Mob Psycho: Emotions [Short Video Essay]

[theslimer3]

Heya peeps! I made a video about how I feel the anime Mob Psycho resonates with me in my feelings of emotions. I’d really appreciate it if you gave me a little feedback on what you think about it ~

[Psyche]

It's a beautiful video I'm glad to have watched. I'm in a mood, so give me some room to maybe be overly critical anyway.

along the way keep in mind that idk i dont make videos like these im not an english major i don't think of myself as authoritative on anything im typing here

For whatever reason, i felt I had to make an extra effort to hang on to your words - i found myself easily distracted by the flowing imagery or getting caught up in particular comments that id have trouble connecting to a broader message. I suspect that an overall trouble you can focus improvement on is a lack of cohesion.

For example, the link between the images and what you're saying is kind of loose and ambiguous. Indeed, you start out with a lot of imagery that has nothing to do with Mob Psycho. To go further, it could be better if the scenes provided were more explicitly linked with your message. You could perhaps even explicitly pick particular moments or quotations (that the listener gets to momentarily hear) from the show as "exemplars" reflecting your overall thesis. These kinds of moves are what justify this medium - a video essay! - and they distinguish a video essay from a regular essay that happens to be read over a montage.

Similarly, and I say this kind of cautiously because I didn't give 100% of my effort/attention while playing your video (but suspect that will be typical of a stray listener not already subscribed to your channel), I fail to detect a clear direction to your comments - like no intro/body/conclusion with some clear thesis. You could look for visual ways to indicate you're about to say something "summative" or whatever, or you could try to structure your essay so that it's more cohesive and liberally apply flow words. You can also use pauses and changes in your tone to emphasize summative ideas, your conclusions or the points you're about to elaborate on.

I feel like even the title "The Importance of Emotions" is kind of symptomatic of this cohesion issue, as it's kind of ambiguous and at best leaves mysterious what you're about to talk about and at worst suggests your video is about something obvious/banal. Everyone knows emotions matter, right? It'd be better to pick a title or topic more specific and even arguable that suggests something incisive awaits viewers. This all returns to picking a meaningful argument and making it as cohesively as possible with the affordances provided by the medium.

btw your voice reminds me of the english dub of that hypnosis guy in angel beats

[theslimer3]

It's a beautiful video I'm glad to have watched. I'm in a mood, so give me some room to maybe be overly critical anyway.

along the way keep in mind that idk i dont make videos like these im not an english major i don't think of myself as authoritative on anything im typing here

Hey, I'm glad you thought it was beautiful and I appreciate the wall of feedback, I can surely use it ~

For whatever reason, i felt I had to make an extra effort to hang on to your words - i found myself easily distracted by the flowing imagery or getting caught up in particular comments that id have trouble connecting to a broader message. I suspect that an overall trouble you can focus improvement on is a lack of cohesion.

For example, the link between the images and what you're saying is kind of loose and ambiguous. Indeed, you start out with a lot of imagery that has nothing to do with Mob Psycho. To go further, it could be better if the scenes provided were more explicitly linked with your message. You could perhaps even explicitly pick particular moments or quotations (that the listener gets to momentarily hear) from the show as "exemplars" reflecting your overall thesis. These kinds of moves are what justify this medium - a video essay! - and they distinguish a video essay from a regular essay that happens to be read over a montage.

I know what you mean here. I've had extra trouble finding clips to convey what I was talking about in certain parts of the essay. But a good idea of what you mentioned is using scenes that play out to tell my point (since it's easier to get context from a scene when it has audio, versus it just being a clip played on screen without the sound or context)
Finding B footage can sometimes be difficult and almost makes me wish I could do on camera, but due to a ton of fears I have, that's a bit out of the question for now, but I'll try harder for next time ~

Similarly, and I say this kind of cautiously because I didn't give 100% of my effort/attention while playing your video (but suspect that will be typical of a stray listener not already subscribed to your channel), I fail to detect a clear direction to your comments - like no intro/body/conclusion with some clear thesis. You could look for visual ways to indicate you're about to say something "summative" or whatever, or you could try to structure your essay so that it's more cohesive and liberally apply flow words. You can also use pauses and changes in your tone to emphasize summative ideas, your conclusions or the points you're about to elaborate on.

The intro was the anecdote, but I can see where it can get pretty confusing. There was no conclusion at all, other than the brief sentence at the end, which for some reason I keep doing. I keep telling myself that I need to brainstorm my videos out, but my brain goes all over the place whenever I decide to do that haha. I should hunker down and do that

I feel like even the title "The Importance of Emotions" is kind of symptomatic of this cohesion issue, as it's kind of ambiguous and at best leaves mysterious what you're about to talk about and at worst suggests your video is about something obvious/banal. Everyone knows emotions matter, right? It'd be better to pick a title or topic more specific and even arguable that suggests something incisive awaits viewers. This all returns to picking a meaningful argument and making it as cohesively as possible with the affordances provided by the medium.

The title was a bit ambiguous, but I meant for it to be a dissection into what makes Mob Psycho's take on the importance of emotions compelling and relatable. Perhaps I can find another way to quickly phrase that, but I'm still kinda stomped at the moment

btw your voice reminds me of the english dub of that hypnosis guy in angel beats

Greg Ayres? I appreciate it!