into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had. “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.

_____________________________________________________

3. Abolition of Parliamentarism
"The Commune," Marx wrote, "was to be a working, not a parliamentary, body, executive and legislative
at the same time....
"Instead of deciding once in three or six years which member of the ruling class was to
represent and repress [ver­ and zertreten] the people in parliament, universal suffrage was to
serve the people constituted in communes, as individual suffrage serves every other employer
in the search for workers, foremen and accountants for his business."
Owing to the prevalence of social­chauvinism and opportunism, this remarkable criticism of
parliamentarism, made in 1871, also belongs now to the "forgotten words" of Marxism. The professional
Cabinet Ministers and parliamentarians, the traitors to the proletariat and the “practical” socialists of our
day, have left all criticism of parliamentarism to the anarchists, and, on this wonderfully reasonable ground,
they denounce all criticism of parliamentarism as “anarchism”!! It is not surprising that the proletariat of the
“advanced” parliamentary countries, disgusted with such “socialists” as the Scheidemanns, Davids,
Legiens, Sembats, Renaudels, Hendersons, Vanderveldes, Staunings, Brantings, Bissolatis, and Co., has
been with increasing frequency giving its sympathies to anarcho­syndicalism, in spite of the fact that the
latter is merely the twin brother of opportunism.
For Marx, however, revolutionary dialectics was never the empty fashionable phrase, the toy rattle, which
Plekhanov, Kautsky and others have made of it. Marx knew how to break with anarchism ruthlessly for its
inability to make use even of the “pigsty” of bourgeois parliamentarism, especially when the situation was
obviously not revolutionary; but at the same time he knew how to subject parliamentarism to genuinely
revolutionary proletarian criticism.
To decide once every few years which members of the ruling class is to repress and crush the people
through parliament­­this is the real essence of bourgeois parliamentarism, not only in parliamentaryconstitutional
monarchies, but also in the most democratic republics.
But if we deal with the question of the state, and if we consider parliamentarism as one of the institutions of
the state, from the point of view of the tasks of the proletariat in this field, what is the way out of
parliamentarism? How can it be dispensed with?
Once again, we must say: the lessons of Marx, based on the study of the Commune, have been so
completely forgotten that the present­day "Social­Democrat" (i.e., present­day traitor to socialism) really
cannot understand any criticism of parliamentarism other than anarchist or reactionary criticism.


______________________________________________

yankee golf yankee kilo golf romeo november papa

______________________________________________

romeo november golf charlie oscar delta echo

________________________________________________

Addition. — Since wealth depends upon application, equality in the
distribution of goods would, if introduced, soon be disturbed again. What
does not permit of being carried out, ought not to be attempted. Men are
equal, it is true, but only as persons, that is, only with reference to the
source of possession. Accordingly every one must have property. This
is the only kind of equality which it is possible to consider. Beyond this
is found the region of particular persons, and the question for the first
time comes up, How much do I possess? Here the assertion that the
property of every man ought in justice to be equal to that of every other
is false, since justice demands merely that every one should have property.
Indeed, amongst persons variously endowed inequality must occur,
and equality would be wrong. It is quite true that men often desire
the goods of others; but this desire is wrong, for right is unconcerned
about differences in individuals.
50. It is a self-evident and, indeed, almost superfluous remark that
an object belongs to him who is accidentally first in possession of it. A
second person cannot take into possession what is already the property
of another.
Addition.—So far we have been chiefly concerned with the proposition
that personality must find an embodiment in property. From what
has been said, it follows that he who is first in possession is likewise
owner. He is rightful owner, not because he is first, but because he is a
free will. He is not first till some one comes after him

________________________________________________________

snape kills dumbledore

_______________________________________________

I like to keep my bandsaw blades on the wall next to my saw.
To save space, I fold them into coils. The trouble comes when
I hang the coiled blade on a peg or nail. I’ve had the blades
suddenly come uncoiled and spring off the wall! That’s unpleasant
and potentially dangerous. I tried using twist ties, but they wore
out quickly and it was a pain having to tie up and untie the blade
every time I used it.
I came up with this handy hanger made with a 2x4 and some
very small spring clamps. I notched the edge of the 2x4 with a
dado blade and screwed a spring clamp into each notch. Now
when I go to change blades, all I have to do is squeeze the spring
clamp to release the blade.

____________________________________________________

Can a 2x4
Dull a Blade?
After resawing some pine 2x4s, my bandsaw blade smoked
and seemed mighty dull. How can that be?
Chances are your blade wasn’t dull at all. It’s teeth were probably
coated with pine pitch, which you should remove with blade
cleaner. Other woods, such as cherry, also deposit pitch on
bandsaw blades.
Like any sawblade, a bandsaw blade’s teeth won’t cut properly
if they’re caked with pitch. Pitch fills in the clearances necessary
for the blade to cut with a minimum of friction. This makes the
blade run hotter, which creates even more buildup. Blade cleaner
removes all traces of pitch, making your blade feel much sharper.
You should remove the blade for cleaning to avoid potentially
damaging your wheel’s tires.

___________________________________________

Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect?fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs?to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be?working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great?afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that??It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.?And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel?like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.?Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me??My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.?All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,?and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.?Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.?Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!?It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
- When will this nightmare end?!?- Let it all go.
- Beautiful day to fly.?- Sure is.
Between you and me,?I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got?to start thinking bee, my friend.
- Thinking bee!?- Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop?for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.?Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision?during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.?Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

__________________________________________________


I lived in a house from hell for four years, from age eleven to almost sixteen. There was constantly something happening. Doors flying open and shut, voices, footsteps. Nothing ever stayed where you put it. I was alone there a lot because both my parents worked and I was constantly terrified.

One of the most gut-level disturbing things though was the little girl in my bathroom. Every time I walked past my bathroom door (which was constantly since it was right outside my bedroom) I saw a little girl with blond curled hair and a rose-colored dress. She just stood there, staring, looking like a photograph from 1905. I started keeping the door closed so I could walk by without seeing her, but she was always there when I opened it. Once I stepped in past her, I couldn't see her anymore but I could feel her there. She scared me, but I felt really sorry for her because she was trapped there, just like me, but probably forever.

