Song Contest 143 (Results posted!)

[Dr Easy Bake]

Oh, I assumed you were going to tell us that it was so you could write reviews for your website, badtastes.com

[Cyril]

Oh yeah apparently I have the wrong link again like an idiot tool feel free to fix that

[Song Contest]

Oh yeah apparently I have the wrong link again like an idiot tool feel free to fix that

Fixed

[toolenduso]

I regularly get about a hundred albums a year

Anthony Fantano confirmed

best teeth in the game

[Cyril]

i only barely even watch fantano's stuff tbh he has crap taste in rock & metal

[Vi]

I've finished my first pass. I think this contest is slightly better than the last one but only because I'm gonna go full snowflake and give points to things everyone else is probably going to pass on.

uh cyril right now you're in line to get multiple points from me
make of that what you will

[Cyril]

Interesting

[Dr Easy Bake]

That Toad song is the banger we all needed.

[Vi]

That Toad song is the banger we all needed.

would you, in fact, bang to that song

[Looker]

Am I required to vote for myself as well?

[Dr Easy Bake]

That Toad song is the banger we all needed.

would you, in fact, bang to that song

Happily.

[PJ.]

Am I required to vote for myself as well?

I'm not sure I understand the question. Yes, you are required to vote. No, you aren't allowed to give points to yourself.

[Looker]

Am I required to vote for myself as well?

I'm not sure I understand the question. Yes, you are required to vote. No, you aren't allowed to give points to yourself.

Lol, you answered it. Thanks.

[Vi]

That Toad song is the banger we all needed.

would you, in fact, bang to that song

Happily.

Control questions:
*is there a song you would not bang to
*is there a song you would bang unhappily to

[Vi]

I've finished my second pass. I might move things around a little between now and when I actually vote depending on if I get pangs of guilt about my rankings, because while I tried to assign numerical rankings and order things properly my brain kept interrupting to ask why I hated it.

Spoiler: welp

|
|
===TIER: Way, way above the others

(12) Greenland -- Beta State {Timeless}

-- While this style isn't really me, it's up-tempo and mastered well (possibly just meaning loud; IDK). It grabbed me from the beginning and mostly held on. 4.6/6


===TIER: Look I think y'all deserve points

(10) Costa Rica -- of Montreal {We Will Commit Wolf Murder}

-- It feels like this song is doing its best to make something workable while disrespecting multiple standard techniques for not coming across as obnoxious. And yet... I don't hate this. I kind of unhate this. It's impressive like that. It's rated this highly because I find it engaging. 3.8/6

(8) Sealand -- Sirenia {Seti}

-- This is some early-mid-2000s video game vibe right here. It's too cliche to impress me and the melody synth is that early-mid-2000s kind of unnatural but at least I can listen to it, and in this contest that's where the bar is. 3.75/6

(7) Djibouti -- Jason Richardson & Luke Holland feat. Rick Graham {Hos Down}

-- This isn't my casual style either, but I acknowledge the musicianship (to such a degree that I feel like I'm cheapening it by only rating it here). The sudden country break was worth it (and by saying that I feel like I'm outing myself as someone who enjoyed The World's Most Unwanted Song). Since it's not my style, though, I feel I have to halfheartedly say it went on too long for my preference though. 3.7/6


===TIER: 10/10 it's ok

(6) Egypt -- Rina Sawayama {Cyber Stockholm Syndrome}

-- I feel like I'm not fashionable enough to understand this song. This is absolutely a song that other people will like, and I'm pretty sure this song will do well, but for my part I'm putting it this high because it's chill and I don't really hate it for any reason. Also I agree with the comment "petition to release on her vevo account and remaster the video". 3.6/6

(5) Croatia -- Damjan Mravunac {Virgo Serena}

-- This sure is an odd thing to submit to a song contest, but I'll still take it seriously. It's not something I'd want to listen to again, in part because it's honestly not that interesting, but at least it sounds good enough to not hate. I know if I give this points I'll murder my sheeple score and I'll deal with it; it wins head-to-head against the below because it feels soft. 3.5/6

(4) Chad -- The Deadly Syndrome {I Hope I Become A Ghost}

-- It sounds kind of decent. The vocals are ungood but at least the drum set is putting in work to make it feel like this isn't Song Contest hell. 3.46/6

