It began like every other day. Shake woke up
jacked off into Frylock's orange juice
and turned on the TV. Shake was enjoying some morning television when Frylock floated in.
He had horrible news about what had taken place during the previous night.
FRYLOCK. Shake. Turn off the TV. I have bad news.
SHAKE. Sure, I will in a minute
FRYLOCK. This is serious.
SHAKE. Right.
FRYLOCK. Shake, Meatwad was murdered last night!
SHAKE. Oh good, more for me.
FRYLOCK. More what? How can you say that?!
SHAKE. It's about time someone shut that stinky little trap of his. Always talk, talk, talk! Always saying what HE wanted and what HE thought. Good riddance!
FRYLOCK. Someone didn't shut it. They actually did quite the opposite. They ripped him in half. Then fed one half to a rabid wolverine and cooked the other half into burgers for homeless people.
SHAKE, distraught, sits with mouth agape as Frylock looks on angrily.
FRYLOCK. Shake, turn the damn TV off. This is serious!
SHAKE. The TV is helping me deal with my grief.
FRYLOCK. You have an erection!
SHAKE. So what? This mamba is ALWAYS ready to roll, baby.
FRYLOCK. Well that doesn't... I mean...we need to figure out who did this to Meatwad!
SHAKE. Oh good, we can be detectives again! I'll get the t-shirts!
FRYLOCK. We're not detectives, Shake. We're just coming back...for one more job!
SHAKE. Good thinking. Let's start with the murder. If Meatwad was eaten, how do you know what happened to him?!
FRYLOCK. They left me a ransom note.
SHAKE. Well we should pay it. I would do...
anything
... to get our little meat friend back. And if you tell anyone I said so, I will deny it up and down!
FRYLOCK. Well even if we had what they wanted for him, it kind of doesn't make any sense because they killed him.
SHAKE. That's right! If we paid the ransom he'd come back as a zombie!
FRYLOCK. Well, no. It's just that -
SHAKE. I'll get the shotgun and the axe!
FRYLOCK. Wait.
SHAKE. WE HAVE PRECIOUS LITTLE TIME BEFORE THE HORDES OVERWHELM US!
FRYLOCK. That's not going to happen.
SHAKE. YOU MUST BE ONE OF THEM. WE NEED TO TEST YOU.
FRYLOCK. There's no such thing as zombies, Shake.
SHAKE. HOW DELICIOUS DO I LOOK!?
FRYLOCK. Tell you what. How about we eat breakfast and talk this over?
SHAKE. Well...ok. I'll get you your orange juice...
And so Shake and Frylock ate breakfast. Like the goddamn super hero detectives that they are. As Frylock reached for his orange juice, Shake suppressed a smile behind his cunning newspaper disguise. Today had been...
...a good day.