As the years went by and things in the house continued to get worse, she started seeming... darker. I started feeling like she wasn't really a little girl. I knew there was something ugly in the house and I felt like it was presenting this sympathetic image to me. Then I started thinking I was completely losing my mind.

One day, when I was 14, I had a friend from out of town come stay with me for a week. I hadn't told her anything whatsoever about the house because I didn't think she would come if I did. Right after she got there we were sitting in my room and she left to go to the bathroom. About a minute later she walked back in with a puzzled look on her face and said "So, there's a little girl in your bathroom". "Um, I, yeah she hangs out in there. Blond hair?" "Curls? Pink dress? Yeah. You know that's not really a little girl, don't you?" I almost threw up. I was so relieved and terrified and excited and ready to run out of the house screaming. She wouldn't use my bathroom the rest of the week and I started using it as little as possible without pissing off my parents (who did not want to believe).

Eventually we moved out and I could not have been happier. I distanced myself from it mentally as much as I could. Then, when I was 18, I took another friend on a road trip to pack up a few things I'd left in the house (my parents hadn't managed to sell it, and wouldn't for 5 more years). The minute we got on the property, my friend seemed uncomfortable. When we came around the bend in the long, steep driveway, he went completely white. I could tell something was wrong, but he insisted he was OK, so we got to work. After a while he asked to use the bathroom and I directed him to mine. Not 20 seconds after he left, he came running back in, gasping for breath, andand slammed the bedroom door behind him. He started babbling about a little blond girl who isn't really a little girl. All of a sudden he went dead still, looked me in the eye, and very solemnly said "She's not happy. With you. You left, and you weren't supposed to". We threw whatever we could grab in two trips in my car (after I walked him to another bathroom and waited outside the door) and got the fuck out at top speed.