(3) Liechenstein -- Sick Puppies {Odd One}

-- At least they're not Rabid Puppies? It's okay. Its message is reasonably well-executed. The sound's kind of unremarkable and it's too sappy to win ties. FEELAAAAAN and AAAAAAAAAAY are tiresome. 3.45/6


===TIER: Why is there still room to give points

(2) USA -- Ice Nine Kills {IT Is The End (ft. etc.)}

-- Clown growling is a genre, I suppose. It's so chaotic that it's hard to parse, and it kind of presupposes that you've already bought into the theme. It's well-made, although it's an open question if what was made was a good idea. This probably would have been better if it wasn't so dedicated to the whole post-hardcore thing and flipping between speaking and singing. Gets a score above white noise because I appreciate the use of saxophone. 3.15/6

(1) Iceland -- An Isolated Mind {Afraid of Dissonance}

-- Y'know, I kinda think I'm not surprised that you watch raocow.

But yeah I hated this from the first waveform

I'm trying to make any sense of this and turning up the volume doesn't bring the voice into any clearer definition. It's like listening to what the people in the next room over are blasting. It sounds okay, and while I feel like I should dislike it more it's so fuzzed that I can't bring myself to get worked up about it. Then it vanishes into white noise. It gets a rating that basically fits white noise. 3/6

Iran -- Saweetie {My Type}

-- Huh. Up until now I never considered that rhyme for "bigger". I'll do my best to forget about it by the time I finish this post. 2.8/6

San Marino -- Itchyworms {Beer}

-- I can't fault it for failing to deliver on the booze. 2.75/6

Turkey -- Eric Whitacre {Leonardo Dreams of His Flying Machine}

-- Okay, but

Eric Whitacre

? The guy who got band directors to think it would be a good idea to put a song called "Sleep" on their programs? The guy who composed Equus? I was around when October was a band meme... 2.45/6 or something, hard to rate but likely gets placed here due to head-to-head wins


===TIER: no plz

Hungary -- Ginuwine {Pony}

-- My entry feels attacked by your entry. :V 2.2/6

Spain -- Ambitious Lovers {Love Overlap}

-- 2.1/6

Comoros -- tricot {Potage}

-- 1.9/6

Australia -- Approachable Members of Your Local Community {Velcro}

-- 1.8/6

Ecuador -- Sub Urban {Cradles}

-- 1.7/6

Somalia -- Maylene and the Sons of Disaster {Memories of the Grove}

-- 1.45/6

Poland -- Two Gallants {Despite What You've Been Told}

-- 1.3/6


===TIER: you're welcome back but make sure you learn how to socialize while you're gone

Russia -- Toad {USSR Anthem}

-- Given the promise to not vote I refuse to rate vizIIsto's entry on principle, let alone put any effort into what I would rate it if I were going to. NA/6

Canada -- Brooks & Dunn {Boot Scootin' Boogie}

-- Y U P

This song is an iconic example of how this duo, Garth Brooks, and Randy Travis ran away with and remade the country genre in the early '90s. This song was legiterally so big that both me AND Amrun couldn't leave primary school without learning how to Boot Scoot. Apparently this was even true of some schools in Canada! Who says that schools don't teach our values? :^]

But this is actually a serious entry for a variety of reasons. This genre is basically unrepresented in Song Contests (that Brad Paisley entry doesn't count). It's short, up-tempo, and

very

catchy. It's winkingly self-aware of how extremely white it is (it ain't called "honky tonk" for no reason). But most importantly, Ronnie Dunn's voice is top-shelf, with all the crispness you could want and relatively little of the whine and twang that's customary to the genre.

I decided that y'all would rather listen to this than tear-in-my-beer, which is why I didn't go with my original choice, Neon Moon. I personally like it better, and it was still a close decision, but ultimately this contest isn't quite about what I want.

Remember: In Oklahoma and Texas, B&B doesn't stand for "bed and breakfast", it stands for "bar and brothel". Although if you squint hard enough after a few beers those are kind of the same.

Good YouTube comment:

I don't listen to this song often
But when I do
So do my neighbors

[Looker]

We're doing reads lists? Mine is going to be drastically different.

[Dr Easy Bake]

That Toad song is the banger we all needed.

would you, in fact, bang to that song

Happily.

