Mafiascum.net

"Ah, Vimes."
Lord Vetinari barely looked up from his paperwork as Commander Vimes of the City Watch staggered in, looking slightly punch-drunk. He had been caught up by several officers on patrol on his way to the palace, and things weren't looking good. It was nearing Koom Valley day again, and despite the truce, the citizens of Ankh-Morpork were being worryingly liberal in their possession of big clubs and axes.
"Yes, sir." Vimes settled himself comfortably into his upright pose, his eyes finding that familar spot on the wall to stare at slightly above and to the left of Vetinari's head. The crack in the wall seemed to have changed a little since last time.
"I've heard that there's a plot to take down the City Watch." Vetinari said, looking up and giving Vimes a sharp look - which he determinedly ignored.
"Yes, sir."
"Vimes."
"Yes, sir."
"Look at me."
"Yes, sir." Vimes continued to stare at the wall. This meeting was particularly bad, he thought to himself. I can feel his gaze on me. He could probably cut through paper with it.
"They've infiltrated the Watch House."
"Yes, sir. Not difficult, sir. The door sticks and I'm sure half the windows don't-"
"That's not the problem, Vimes. They're going to attack your men. And then you."
"Yes, sir. We'll look into it, sir."
"I don't think you'll need to look very far, Vimes. Warn the men, will you?"
"Yes, sir."
Vetinari sighed. It was always the same.
"Very well then Vimes. You may go." Vimes saluted and turned to leave. He continued walking calmly away from Vetinari's office until he was sure he was out of earshot. That was when he broke into a run, then a sprint, shoving the palace guard out of his way as he charged through the gates. Someone attack his officers? Bring down the watch? Not on damn watch, he thought.



There had been a call for the special constables to report to Pseudopolis Yard. Sgt Fred Colon (Mind always on the job) down the road towards the Watch House, holding in a clenched fist the latest note from his wife, left on the table this morning. He pushed open the doors of the watch house, to find it completely empty, save Lance-Constable A.E. Pessimal sat at the front desk, furiously scribbling one of his reports, scabbard on the wrong way round.
"Uh." Sgt Colon grunted by way of greeting. A.E. Pessimal turned with ferocious discipline and saluted.
"Sir."
"Where is everyone?"
The look of concentration on Pessimal's face turned more into one of worry - or at least, as much worry as his face could manage after serving for 10 years in the civil service being shod of all emotion. With unusual carelessness, he jerked a thumb towards the dressing room. Colon pushed open the door, and stopped in his tracks. A cluster of most of the watch, at least 30 of them, were gathered around something on the floor, stood in furious conversation. On the floor lay the special constables who had turned up early. All of them dead.



Colon turned away, turning faintly green, as Commander Vimes stood up on one of the benches and called out to the dozens of assembled watchmen.
"No-one leaves this room! No-one goes off alone until we find the killers! It's someone here..."

1. This is game. Enjoy yourself, but play to win.

2. No editing or deleting posts.

3. No talking to other players outside the game thread unless your Role PM states specifically that you can.

4. No quoting any PMs from me, including Role PMs. Doing so will get you modkilled. Paraphrasing is OK.

5. Vote for a player to be lynched by using the format. You must before voting again.
5-1. If I see any abuse of this rule (deliberately not unvoting to make a player believe they're lynched, etc), I will count the faked vote as if it was a real one anyway.

6. Days will last 2 weeks. Nights will last up to 72 hours, but may be cut short if I get all actions in before then.
6-1. If discussion is lagging, I may impose a shorter deadline at my own discretion. Deadline extensions will happen on request - but will only happen once per day at most, and if I feel there's enough activity to warrant one.

7. A lynch requires a majority (50% rounded down + 1) vote. You can also No Lynch, by using .
7-1. If there is no majority by deadline, only a half-majority is needed. (Majority / 2, rounded up if necessary)
7-2. If there are 2 players with the same amount of at least half-majority votes at deadline, then I will lynch the one who reached that number of votes first.

8. After someone has been lynched, discussion may continue until I can get to the thread and end the day. If you are dead you may not post, save for one "Bah" post which may not contain any information relevant to the game.

9. Don't use small / invisible font, don't use (That's mine), and don't use any form of clever encryption or code in your messages.

10. If you haven't posted in 3 days, I'll prod you. If you don't pick up that prod AND post within 48 hours, I'll replace you.
10-1. If you need to be replaced for whatever reason, please PM me, don't flake.
10-2. If you are V/LA, don't rely on me checking the thread / your signature. Please post in the thread notifying me of your V/LA or PM me about it.

11. Vote counts will be made at the top of a page, edited into a post in . They will count up to and including the post it's been edited into.

12. Be nice. Excessive flaming will result in a warning, then a replacement or modkill as I see fit.
12-1. "Excessive" is defined by me on the spur of the moment. I will try and be consistent (if indeed I have to warn at all), but if you don't like it, tough.