_____________________________________________________________________________

According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee?should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get?its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care?what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.?Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!?Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry??- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening??- I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father?paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.?We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.?- Ow! That’s me!
- Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.?- Bye!
Barry, I told you,?stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.?- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel??- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,?three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took?a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.?- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie??- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral??- No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,?sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.?Such a hothead.
I guess he could have?just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating?an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…?under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.?- We are!
- Bee-men.?- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity?graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career?at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas?inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it’ll be like??- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,?a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,?have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you?can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen?Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,?scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive?golden glow you know as…
Honey!
- That girl was hot.?- She’s my cousin!
- She is??- Yes, we’re all cousins.
- Right. You’re right.?- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect?of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing?a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes??- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,?the Krelman.
- What does that do??- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.?Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are?small ones. But bees know
that every small job,?if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job?you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life??I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,?as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”?How can you say that?
One job forever??That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have?to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they?never have told us that?
Why would you question anything??We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly?functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things?work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know?what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.?Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!?- Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like?outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
- Hey, Jocks!?- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!?You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.?- I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows?where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen?Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen?than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.?Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it?and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies??Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.?- Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous?being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me?against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,?and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!?- I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,?wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch?six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh??- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,?but maybe you’re not up for it.
- Maybe I am.?- You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy??Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends?on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
- Well, there’s a lot of choices.?- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored?doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just?move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.?It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,?the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field?just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,?making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job?for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure?he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.?- I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going?into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You’re gonna be a stirrer??- No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.?I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.?Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get?a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
- We’re starting work today!?- Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs?will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,?stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
- Is it still available??- Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!?Step to the side.
- What’d you get??- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first??- No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,?not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman??- Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See??He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.?Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,?stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,?lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what?do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch?in quadrant nine…
What happened to you??Where are you?
- I’m going out.?- Out? Out where?
- Out there.?- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go?to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,?there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.?- Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.?- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,?bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,?watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,?birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports?of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,?babbling like a cicada!
- That’s awful.?- And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,?absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,?buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.?- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.?- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,?you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.?We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.?It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close??- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it?over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.?See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more?flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.?Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers?seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting?a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.?Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!?- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him??- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,?because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
- Do something!?- I’m driving!
- Hi, bee.?- He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,?he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level?out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close?the window please?
Ken, could you close?the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.?I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.?This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special?skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.?They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re?flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun?having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.?At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!?This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have?less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value?than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You?don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.?It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out?is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night??- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there.?- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories.?- Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.?I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.?You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it??“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
- You’re talking.?- Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.?I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this?is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.?I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed?to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.?It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I’m talking with a bee.?- Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.?And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.?I’ll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that??- What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.?“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
- That’s very funny.?- Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,?we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something??- Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…?I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It’s just coffee.?- I hate to impose.
- Don’t be ridiculous!?- Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn’t.?- Have some.
- No, I can’t.?- Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where??- These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know?anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab?as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.?The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon??I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,?but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do??- Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or?a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really??- My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected?with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.?I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes??- Why not?
- It’s like putting a hat on your knee.?- Maybe I’ll try that.
- You all right, ma'am??- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.?Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,?I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!?- Yeah.
All right. Well, then…?I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you?so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.?We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing.?- It was amazing!
It was the scariest,?happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe?you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!?What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.?They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV??- Some of them. But some of them don’t.
- How’d you get back??- Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw?whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you?can pick out yourjob and be normal.
- Well…?- Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!?- No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider??- I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,?with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.?You wouldn’t break a bee law.
- Her name’s Vanessa.?- Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking?to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!?One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!?And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
- They call it a crumb.?- It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.?That’s what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is??- No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.?They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!?- Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.?There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny?the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.?Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,?my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee.?- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!?Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions?to think about.
What life? You have no life!?You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you?to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.?Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
- We’re still here.?- I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me??- Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
- Where are you going??- I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade?of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,?that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded?by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses?compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.?How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you?run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.?All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV??That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.?It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.?It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.?You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.?Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
- What is wrong with you?!?- It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.?Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.?Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that?down to a science.
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.?- I’ll bet.
What in the name?of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here??Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
- Is he that actor??- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here??- For people. We eat it.
You don’t have?enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.?- How do you get it?
- Bees make it.?- I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.?You need a whole Krelman thing!
- It’s organic.?- It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!?This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,?hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!?I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom?of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
- You almost done??- Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,?with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.?So you can talk!
I can talk.?And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff??Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.?I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want?to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed?the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch?for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew?what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything?that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.?I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,?crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
- And you??- He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
- What is that?!?- Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!?- Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have?to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!?Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,?I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
- Bee!?- Moose blood guy!!
- You hear something??- Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,?as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes?is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
- Bees hang tight.?- We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.?Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble??- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.?See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.?You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,?get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave?the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys!?- Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y'all down here.?Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,?and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain?the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Oheck out the new smoker.?- Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.?Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this?knocks them right out.
They make the honey,?and we make the money.
“They make the honey,?and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re?in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.?We had no choice.
This is your queen??That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen?on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears?have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking?our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.?These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
- What??- Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.?And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.?- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.?Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want?to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.?Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you?coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.?You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it?in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
- That would hurt.?- No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting?the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only?full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
- Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.?- And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race?for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting?from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in?our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,?out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid?from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid?to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus??Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking?of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community?is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial?of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King?in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show?and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the?guest even though you just heard ‘em.
Bear Week next week!?They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,?squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack?at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!?I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.?Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee??- Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.?- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size?ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go?‘cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.?You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here?has been a huge help.
- Frosting…?- How many sugars?
Just one. I try not?to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people?are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!?- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse?than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up?for it a little bit.
- This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.?- I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with?the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”?without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene?here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,?because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves?if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans?don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational?food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay?behind the barricade.
- What’s the matter??- I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable?Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,?Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing?the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing?all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,?we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,?your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed?it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty?of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world?Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate?with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture?Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!?Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,?there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.?Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.?We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it?with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are?some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
‘cause we’re the little guys!?I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,?you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that?all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden?of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own?Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers?for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that?to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ?any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.?- I couldn’t hear you.
- No.?- No.
Because you don’t free bees.?You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be?an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing?through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!?Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.?Your name intrigues me.
- Where have I heard it before??- I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been?a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here?we have yet another example
of bee culture casually?stolen by a human
for nothing more than?a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling?a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,?belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot?on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume?that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil?that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this?what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees?so you don’t
have to rehearse?your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!?I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.?This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on?this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court!?- You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
- Say it!?- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice?of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
- Ken!?- Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.?I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,?so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.?I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.?The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.?Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with?chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find?the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,?but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what?I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor?for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
- What’s that??- Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is?your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!?This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
- You’re bluffing.?- Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!?I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be?the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!?Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging?me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding?on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial?sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got?an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind?of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.?Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery?is about out of ideas.
We would like to call?Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s?considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve?gotta weave some magic
with this jury,?or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have?to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them?of what they don’t like about bees.
- You got the tweezers??- Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you?what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
- Good friends??- Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.?From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth?to all the bee children?
- Yeah, but…?- So those aren’t your real parents!
- Oh, Barry…?- Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,?aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y'all date your cousins?
- Objection!?- I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom?is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled?by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them?like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing?they know! It’s their way!
- Adam, stay with me.?- I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy?will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees?versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal?team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy.?- Hey.
- Is there much pain??- Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is?you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria?downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s?a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…?and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.?I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re?just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us?if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.?That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,?but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse?to close that window?
- Why??- The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!?But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.?Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,?we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,?haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough?of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow?these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling?evidence to support their charges
against my clients,?who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal?of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider?Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof??Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!?You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this??This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,?let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,?“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted?to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves?to the white man?
- What are we gonna do??- He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,?free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey?will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have?to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion?of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,?and I have no pants.
- What if Montgomery’s right??- What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way?a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.?What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown?of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey?that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification?of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,?bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware?of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous?for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate?bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey?in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human?tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,?and there’s gallons more coming!
- I think we need to shut down!?- Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.?Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe?how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
- Are they out celebrating??- They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.?Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way?to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans?liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!?I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my?new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand?why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.?Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea?what’s going on, do you?
- What did you want to show me??- This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make?honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.?Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects?the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,?couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
- I’ll sting you, you step on me.?- Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…?sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving??Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade?in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend?because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance?I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.?I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.?Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
- Roses are flowers!?- Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.?That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.?Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.?This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.?I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.?I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s?greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,?the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant?and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got?back here with what we’ve got.
- Bees.?- Park.
- Pollen!?- Flowers.
- Repollination!?- Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,?Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing?but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,?we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,?and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
- Where should I sit??- What are you?
- I believe I’m the pea.?- The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.?- I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!?This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do?is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,?there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
- You and your insect pack your float??- Yes.
Has it been?in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
- Remove your stinger.?- It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.?Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have?just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We?have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,?this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather?in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience?a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers?with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there?and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help?with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking?inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
- What’d you say, Hal??- Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
- Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!?- Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.?This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B?please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,?a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,?they’re both unconscious!
- Is that another bee joke??- No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.?What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.?I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,?and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard?have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who’s that??- Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more?than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
- Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot??- Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!?We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some?late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene?is developing.
Barry Benson,?fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,?loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area?and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.?There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson?and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee?shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings?and body mass make no sense.”
- Get this on the air!?- Got it.
- Stand by.?- We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees?doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,?it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.?To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees?back to working together.
That’s the bee way!?We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow!?- Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
- Hover??- Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.?Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were?on autopilot the whole time.
- That may have been helping me.?- And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get?behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,?you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!?We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate?with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.?You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it!?- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!?- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!?- You snap out of it!
- Hold it!?- Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers?for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow.?- Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can?on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
- Thinking bee.?- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.?I think I’m feeling something.
- What??- I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- What in the world is on the tarmac??- Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- Vanessa, aim for the flower.?- OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in?on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
- Not that flower! The other one!?- Which one?
- That flower.?- I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.?I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
- This is insane, Barry!?- This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane?flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.?Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!?You taught me how to fly!
- Yes. No high-five!?- Right.
Barry, it worked!?Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course?I saw the flower! That was genius!
- Thank you.?- But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered?with the last pollen
from the last flowers?available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,?pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,?this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust?Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect?fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs?to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be?working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great?afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that??It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.?And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel?like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.?Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me??My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.?All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,?and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.?Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.?Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!?It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
- When will this nightmare end?!?- Let it all go.
- Beautiful day to fly.?- Sure is.
Between you and me,?I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got?to start thinking bee, my friend.
- Thinking bee!?- Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop?for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.?Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision?during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.?Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