Control questions:
*is there a song you would not bang to
*is there a song you would bang unhappily to

*No.
*Anything by Blood on the Dance Floor, since they are the worst musicians in the history of music. If you wanna even call them musicians.

[Vi]

That Toad song is the banger we all needed.

would you, in fact, bang to that song

Happily.

Control questions:
*is there a song you would not bang to
*is there a song you would bang unhappily to

*No.
*Anything by Blood on the Dance Floor, since they are the worst musicians in the history of music. If you wanna even call them musicians.

Spoiler: with apologies

I wouldn't unironically like this because it's

very

insipid and manufactured... but it's so much so that it kind of swings back to better than mediocre IMO. :V

Can understand the turn-off though. It certainly doesn't have the bang-inspiringly triumphant Soviet grandeur that the Toad song does.

[gobbledygook]

Spoiler: with apologies

I wouldn't unironically like this because it's

very

insipid and manufactured... but it's so much so that it kind of swings back to better than mediocre IMO. :V

Can understand the turn-off though. It certainly doesn't have the bang-inspiringly triumphant Soviet grandeur that the Toad song does.

That is the most scene thing I have ever seen in my life.

[Cyril]

honestly the best 1 point i've ever received

[Formerfish]

Spoiler: with apologies

I wouldn't unironically like this because it's

very

insipid and manufactured... but it's so much so that it kind of swings back to better than mediocre IMO. :V

Can understand the turn-off though. It certainly doesn't have the bang-inspiringly triumphant Soviet grandeur that the Toad song does.

That is the most scene thing I have ever seen in my life.

If they put half the effort into their music as they did into their motif then maybe it wouldn't suck.

[Cyril]

Iran – Amusingly I’ve actually heard this song (but not this specific remix) while I was going through the billboard year-end hot 100. The beat of this is kind of obnoxiously early-2000’s in style (I think it’s just straight up a sample?) and the performances on this are just… not my thing, tbh.

Chad – Hmm. I feel like I should like this one more than I actually do but I think his vocals just aren’t working for me. It’s alright though. (AVERAGE)

Djibouti – Hos mad? Hos mad. This is exactly that kind of neo-classical prog metal type of instrumental that is like, y’know, technically impressive, and there were at least some twists on it, but it still didn’t feel that fresh. Still, I’ll take what I can get when it comes to metal in song contests. (DECENT)

Costa Rica – This felt like an entire event that came and went while I was listening to it without really leaving much of an impact. The weird diversions that kept happening towards the end feel like they’d work in the context of an album but do nothing on their own, too. It was, like, fine, but. (AVERAGE)

Spain – God, I’m sure glad this isn’t what mainstream music sounds like anymore. The 80’s sound like they were just a disaster. Sure this isn’t -terrible- but it’s very much not good & kind of obnoxious.

Russia – This isn’t even a funny meme. I’m also not listening to this.

Australia – This one’s actually kind of annoying too, come to think of it. Y’all are really on a roll right now. I guess this one isn’t so bad that I wouldn’t relisten to it again though. (AVERAGE)

Iceland – Man, two-thirds of this album are incredible. Love how chaotic this starts but how it all resolves into something really beautiful by the end, slowly but surely.

Comoros – I’ve probably listened to this band before, the name sounds familiar for some reason? This is pretty neat math rock stuff, if more math rock was like this and less just like random twinkles I’d like the genre more. (DECENT)

USA – Why would you use a music video like this for a song contest. Anyways haha it’s a reference to IT. I dunno. Parts of this are cool but the really core-ish parts do nothing for me and I can’t really take it seriously since it’s all just a giant movie reference. (AVERAGE)

Hungary – I think I’ve heard reference to this song plenty of times but not the original song itself. I kinda hate it but that’s not surprising.

