Spoil a Wish II

[AcRv]

Granted, but as an unarmed NPC you really aren't having as great a bank visit as you were hoping for.

I wish this thread was active.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. The forum crashes from the sheer number of people trying to post in this thread.

I wish to be promoted at work.

[humaneatingmonkey]

Granted. Your boss dies and you are the most qualified to take over the position. Your salary did not change.

I wish I could have the fortitude required to face tomorrow's problems.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. Turns out you're a suspect in my boss's death, but at least you have the fortitude to handle the investigators.

I wish to know whether humaneatingmonkey killed my boss.

[AcRv]

Granted. You are burdened with this knowledge but are unable to prove anything and are stuck in your own head unsure how to process and gain the proper closure.

I wish that I had a new car.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. Someone runs a red light and crashes into it the moment you drive it off the lot.

I wish for a girlfriend.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. You feel a little regret not asking for a partner within the

animalia

kingdom, and you're not quite sure what species of fungi she is.

I wish to be the next contestant on american gameshow The Price is Right.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You overbid on all the items up for bids and don't make it out of contestants' row.

I wish for a

human

girlfriend.

[humaneatingmonkey]

Granted. She's abusive.

I wish for perfect health.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You still have to pay for health insurance, and it's expensive as anything. Welcome to America.

I wish my heater worked better.

[DragonEater70]

Granted. It works extremely well and your sheets catch on fire.

I wish more people signed up for my game.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. 4 exact clones of Not_Mafia join for the sole purpose of trolling the shit out of your game.

I wish for a boyfriend.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. He cheats on you.

I wish I were better at self-care.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. You now have a cat's tounge and flexibility, and an insatiable urge to groom yourself.

I wish that twittter would finally burn to the ground and a new, better, healthier website grew from its' ashes.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. It's run by someone who's even more of a control freak.

I wish to be President of the United States.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted.

I wish I didn't need to work so damn hard to meet my basic needs.

[DragonEater70]

Granted. You sit in a gray box all day where meals are dispensed to you three times a day, and a comfortable bed, heating, running water and other needs are supplied, but your life is not fulfilling.

I wish I could go back in time and experience the best parts of my teenage years again.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. You come to realize, to your dismay, that the best parts of your teenage years weren't really that great, leaving you with a lurking feeling of dysphoria that never really fades away.

I wish for an hourglass constructed with enriched uranium dust and leaden materials.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. It's buried under your house.

I wish appliances would never break.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. Instead of breaking, appliances run more and more slowly as time goes on, completely ruining your cup of coffee in the morning.

I wish it was time to play american gameshow Wheel of Fortune.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You're just in the audience, not a contestant.

I wish for my own private mansion.

[DragonEater70]

Granted. You now have a lot of expenses you cannot afford, such as the salary of a whole cleaning staff, a huge electricity bill, and a grandione property tax.

I wish someone ran a game of Deception: Murder in Hong Kong in the Mish Mash forum.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. That's you. Enjoy your modding responsibilities.

I wish people behaved more rationally.

[DragonEater70]

How is that a spoiled wish??! I love modding!

Granted. People become very rational and serious and never do fun things like parties or play mafia (or Telephone Pictionary, or Spoil a Wish) because they are too busy working on saving the planet.

I wish I could fly.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You fly into a building and die... by suicide, since the players in your Deception game are insufferable jerks to each other, making modding the game less fun.

I wish the people in DragonEater70's Deception game didn't drive him to suicide.