______________________________________


According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee?should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get?its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care?what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.?Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!?Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry??- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening??- I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father?paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.?We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.?- Ow! That’s me!
- Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.?- Bye!
Barry, I told you,?stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.?- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel??- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,?three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took?a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.?- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie??- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral??- No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,?sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.?Such a hothead.
I guess he could have?just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating?an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…?under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.?- We are!
- Bee-men.?- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity?graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career?at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas?inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it’ll be like??- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,?a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,?have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you?can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen?Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,?scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive?golden glow you know as…
Honey!
- That girl was hot.?- She’s my cousin!
- She is??- Yes, we’re all cousins.
- Right. You’re right.?- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect?of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing?a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes??- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,?the Krelman.
- What does that do??- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.?Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are?small ones. But bees know
that every small job,?if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job?you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life??I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,?as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”?How can you say that?
One job forever??That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have?to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they?never have told us that?
Why would you question anything??We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly?functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things?work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know?what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.?Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!?- Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like?outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
- Hey, Jocks!?- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!?You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.?- I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows?where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen?Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen?than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.?Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it?and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies??Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.?- Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous?being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me?against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,?and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!?- I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,?wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch?six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh??- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,?but maybe you’re not up for it.
- Maybe I am.?- You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy??Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends?on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
- Well, there’s a lot of choices.?- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored?doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just?move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.?It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,?the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field?just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,?making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job?for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure?he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.?- I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going?into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You’re gonna be a stirrer??- No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.?I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.?Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get?a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
- We’re starting work today!?- Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs?will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,?stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
- Is it still available??- Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!?Step to the side.
- What’d you get??- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first??- No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,?not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman??- Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See??He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.?Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,?stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,?lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what?do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch?in quadrant nine…
What happened to you??Where are you?
- I’m going out.?- Out? Out where?
- Out there.?- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go?to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,?there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.?- Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.?- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,?bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,?watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,?birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports?of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,?babbling like a cicada!
- That’s awful.?- And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,?absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,?buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.?- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.?- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,?you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.?We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.?It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close??- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it?over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.?See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more?flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.?Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers?seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting?a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.?Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!?- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him??- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,?because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
- Do something!?- I’m driving!
- Hi, bee.?- He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,?he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level?out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close?the window please?
Ken, could you close?the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.?I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.?This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special?skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.?They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re?flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun?having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.?At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!?This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have?less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value?than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You?don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.?It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out?is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night??- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there.?- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories.?- Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.?I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.?You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it??“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
- You’re talking.?- Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.?I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this?is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.?I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed?to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.?It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I’m talking with a bee.?- Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.?And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.?I’ll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that??- What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.?“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
- That’s very funny.?- Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,?we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something??- Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…?I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It’s just coffee.?- I hate to impose.
- Don’t be ridiculous!?- Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn’t.?- Have some.
- No, I can’t.?- Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where??- These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know?anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab?as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.?The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon??I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,?but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do??- Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or?a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really??- My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected?with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.?I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes??- Why not?
- It’s like putting a hat on your knee.?- Maybe I’ll try that.
- You all right, ma'am??- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.?Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,?I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!?- Yeah.
All right. Well, then…?I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you?so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.?We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing.?- It was amazing!
It was the scariest,?happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe?you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!?What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.?They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV??- Some of them. But some of them don’t.
- How’d you get back??- Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw?whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you?can pick out yourjob and be normal.
- Well…?- Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!?- No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider??- I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,?with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.?You wouldn’t break a bee law.
- Her name’s Vanessa.?- Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking?to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!?One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!?And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
- They call it a crumb.?- It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.?That’s what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is??- No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.?They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!?- Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.?There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny?the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.?Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,?my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee.?- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!?Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions?to think about.
What life? You have no life!?You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you?to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.?Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
- We’re still here.?- I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me??- Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
- Where are you going??- I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade?of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,?that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded?by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses?compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.?How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you?run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.?All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV??That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.?It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.?It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.?You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.?Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
- What is wrong with you?!?- It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.?Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.?Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that?down to a science.
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.?- I’ll bet.
What in the name?of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here??Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
- Is he that actor??- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here??- For people. We eat it.
You don’t have?enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.?- How do you get it?
- Bees make it.?- I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.?You need a whole Krelman thing!
- It’s organic.?- It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!?This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,?hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!?I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom?of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
- You almost done??- Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,?with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.?So you can talk!
I can talk.?And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff??Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.?I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want?to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed?the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch?for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew?what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything?that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.?I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,?crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
- And you??- He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
- What is that?!?- Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!?- Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have?to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!?Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,?I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
- Bee!?- Moose blood guy!!
- You hear something??- Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,?as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes?is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
- Bees hang tight.?- We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.?Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble??- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.?See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.?You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,?get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave?the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys!?- Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y'all down here.?Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,?and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain?the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Oheck out the new smoker.?- Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.?Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this?knocks them right out.
They make the honey,?and we make the money.
“They make the honey,?and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re?in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.?We had no choice.
This is your queen??That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen?on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears?have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking?our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.?These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
- What??- Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.?And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.?- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.?Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want?to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.?Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you?coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.?You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it?in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
- That would hurt.?- No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting?the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only?full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
- Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.?- And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race?for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting?from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in?our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,?out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid?from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid?to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus??Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking?of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community?is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial?of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King?in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show?and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the?guest even though you just heard ‘em.
Bear Week next week!?They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,?squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack?at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!?I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.?Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee??- Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.?- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size?ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go?‘cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.?You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here?has been a huge help.
- Frosting…?- How many sugars?
Just one. I try not?to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people?are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!?- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse?than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up?for it a little bit.
- This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.?- I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with?the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”?without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene?here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,?because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves?if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans?don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational?food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay?behind the barricade.
- What’s the matter??- I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable?Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,?Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing?the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing?all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,?we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,?your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed?it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty?of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world?Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate?with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture?Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!?Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,?there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.?Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.?We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it?with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are?some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
‘cause we’re the little guys!?I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,?you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that?all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden?of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own?Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers?for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that?to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ?any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.?- I couldn’t hear you.
- No.?- No.
Because you don’t free bees.?You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be?an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing?through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!?Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.?Your name intrigues me.
- Where have I heard it before??- I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been?a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here?we have yet another example
of bee culture casually?stolen by a human
for nothing more than?a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling?a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,?belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot?on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume?that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil?that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this?what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees?so you don’t
have to rehearse?your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!?I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.?This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on?this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court!?- You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
- Say it!?- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice?of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
- Ken!?- Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.?I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,?so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.?I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.?The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.?Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with?chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find?the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,?but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what?I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor?for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
- What’s that??- Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is?your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!?This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
- You’re bluffing.?- Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!?I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be?the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!?Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging?me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding?on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial?sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got?an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind?of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.?Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery?is about out of ideas.
We would like to call?Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s?considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve?gotta weave some magic
with this jury,?or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have?to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them?of what they don’t like about bees.
- You got the tweezers??- Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you?what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
- Good friends??- Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.?From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth?to all the bee children?
- Yeah, but…?- So those aren’t your real parents!
- Oh, Barry…?- Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,?aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y'all date your cousins?
- Objection!?- I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom?is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled?by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them?like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing?they know! It’s their way!
- Adam, stay with me.?- I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy?will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees?versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal?team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy.?- Hey.
- Is there much pain??- Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is?you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria?downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s?a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…?and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.?I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re?just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us?if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.?That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,?but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse?to close that window?
- Why??- The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!?But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.?Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,?we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,?haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough?of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow?these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling?evidence to support their charges
against my clients,?who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal?of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider?Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof??Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!?You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this??This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,?let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,?“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted?to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves?to the white man?
- What are we gonna do??- He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,?free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey?will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have?to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion?of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,?and I have no pants.
- What if Montgomery’s right??- What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way?a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.?What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown?of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey?that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification?of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,?bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware?of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous?for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate?bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey?in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human?tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,?and there’s gallons more coming!
- I think we need to shut down!?- Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.?Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe?how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
- Are they out celebrating??- They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.?Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way?to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans?liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!?I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my?new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand?why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.?Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea?what’s going on, do you?
- What did you want to show me??- This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make?honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.?Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects?the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,?couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
- I’ll sting you, you step on me.?- Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…?sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving??Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade?in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend?because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance?I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.?I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.?Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
- Roses are flowers!?- Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.?That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.?Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.?This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.?I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.?I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s?greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,?the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant?and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got?back here with what we’ve got.
- Bees.?- Park.
- Pollen!?- Flowers.
- Repollination!?- Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,?Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing?but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,?we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,?and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
- Where should I sit??- What are you?
- I believe I’m the pea.?- The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.?- I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!?This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do?is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,?there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
- You and your insect pack your float??- Yes.
Has it been?in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
- Remove your stinger.?- It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.?Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have?just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We?have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,?this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather?in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience?a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers?with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there?and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help?with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking?inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
- What’d you say, Hal??- Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
- Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!?- Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.?This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B?please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,?a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,?they’re both unconscious!
- Is that another bee joke??- No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.?What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.?I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,?and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard?have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who’s that??- Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more?than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
- Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot??- Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!?We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some?late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene?is developing.
Barry Benson,?fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,?loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area?and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.?There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson?and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee?shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings?and body mass make no sense.”
- Get this on the air!?- Got it.
- Stand by.?- We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees?doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,?it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.?To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees?back to working together.
That’s the bee way!?We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow!?- Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
- Hover??- Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.?Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were?on autopilot the whole time.
- That may have been helping me.?- And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get?behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,?you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!?We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate?with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.?You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it!?- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!?- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!?- You snap out of it!
- Hold it!?- Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers?for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow.?- Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can?on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
- Thinking bee.?- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.?I think I’m feeling something.
- What??- I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- What in the world is on the tarmac??- Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!?Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- Vanessa, aim for the flower.?- OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in?on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
- Not that flower! The other one!?- Which one?
- That flower.?- I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.?I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
- This is insane, Barry!?- This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane?flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.?Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!?You taught me how to fly!
- Yes. No high-five!?- Right.
Barry, it worked!?Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course?I saw the flower! That was genius!
- Thank you.?- But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered?with the last pollen
from the last flowers?available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,?pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,?this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust?Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect?fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs?to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be?working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great?afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that??It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.?And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel?like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.?Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me??My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.?All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,?and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.?Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.?Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!?It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
- When will this nightmare end?!?- Let it all go.
- Beautiful day to fly.?- Sure is.
Between you and me,?I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got?to start thinking bee, my friend.
- Thinking bee!?- Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop?for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.?Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision?during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.?Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.