[Cyril]

Sealand – This 100% seemed like the intro track to some kind of power/symphonic metal album and it turns out that’s exactly what this is. I don’t know why you’d submit this over an actual song off the album, but at the same time, either way I think I wouldn’t have cared about it very much. (AVERAGE)

Canada – Eventually I’ll figure out why country singers sing with so much twang in their voice. It’s a stylistic choice that almost universally hurts the genre. Like the instrumentation of this is fine enough with some decent swing but nothing about the vocals appeals to me at all, and it’s not… that special, either. (AVERAGE)

Greenland – I really don’t have much to say about this one other than that I really like how it sounds and I enjoyed it quite a bit. (GOOD)

Somalia – People have various opinions on what constitutes “butt rock” but this specific sound is exactly what I think of when I think of “butt rock”. Meaty, heavy, and pretty gross and I don’t think I care for it much. I dunno. It’s not “the worst” but I feel like I’m being generous with the rating here. (AVERAGE)

Croatia – Oh hey I played this game like 5 years ago. I don’t know why you’d submit Ominous Latin Chanting in a song contest. I don’t think this game’s soundtrack had a ton of actual, like, songs from what I can remember though? I’m gonna submit a video game soundtrack song next contest so this is a good example for me of what not to submit.

Egypt – This is way better than I was expecting it to be and I was kind of blindsided. It’s got a lot of late 90’s/early 00’s pop sound to it especially in the vocal melodies. The climax hits like a bulldozer. Just a good pop banger, nice. (GOOD)

Liechtenstein – Not fully sold on the vocals but this has a nice anthemic feel to it & pretty solid guitar work to match it as well. (DECENT)

Turkey – I ended up listening to about half of this before realizing I could be doing literally anything else.

Poland – I feel like I might be missing some of the context on this one but this was still a pretty enjoyable folk ballad type of song. (DECENT)

Ecuador – Well some of this kind of works but a lot of it does not work at all for me and kinda gets on my nerves. Considering this has been a fairly strong contest so far I’m fine leaving this one by the wayside.

San Marino – For a bit I was wondering if I’d been tricked into listening to a commercial. It does eventually start kind of sounding like a real song at some point, but it still has that uncannily corporate feel to it regardless. (AVERAGE)

[Looker]

Spoiler: I'm not a musician

starting with my favorites

Ecuador

- This one's my favorite. I like the lyrics, I like the melody, I like the visuals. It makes me feel happy, free, and normal.

Chad

- I like the story, vocals, and rhythm. I like the instrumentation as well. I'm going to keep this one for the future.

Liechtenstein

- This one's comfortable and relaxing. Voices are beautiful as well.

Iran

- I think it's hilarious Iran submitted a song of female sexual liberation. It's also a refreshing departure from the norm. I'm a sucker for black women.

Russia

- I won't listen to it again, but I laughed the whole way through.

Australia

- It's catchy, soft, and smooth. This reminds me of this Song Contest platform. Typical and nice. I'm going to keep this one, too.

Djibouti

- I'm more impressed than satisfied. Not my particular genre, but I can recognize the effort in honing that skill. It was nice.

Spain

- This one was cheesily hilarious or hilariously cheesy. I loved it. It reminded me of Kyle Mooney from Saturday Night Live.

Sealand

- I don't know what video game this one is from. God of War?

Hungary

- I've been hearing this song since I was a kid, so I despite it . Nice choice, though.

Somalia

- This sounds like background music to a WWE commercial. It reminds me of body slams and power bombs.

Egypt

- Very pleasant. The song's kind of low, though. I really like it and how flowery it is.

Comoros

- It sounds like the ending credits to an anime. It's pleasant and comfortable.

Canada

- I have PTSD - I hate this song. I'm sure it's great or whatever, but I don't like it. Not the voices, not the tempo, not the twang. No. Sorry.

Turkey

- Is this from a Wes Anderson movie? I sat through it respectfully, lol.

San Marino

- This song sounds like how being lost and hungover feels. I'm not fond of the memory.

Iceland

- Is he okay?

Costa Rica

- Some of the instrumentation is cool, but I'm turned off by the way he just half-talks. I'd prefer effort to be placed into vocalism or lyrics - he has neither.

Greenland

- This is background music for Gran Turismo marathon races. It has to be repetitive so you don't realize how much time you're spending while listening to it.

Poland

- Sounds like a regular kid in my neighborhood. I can't relate to his...story?

Croatia

- What are these things used for? Do you go to sleep to these?

USA

- DEATH TO AMERICA!!! No, but really, tho; why are these guys so angry? I don't see the musicality in sporadic screaming. I'm sure they're great guys, though.

[Cyril]

he is in fact not okay