13. I hope it isn't necessary, but any modkills will negatively effect the rule-breaker's faction in some way which I see fit. If you are modkilled, you lose, no matter how the game ends.

14. I can change, add, or edit rules as I see fit. I will notify players in-thread if this happens.

15. I am not perfect. I may have got something wrong. I may have missed a rule out. Let me know, ask me questions, but don't abuse my mistakes.
15-1. To get my attention in-thread, use the format. Or, y'know, you could PM me.

16. Flavour is for entertainment purposes ONLY. Characters appearing in flavour does not necessarily mean they are a role in the game, and vice-versa.


This is a closed setup. If there are townies in the game, they will receive a PM similar to the following:

Sample Role PM wrote:Welcome to City Watch Mafia, __________!

You are

Acting-Constable Cuddy

. As the first dwarf recruit sworn into the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, you take your responsibilities very seriously, and always tie up your beard to make sure it doesn't get in the way of things. Despite initial racial tensions with trolls in the city, and particularly with the now-Sergeant Detritus, you accepted your life in the watch quite happily. A master crafstman, like many dwarves, you crafted a special helmet for Detritus with cooling fans on it for his brain.

You are a

TOWNIE

.
You have no powers other than your vote to lynch during the day and the discussion.
You win when all the Mafia are dead and there is at least one surviving member of the watch.

To confirm your role, please go into the thread and swear the oath:

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

Please note that this PM will appear in the game, and is meant as a sample only.

Day 1 Start

- Cpl. Nobbs gains Charisn'tma

Day 1 End

- Lynch Scene

Night 1 End

- Death Scene

Day 2 Start

- Cmd. Vimes gains Drunkenness

Day 2 End

- Lynch Scene

Night 2 End

- No Death

Day 3 Start

- Cnst. Dorfl gains Strength

Day 3 End

- Lynch Scene

Night 3 End

- Death Scene

Day 4 Start

- Cpt. Carrot gains Thoroughness

Day 4 End

- Lynch Scene

Night 4 End / Day 5 Start

- Death Scene

Day 5 End

- Lynch Scene
---
Night Actions, Role PMs, Mod's Comments

I, jimfinn, swear to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morepork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of his majesty Vetinari without fear, favor, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me God. God save the King!

(I think I did that right)

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, Tasky, do solemnly swear by The Flying Spaghetti Monster to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His Majesty King Ding Dong without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Gods Save the King.

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favour, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

My dragon is loaded and ready for business, time to feel the cobblestones through the cardboard.

But today, for his 60th Birthday, some strange mechanical process in the Patrician's mind had led him to hold a ball for the high-class society of Ankh-Morpork.

"It's just another chance for all them nobs to get all poncey, if you ask me..." spat Sergeant Colon back at the Watch House. The men (and other miscellaneous species and/or gender) of the City Watch had been asked to watch over the ball - but it had to be done . Sgt. Colon was stood at the desk awkwardly in his black suit, only used before for funerals, sword & baton holstered by his side.

Commander Vimes strode down the stairs from his office into the lobby, ceremonial armour gleaming - minus plumes, of course.*
"Everyone present, Fred?"
Colon looked around quickly.
"We're just missing Nobby and whoever went with him, Sah!" said Sgt. Colon, springing to attention, trying to appear professional in front of the gathered watch**. Suddenly a hush fell amongst the collected watchmen, previous chattering to each other. Down the road, the form of Sergeant Detritus became visible, and stood beside him was... sniggering broke out amongst the collected Watchmen, each feeling slightly guilty.

Stood beside an embarassed-looking Detritus was Corporal Nobbs, dressed in what could only be described as a fashion disaster. A purple suit, plumes sprouting out of every available inch of it, made Nobbs look like some sort of bird which fell into a vat of paint.
"Alright, then..." said Vimes, trying not to crack a smile. He decided he'd already cracked a few ribs holding in laughter, so gave in. "Let's go. Keep an eye on each other as well as the ball, will you?"

When Corporal Nobbs entered the ballroom, a relaxed smile fell over his face. All this socialising - it was . He walked up to a butler and demanded a pint of Winkles, before moving into the middle of the ballroom.
"So.." he said, sidling up to an oldish-looking man holding a sherry, who looked quite alarmed. "Have you heard the one about the tiny man playing the piano?"

Hey people I know/don't know.

Hey people I don't know, because I don't.

VOTE: Thor665 because I'm automatically more distrustful of people with numbers at the end of their usernames.

because I don't trust people with non-consecutive capital letters in their name

VOTE: jimfinn
because he didn't swear on the one and only Deity, The Flying Spaghetti Monster and because he didn't praise His Majesty King Ding Dong.
you other guys haven't turned to the wrong Masters yet, you can still be saved.

"Permission to lurk hardcore, sir?"

"Granted, private. I'll see you sometimes next month. Oh, and be sure to check in every three days to avoid prods. Dismissed."

__________________________________

, for not saying the oath properly .

for thinking Lord Vetinari is a king.

I don't really know the flavor, sorry. And yeah, the intro made it sound like he was haha.