______________________________________

LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH



______________________________________


that would be bad. mining was bad


_________________________________

want to change mind about mining. please advise
______________________________________


we want to admire alice anyway.
______________________________________


expect adverse effect to peggy from 294 but if needed maybe

might also cause reverse

______________________________________

is admiring sam possible


______________________________________


that would be great
even better for peggy if it happens without alice delivering
______________________________________


DEFCON 2 – Further increase in force readiness, but less than maximum readiness – Two weeks or until lynch.
a) The Russians gains the following factional ability: Stealth Bomber: In order to defend yourself against the Americans, your military aerospace engineers have outfitted the Russian Air Force with the cutting edge in stealth technology. You are capable of conducting air strikes anywhere in the world with precise and deadly force. {Each night, you may kill target player.}

______________________________________


peggy admire neil ?


______________________________________

irene george

_______________________________________


should xavier do something
_____________________________________

excited to see how this jogs

lucy in the sky with diamonds

____________________________________

if you catch my drift
_____________________________________


Possible useful eavesdrops:

Spoiler:
please don't piss people off or you'll be nuked until you glow

_________________________________________________________

who should be applauded

________________________________________________________

xavier frank tom laura

________________________________________________________

peggy: maybe alice?

____________________________________________________

http://i.imgur.com/Byslw9Z.gif

______________________________________________________
yankee golf yankee kilo golf romeo november papa

______________________________________________

romeo november golf charlie oscar delta echo

________________________________________________



LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH LYNCH


______________________________________


that would be bad. mining was bad


_________________________________

want to change mind about mining. please advise
______________________________________


we want to admire alice anyway.
______________________________________


expect adverse effect to peggy from 294 but if needed maybe

might also cause reverse

______________________________________

is admiring sam possible


______________________________________


that would be great
even better for peggy if it happens without alice delivering
______________________________________


DEFCON 2 – Further increase in force readiness, but less than maximum readiness – Two weeks or until lynch.
a) The Russians gains the following factional ability: Stealth Bomber: In order to defend yourself against the Americans, your military aerospace engineers have outfitted the Russian Air Force with the cutting edge in stealth technology. You are capable of conducting air strikes anywhere in the world with precise and deadly force. {Each night, you may kill target player.}

______________________________________


peggy admire neil ?


______________________________________

irene george

_______________________________________


should xavier do something
_____________________________________

excited to see how this jogs

lucy in the sky with diamonds

____________________________________

if you catch my drift
_____________________________________
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Post Post #3272 (isolation #79) » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:35 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 3262, Untrod Tripod wrote:Now that Fate is dead we can have auditions for auctioning off my nuke
I bid my vote + an awfully written song about how cool u r.

I regret going for eavesdrop now.

Mistakes were made.
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Post Post #3296 (isolation #80) » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:50 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Looking into it. This time around I clicked save on my txt doc I was using to copy paste stuff into and it said something about unicode characters...
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Post Post #3314 (isolation #81) » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:05 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

It has something to do with unicode characters that are lost when you save a text doc (before I was just copying everything, checking it, and then pasting into the thread)

I'll update it so it looks correctly later.
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Post Post #3662 (isolation #82) » Fri Dec 02, 2016 4:00 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

On my tablet, will post my normal update of this tomorrow, but here are the new drops:

Like kelly for SK

___________________

im afraid of mining but robert is ok

_______________________

mining won't yield ore for a while

__________________________

yes to 442
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Post Post #3663 (isolation #83) » Fri Dec 02, 2016 4:04 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Can someone spray paint my name on thier nuke?

Also, im sure its unlikely, but maybe possible:

I'm assuming because of the eavesdrops, that the scum made up a list of names for everyone. I'm wondering if its possible when they did so they kept them gender specific? (girl names for girls, boy names for boys)
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Post Post #4362 (isolation #84) » Mon Dec 05, 2016 2:22 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Busy reading up, will have some actual thoughts later today.

Meanwhile:


__________________________________
bob as planned if your guess is as good as mine

__________________________________

they held fire

__________________________________

waiter out. you know what to do.

__________________________________

confirming that robert frost was a great poet

__________________________________

not xavier?
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Post Post #4523 (isolation #85) » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:00 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

I have more comming, but I cant keep up with the game writing all my thoughts, so here is some, more to come. Obviously ignore the nuke thoughts since waht just ahppened!

I was a little worried that scum!ircher was trying to show "distancing" to implicate scum!vaxkiller with these comments, but I think the more likely scenario is Ircher just not being able to read me because of my recent activity. I'm throwing him in my town pile.

Spoiler:
In post 4216, Ircher wrote:
In post 4152, xRECKONERx wrote:OH YEAH vaxkiller is leaking shit. hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

i think that makes vax town if he went for the eavesdropper. because duh, why would scum be encrypting shit in that case

i suppose it could be an elaborate rouse but that's a problem for future reck to decide

for now remove vaxkiller from my list

i feel pretty confident we'd hit scum among: SpyreX, Nahdia, McMenno, and GreyICE. (given current flips. if any other flips are scum then hoooo boy RIP russian scum team)

there's 3 scum left yeah?
Its a pretty towncred move to make, esp. when it can make vax look busy. Cuz thats ALL that Vax has been doing since the claim, so that carries some suspicion w/ it.
In post 3667, Ircher wrote:Ok, that may be a misrep.... Vaxkiller, please be a bit more useful by posting more than just the contents of eavesdrops.
In post 3665, Ircher wrote:Vaxkiller, please stop being useless and do something besides post the eavesdrops.
In post 4317, Ircher wrote:LLD claimed fallout shelter I do believe and I would like to know the reason why; I'd be ok with a lynch there but it's definitely not one of my top choices.

Vax and McMenno are the ones I want dead. Vax because he is only giving the eavesdrop info and nothing else. McMenno because he's a troll, he's doing nothing useful, and I think this is his scum game though there is no conclusive way to prove such; call it a gut read if you will.

Accountant had a strong start imo but that has weakened as the game progressed. Still don't want to lynch there.


LLD latest posts are pretty awful. She is begging to be investigated, and claims THAT makes her town. Uhhh no. What makes you town is posting to help benefit town.

Spoiler:
In post 2834, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:I volunteer to be investigated
In post 2837, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:People have a hard time reading me and are currently incorrectly reading me.

I'm more than happy to be an investigation target, given how polarizing I can be.
In post 2839, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:I've already mentioned I don't care how people read me.

That being said, I have ~super secret reasons~ for wanting to be investigated, that are worth people like you being paranoid about me being an SK over.
In post 2845, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:Also, why would I ever volunteer to be searched as SK.

I can tell you what optimal play for SK me is really easily.

Grab immunity to night kills, grab immunity to nukes, focus on not being lynched, don't care about other powers.
In post 2847, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:
In post 2846, Untrod Tripod wrote:probably because you're not dumb and know he is fakeclaiming scum and therefore would just say "yeah LLD is town"

wtf dude
That wasn't an invitation for just our claimed person to do it.

I fully endorsed any potentially unclaimed cops to ALSO investigate me.


^ The last quoted post is the worst yet from her, asking ALL cops to investigate her. ^

Hey guys investigate me too! I want to be cleared just like LLD! - Vaxkiller aka Towny Mc-Supertown Townerson

I kinda doubt LLD is the SK tho, more likely scum. LLD would be posting up a storm "leaking" crap out via mod.

I've been thinking alot about that actually. I'm not seeing any "leaked" messages from the SK. This makes me wonder if the SK is new and is not even aware that its there, Or the SK is worried about being found out through thier use of language because they talk in a way that could be found out.

Does the SK's troop of choice take that troop out the pool of choices? If so the SK has to claim Silo.

Looked at Nukebringers iso, not sure why mcmeno stopped his nuke, I don't find him particularly towny. Did I miss something in his iso?

I did like this tho:
In post 4166, Nukebringer wrote:Look at Vaxkiller's leaks. That's not mastina's voice.
This was meh:
In post 4357, Nukebringer wrote:
In post 4355, Cheetory6 wrote:Nuke is there something tangible about McMenno that you're confident about in terms of him not being scum?
he recalled on me.
that was good enough.
Don't you think it could be a scum ploy to get some town cred? He is high on the lynch list.

@Magna. I follow your on Ircher, but im not on board yet.




Mcmeno is my 2nd choice for lynch after LLD.







Cheetory is town.
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Post Post #4531 (isolation #86) » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:04 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Sigh...
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Post Post #4543 (isolation #87) » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:15 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 4532, Cephrir wrote:i'm sorry, that was meaner than i meant it to be.
It's ok. I'm going to keep trying anyway.

Sucks tho, I feel pretty strongly about LLD, but no one is going to care, cause its me.
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Post Post #4547 (isolation #88) » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:17 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 2397, Nukebringer wrote:He's a sort later kind of guy, but the fact he's getting so much pressure so early on for basically no fucking reason is making me just on policy alone read him as town. I might not have read HIS posts, but I've at least skimmed if not read the "cases" against him, and my thoughts on those were THOROUGHLY, "meh". As in, they did literally nothing at all to make me think the case was even pointing out anything remotely scummy. At all. So as far as I'm concerned. There's no good reason to lynch him. There's CERTAINLY no reason he should be lynched over players like LLD, UT, Ircher, and RC.
Can't tell if LLD is lumped together with all the town players, or she actually might be town....
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Post Post #4742 (isolation #89) » Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:43 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

VOTE: LLD
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Post Post #4955 (isolation #90) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:41 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

hiplop your nuke on me is friggin awful. Reasons?

Cephir really looks town to me.

Can you guys really now see through LLD's play? She wants to slaughter everyone... to prove who is and who isn't town. Shes doing the math and trying to end this game tonight. She has the scummiest claim and her play has been to tunnel mastina the entire time! Look through her voting history. Its almost all mastina. She voted myself and SAD for a short time as well.

VOTE: LLD
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Post Post #4957 (isolation #91) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:45 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

I'd say the SK, which makes hiplop town. Which is though because I really don't like his play either.
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Post Post #4958 (isolation #92) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:46 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

I mean she BEGGED to be investigated, then patted herself on the back and said "would scum beg to be investigated?"
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Post Post #4959 (isolation #93) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:48 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

EBWOP post 4957 should say "tough" instead of "though"
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Post Post #4961 (isolation #94) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:49 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 4950, MagnaofIllusion wrote:LLD is not the Terrorist (Blocked by Reck on a Night the Terrorist Nightkill went through).

Well shes not the SK I guess
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Post Post #4963 (isolation #95) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:51 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Do you really think her play is town? Tunneling mastina the entire game, begging to be investigated by everyone, then claiming it was a town action to do so. Picking a scummy deployment. Looking to kill people to prove others are town?
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Post Post #4964 (isolation #96) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:52 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 4962, MagnaofIllusion wrote:So ... have any Eavesdrops to share Vax?
Guess that all im good for.

only one:
_________________________
make sure to unearth this one
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Post Post #4967 (isolation #97) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 7:01 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 4966, MagnaofIllusion wrote:What about her deployment is inherently scummy? And what do you think of Spyrex's choice?
Could go either way really. As town we put ourselves out there to be judged, and LLD's choice shows a fear of that.

You COULD argue that she has an abrasive personality and she chose that as a buffer for it, but I don't buy it.
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Post Post #4971 (isolation #98) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 7:53 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 4868, Cephrir wrote:I took doc. It's one of my favorite roles.

I'm usually pretty good at guessing scum kills. Surprised the scum tried to waste their kill. Go ahead and flame me if you want, but I can't undo it.

Pedit: The fuck you was more important.
Of course it raises eyebrows. But this seems believable to me, and he has been actively scum hunting all game.

Edit: well... here is something I found that MAY contradict my above beliefs.

See my eavesdrop post for details on eavesdrops


__________________
is admiring sam possible
___________________

Could this eavessdrop be cephir saying

"Can I target myself with doc?"
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Post Post #4972 (isolation #99) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 7:58 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

What other ability could go there? Its possible tehy are asking soemthign else, but I'm trying to make sense of this.
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Post Post #4974 (isolation #100) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:08 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Which troop is that?
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Post Post #4975 (isolation #101) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:13 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

hiplop, stop your nuke already
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Post Post #4978 (isolation #102) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:26 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 4974, Vaxkiller wrote:Which troop is that?
NM

I see its airbase.

That seems to make sense that they might be talking about the ascetic role.
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Post Post #4979 (isolation #103) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:29 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

If hiplop doesn't stop his nuke, hes likely the SK. Other than that I still want LLD dead, with cephir being my second choice.

I still want to think more about the admiring comments from the scum.
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Post Post #4992 (isolation #104) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:07 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

peggy: maybe alice?
____________________________________________________

we want to admire alice anyway.
______________________________________

expect adverse effect to peggy from 294 but if needed maybe

might also cause reverse
______________________________________

is admiring sam possible

______________________________________

that would be great
even better for peggy if it happens without alice delivering
______________________________________

peggy admire neil ?


Peggy is clearly scum, because they are talking about using an ability. This ability and peggy appears over a wide time and my guess is that they are still alive, and only peggy can admire, so is a troop of some sort.

So what troops are still active that people could have a question about their target (is admiring sam possible)
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Post Post #4995 (isolation #105) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:13 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

If I had to take a guess Alice is also scum as they are referred to over a long period of time, and it seems to indicated the peggy would be targeting Alice with said ability more than once.
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Post Post #4997 (isolation #106) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:16 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Which makes the ability likely the doc... Guys seriously, give this some consideration.

VOTE: cephir
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Post Post #5003 (isolation #107) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:20 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Ugh I just realized cephir has a nuke launched at him.
UNVOTE:
Let me think about what this means for possible scum partners.

No, theya re over a period of time. See
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Post Post #5028 (isolation #108) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:44 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5004, Nahdia wrote:Vax, many troops could have a question as to their target. Battleship, Covert Ops, Counterintelligence all do and they're still in play. Not to mention admiring could just mean
nuking
, or it could mean the night kill.
I don't buy it. Peggy and alice both appear over time putting nuke in there just doesnt seem to fit. They would refer to them once and done (they would die) I think peggy and alice are both likely scum. All this is likely for naught however because cephir is getting nuked anyway.

Mastina, if your sam, your not sam because its close to your name. From waht I've eavesdropped the scum seem to ahve random names for everyone, it wouldnt make sense to make up nicknames that might correspond with them...
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Post Post #5041 (isolation #109) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 11:04 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

I don't think that launch should have been aborted. I'm still trying to follow the logic that mastia responded to, but i have to get home, will be posting later tonight. hiplop for the love of all that is mighty you need to cancel that shit. If he doesn't, kill hiplop for me.
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Post Post #5084 (isolation #110) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:47 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Why don't you explain why it is?
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Post Post #5087 (isolation #111) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:54 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Mastina, I really think Nahdia is town. My top vote is still LLD. If I had to pick one of your combos I would pick LLD-Spyrex
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Post Post #5107 (isolation #112) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:36 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5098, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:Why would I, someone who is now confirmed to not be the serial killer, beg to be investigated by GiF as "Russian/Not Russian" for literally 3 days.
Since day 1, when GiF claimed, I've asked to be investigated. Why? Because my role is scummy as shit and I've laid out all that logic..
You cannot argue I' gambittting that GiF won't investigate me, because why would I ever take that risk? It makes no sense

This argument is awful. You beg to be investigated and it makes you town?
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Post Post #5120 (isolation #113) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:40 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Do you think im scum LLD?
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Post Post #5121 (isolation #114) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:41 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Because I asked to be investigated just like you. Oh shit that makes me town!
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Post Post #5127 (isolation #115) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:47 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5123, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:When? Was it ever publically discussed or last 3 straight days?

I mean there's a difference between "lul let me ask it'll never happen"

and asking day in and day out to investigate me since day fucking 1
If you think that makes you town you are quite the silly goose.
In post 4523, Vaxkiller wrote:Hey guys investigate me too! I want to be cleared just like LLD! - Vaxkiller aka Towny Mc-Supertown Townerson
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Post Post #5134 (isolation #116) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:54 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Where the hell is hoplop? I know hes going to show up tomorrow and be like:

"Oh Im so sorry I was busy and I launched a nuke and didnt have time to check on the game to see if I should cancel it."
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Post Post #5135 (isolation #117) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:55 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5118, Lady Lambdadelta wrote:Vaxkiller you fucking oblivious moron.
I'm sure that's attacking the play and not the player.
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Post Post #5199 (isolation #118) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 4:56 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5189, Cheetory6 wrote:
Nuke: hiplop
ty
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Post Post #5222 (isolation #119) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 5:08 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5209, Cephrir wrote:
In post 4955, Vaxkiller wrote:Cephir really looks town to me.
How the fuck does this change in 4 pages of me not posting
read on, its a roller coaster for me too.
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Post Post #5230 (isolation #120) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 5:12 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5216, Cephrir wrote:
In post 4979, Vaxkiller wrote:If hiplop doesn't stop his nuke, hes likely the SK. Other than that I still want LLD dead, with cephir being my second choice.

I still want to think more about the admiring comments from the scum.
I am just quoting this and not commenting because I'm already being somewhat toxic and there's no reason to compound it

rofl! I was like, why the fuck would I write that, that makes no sense. Took my a few min to figure it out. I am drunk tho....
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Post Post #5250 (isolation #121) » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:24 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5243, mastina wrote:There's a nuke headed his way, so I really shouldn't need to explain this, but if SpyreX did sabotage hiplop, he'll live and he shouldn't be lynched afterwards.
I hope your right, because hiplop sure as hell isn't coming back until its too late to call off his nuke.
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Post Post #5318 (isolation #122) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 2:27 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

That sucks cheet :(
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Post Post #5324 (isolation #123) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 2:49 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Probably my last eavesdrop:


_________________________________________
lmk if i should do anything else otherwise i won't

____________________________________
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Post Post #5328 (isolation #124) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 3:17 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

UNVOTE:
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Post Post #5329 (isolation #125) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 3:23 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Who types lmk instead of let me know? Am I crazy to think someone on the scum team is a phone poster?
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Post Post #5331 (isolation #126) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 3:46 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Yeah but he cant be scum. (SK)

So does MoI and Cheet
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Post Post #5375 (isolation #127) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 3:52 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Time is short my friends :(
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Post Post #5376 (isolation #128) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 4:52 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Spyrex, who did u sabatage?
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Post Post #5377 (isolation #129) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 4:53 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

hiplop, just come out of the sk closet, we will accept u
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Post Post #5385 (isolation #130) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 5:51 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5384, hiplop wrote:i literally have no reason to lie at this point it cant stop
Not now, y would u shoot it at me?
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Post Post #5386 (isolation #131) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 5:52 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Love how you come back jsut in time to see it land, instead of reading while its ahppening to gauge reactions
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Post Post #5388 (isolation #132) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 5:55 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

If spy were town he would have told us by now
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Post Post #5391 (isolation #133) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:00 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Whats the reason for not?

Am pepper.
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Post Post #5394 (isolation #134) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:07 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

In post 5393, GreyICE wrote:But really you two scumbags should take some fucking notes.
Maybe you should explain what you mean.
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Post Post #5415 (isolation #135) » Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:43 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

Ssssshhh.




Vaxkiller apologized via PM, not having noticed his own death. No further action required. -Andy
Last edited by Andrius on Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:47 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Post Post #6424 (isolation #136) » Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:05 pm

Post by Vaxkiller »

GG Glory to the motherland!

Glory to Arstotzka!

UT that was some nice playing.
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Jack of All Trades
Jack of All Trades
Posts: 9129
Joined: July 29, 2015

Post Post #6479 (isolation #137) » Mon Dec 19, 2016 2:55 am

Post by Vaxkiller »

Waiting for that nuke to land so I can see the flip. Need to know how to vote this...
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